ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > ADULTS AND ADD/ADHD > Adults with ADD > General ADD Talk
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 10-10-17, 12:38 AM
Andy1144 Andy1144 is offline
Newbie
 

Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Virginia
Posts: 2
Thanks: 1
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Andy1144 is on a distinguished road
Nothing makes any sense

It feels like there's 100000 thoughts in my head at the same time. At this point I'm not even thinking hard about what I'm writing because if I stop and think it means I have to think about 1000 different ways to write something and figure out what to say. I mean even writing fast obviously isn't a sustainable effective way of communicating itself, it's still seems to work better than nothing, at least sometimes.

Okay, so I'm not even sure what to write, I'm not even sure why I'm writing this post. It's like I'm just getting these really vague images/impulses in my head and I'm just sort of just guess what those images/feelings mean. And I live this uncertainty every single moment in my life.

That's how bad the adhd/processing disorder, or whatever you want to call it is. So it's basically so bad I can't speak normally, I can't make any friends, it always takes a long time to do even simple tasks. It's like there's so much planning before you do something. Like there's literally 10000000000 ways the future could pan out and obviously you have no idea what exactly to do. I can't drive a car, I can't do anything.

Also, you may relate to this but the feeling of fatigue that I experience from this mental overwhelm is constant. I don't even know what it feels like to have energy.

My sense of time is completely distorted. It feels like I'm trying to figure out life, but there's literally no way to get a clear answer because I can just doubt absolutely everything. Because questions always lead to more questions, it just doesn't ever end.

I feel hopeless because I can't do anything by myself, I can't understand people when they speak. Like there's so many ways to interpret what they're saying.

And there's so much more to this, but I just can't explain it. And I've tries to write down all of my symptoms to make more sense of it but I just can't. Like I can't hold all the thoughts in my head. I can't do anything. And the momentum is just getting worse as time goes by.

I have tried wellbutrin but it doesn't work, just makes me feel worse. I will try stimulant medication soon and I REALLY hope it makes a difference. Because the overwhelm and the feeling frustration that is constant in my life cannot be explained.

I always feel like adding something extra because I feel like I'm forgetting something. I'm always living in fear and doubt. And like now I'm worrying that my post is too long and I'm not sure if I'm being appropriate to the blog. I never feel like I'm acting appropriately. I mean as I said I'm not even entirely sure why I made this post. Is it just to see what people say? Is it just a way to make the time pass? I really don't know anything anymore.

Even small talk for me is impossible, and it's absolutely embarrassing. I feel like I am in a completely different world from everyone. Like I am an alien suddenly put in a completely different environment.

And also, I spend the whole day just thinking about 1000 things at the same time. It's not even deliberate my brain does it by itself. I feel like I'm just chasing vague questions and feeling and wonder what they mean and just ask questions and doubt everything all the time. This level of constant persistent thoughts at least to me seems to be uncommon when it comes to the intensity and severity of my symptoms.

Honestly I have no idea how I'll ever live a normal life. I've just started therapy and going on stimulant meds for the first time. This is like my last hope so I really hope it works. As I'm writing this I'm having thoughts about a ton of other stuff. My brain is desperately trying to compensate for the lack of clarity and functioning in my life.

Okay I think I should stop writing now and forgive me for the length of the post. And here's the thing, I always intend to write things short and to the point but that absolutely impossible. They always come out longer because I always feel like there's something more to add.

Oh also It's so severe, I can't even go outside without bumping into people. I almost got hit by a car twice because of how many thoughts are in my head. It is so difficult to explain. So any thoughts about this?

Can you relate. Have meds and therapy made a big difference in your life?

Any advice? Thank you.

Last edited by namazu; 10-10-17 at 12:43 AM.. Reason: Added some paragraph breaks for easier reading.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Andy1144 For This Useful Post:
Hyperman87 (10-17-17)
  #2  
Old 10-10-17, 02:26 AM
ScatterBrainX's Avatar
ScatterBrainX ScatterBrainX is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Denmark
Posts: 59
Thanks: 1
Thanked 69 Times in 34 Posts
ScatterBrainX is on a distinguished road
Re: Nothing makes any sense

I do relate a lot.

