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  #1  
Old 08-29-04, 12:56 AM
waywardclam waywardclam is offline
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True communication vs. Social Conventions - adult ADD

Okay... quick question:

Would you rather say the truth, or what the listener wants to hear?

Would you rather hear the truth, or something pleasing?

And what do you do if you have to communicate with someone who would choose the other way around?
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Old 08-29-04, 01:05 AM
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I'd rather tell the truth or keep my mouth shut.
I'd rather heard the truth or have them keep their mouth shut.

And that's all I have to say about that...and that's the truth
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Old 08-29-04, 01:33 AM
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Would you rather say the truth, or what the listener wants to hear? Draga is not one to bite her tounge on anything...for people to see the truth they need to hear it

Would you rather hear the truth, or something pleasing? Same as first question applies 2 me as well

And what do you do if you have to communicate with someone who would choose the other way around? Tough!!!! They are going to hear it one way or the other and If they dont want to tell me the truth that I need to hear...Then I will either hear it from someone else or figure it out for myself(ADD Rationalizing is an Art)
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Old 08-29-04, 01:50 AM
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Question #1. If they were someone who couldn't handle the truth and I had to give them an answer, then I would try to give them a truthful answer that they could misinterpret to their liking.
Q.#2. I think that it would depend on what I thought of the other persons opinion.

I perfer the truth all the time though.
If I am with a person whom is rude or just doesn't like me I would perfer something pleasing, but would hopefully not care about their opinion.
Personally I can't stand wondering if I am being played for fun or gain. So I am honest to a fault.
But honestly, if a very unattractive peson asks you if you think they are attractive would you tell them your opinion? I would find a way to not be lying, that they could hopefully missinterpet to their liking.

Q.#3. Same answers as above

Whats your answers to your questions Wayward????
I don't want no clamming around!
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Old 08-29-04, 01:55 AM
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Dat's a good question *Taps Foot* What would be your answer Clam.
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Please do not think me cold, for I do want loving arms to hold, but I am so sick of being used and abused...If I die alone tomorrow I die unbruised.
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Old 08-29-04, 09:22 AM
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[b]Would you rather say the truth, or what the listener wants to hear?[?/B] say the truth

Would you rather hear the truth, or something pleasing? the true

And what do you do if you have to communicate with someone who would choose the other way around? I don't talk
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Old 08-29-04, 04:10 PM
waywardclam waywardclam is offline
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I prefer truth at all times, even uncomfortable truths.

But it seems that a lot of the people around me really don't appreciate that, and I am not sure how to cope with that fact.
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Old 08-29-04, 04:21 PM
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How about a nice kick in da pants for them
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Old 08-29-04, 05:16 PM
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I'd rather hear the truth and I always tell the truth because I speak before I can stop myself from saying anything *stupid*
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Old 08-29-04, 05:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by waywardclam
I prefer truth at all times, even uncomfortable truths.

But it seems that a lot of the people around me really don't appreciate that, and I am not sure how to cope with that fact.

Isn't the "truth" a matter of opinion in many ways?

If someone who believes in God feels that's is the truth and I say I don't believe. I'm telling you the truth about what I believe. You may feel I'm wrong but you can't make me listen to you. Just as I can't make you listen and believe what I feel is the truth.

I came from a family who live with their heads in the sand.....Oh, I've tried to make them come out with the "truth". All I got was heartache they didn't want me around for a very long time. it's now even harder for me not to say
"told you so" years later when the "truth" I told to them has come around to where they see it. They had to see it for themselves to believe it to be the "truth"..... This also goes for myself......

I think jellybean is more right with her post