My racing thoughts are to a large degree related to my anxiety, I think. I feel that if I don't constantly obsess over something, always planning and picturing what I need to do and potential problems, it will all go horribly wrong.

This was ok-ish in school, when I only had one thing to worry about at a time (e.g. the next test or homework I had to do). Adulting is a constant stream of stuff I need to keep in mind at all times, and it is pretty overwhelming.

Meds (stimulants) did help a lot. They made me feel more in control, which reduced my anxiety and the stream of thoughts, but didn't eliminate them entirely. They do indeed make a big difference.

Therapy has also helped a ton in understanding where they're coming from, and changing some deeply held beliefs that amplified them. Not all therapists can understand this, btw, so if you feel they don't "get" you, don't hesitate to look for a new one.

Another thing that really helped was mindfulness. Just pausing and noticing what kind of thoughts I'm having, what triggered them and what I'm feeling while having them.
You also get to practice not "falling down the rabbit hole" by meditating. It may sound silly and impossible to just sit and focus on your breath for 5 minutes, and it is. But it's a good opportunity to practice directing your attention towards what you choose. Even if it seems like you can't draw a single breath without getting distracted by a thought, that's ok, the more times you catch yourself doing that, the easier it will get in everyday life.
__________________
I blog about ADHD, anxiety, psychology and mindfulness at http://scatterbrainblogs.com/
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to ScatterBrainX For This Useful Post:
Andy1144 (10-10-17), Hyperman87 (10-17-17), poppetx (10-14-17)
  #3  
Old 10-10-17, 03:47 AM
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets sarahsweets is online now
Mod-A-holic
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: nj, usa
Posts: 24,677
Thanks: 5,536
Thanked 28,903 Times in 13,076 Posts
sarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Nothing makes any sense

Have you ever been evaluated for bipolar I or II?
__________________
President of the No F's given society.

I carried a watermelon?

I've always been one of a kind. It just hasnt always been positive.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to sarahsweets For This Useful Post:
Hyperman87 (10-17-17)
Sponsored Links
  #4  
Old 10-10-17, 08:58 AM
Andy1144 Andy1144 is offline
Newbie
 

Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Virginia
Posts: 2
Thanks: 1
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Andy1144 is on a distinguished road
Re: Nothing makes any sense

Not specifically for bipolar. I did mention to the doctor 2 months ago that I have "racing thoughts" so she thought bipolar and put me on antipsycotic medication (abilify) giving me severe akathisia. The reason I doubt it being bipolar is that my experience is constant, not something that turns on and off.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Andy1144 For This Useful Post:
Hyperman87 (10-17-17)
  #5  
Old 10-10-17, 11:58 AM
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets sarahsweets is online now
Mod-A-holic
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: nj, usa
Posts: 24,677
Thanks: 5,536
Thanked 28,903 Times in 13,076 Posts
sarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Nothing makes any sense

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy1144 View Post
Not specifically for bipolar. I did mention to the doctor 2 months ago that I have "racing thoughts" so she thought bipolar and put me on antipsycotic medication (abilify) giving me severe akathisia. The reason I doubt it being bipolar is that my experience is constant, not something that turns on and off.
Bipolar when not medicated properly can be like you said, almost constant. And there are many other Atypical antipsychotics that dont have the side effects that you experienced.
Racing thoughts can be rumination, OCD-type traits or obssessive thoughts. And bipolar usually requires a mood stabilizer and antidepressant.
__________________
President of the No F's given society.

I carried a watermelon?

I've always been one of a kind. It just hasnt always been positive.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 10-10-17, 11:55 PM
Batman55's Avatar
Batman55 Batman55 is offline
ADDvanced Forum Guru
 

Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: United States
Posts: 1,149
Thanks: 658
Thanked 677 Times in 424 Posts
Batman55 is a splendid one to beholdBatman55 is a splendid one to beholdBatman55 is a splendid one to beholdBatman55 is a splendid one to beholdBatman55 is a splendid one to beholdBatman55 is a splendid one to beholdBatman55 is a splendid one to behold
Re: Nothing makes any sense

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy1144 View Post
Even small talk for me is impossible, and it's absolutely embarrassing. I feel like I am in a completely different world from everyone. Like I am an alien suddenly put in a completely different environment.
ADD with social difficulties, anxiety, and/or pervasive shyness. It pretty much takes away any and all avenues for success.. at least if you have what I have. Forget about having any semblance of a social life, forget about dating, forget about the sensual world altogether.

I experience the same thing--can barely formulate enough mind power to even talk to anyone--although I think many of my social difficulties are better explained by Asperger's or mild autism.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 10-14-17, 11:25 PM
InvitroCanibal's Avatar
InvitroCanibal InvitroCanibal is offline
Moderator
 

Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado, Denver
Posts: 944
Blog Entries: 5
Thanks: 569
Thanked 1,300 Times in 534 Posts
InvitroCanibal has a reputation beyond reputeInvitroCanibal has a reputation beyond reputeInvitroCanibal has a reputation beyond reputeInvitroCanibal has a reputation beyond reputeInvitroCanibal has a reputation beyond reputeInvitroCanibal has a reputation beyond reputeInvitroCanibal has a reputation beyond reputeInvitroCanibal has a reputation beyond reputeInvitroCanibal has a reputation beyond reputeInvitroCanibal has a reputation beyond reputeInvitroCanibal has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Nothing makes any sense

It's okay to know what you are writing about after you write it. This is just an editing issue.

Try this: Take the last thing you wrote. Move it to the top. That is usually what your topic paragraph is

For example, your last sentence could be moved to the top, because that is what you are asking.

"Can you relate. Have meds and therapy made a big difference in your life? "

Any advice? Thank you."

It's not so hard to filter things in your head. It takes practice though. In the same way that I took the last sentence, and move it to the top, you can do that in your mind as well.

If you have a thought stuck in your head, say to yourself "So what I am saying is...."

Another method is to filter, using the word "Because?"

Keep going until you say to yourself because "I want..."

"I want," is the key."

Example below..


I need advice because I need to know how to cope....because?....I am having trouble driving...because? I want to have only one thought at a time. Bingo.

I've used this method since I was seven. Once you know what it is that you want, your mind will settle down and your concentration can improve.

You'll get better at filtering as you do it more.

If you want an easier way to remember it, just think "I want X because I want Y."

Whatever Y is, that is what you want. Once that is clear, everything else will be more clear.
__________________
You can do anything when you allow yourself to look stupid
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 10-15-17, 02:41 PM
cedardust cedardust is offline
Newbie
 

Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Angola, NY
Posts: 5
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
cedardust is on a distinguished road
Re: Nothing makes any sense

I've had to an extent similar feelings. Recently I began wood working. Either refurbishing furniture or just making simple things out of wood (even using broken furniture for the wood). And it puts me basically in a meditative trance. Take a rough scrap of wood, sand it down, get the woodburner out and burn a word like "Serenity" into it. It calms my mind and brings me a sense of peace. Yes, I've cut myself a good number of times when I get into the wood carving, but it's never that bad. so IDK, maybe you just need to find something like that to immerse yourself into.

Oh, and yes I've been on adderall for a good year now and it has helped so much, before I would feel like my prefrontal cortex was on the verge of exploding. I don't have that feeling anymore.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Everything finally makes sense... Saskally222 New Member Introductions 0 06-17-17 04:39 AM
Surprise diagnosis at age 32, but it all makes sense! InkyMarie New Member Introductions 4 11-19-12 04:54 PM
Taking meds makes adult with ADD feel like a mental patient cualexander General Medication Discussion 22 10-28-12 01:18 PM
Sense of accomplishement and positive reinforcement Haakenlid Inattentive ADD 7 08-14-12 10:38 AM
It all makes sense, now. Thank you addforums.com Themselves General ADD Talk 5 10-05-10 01:33 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:07 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums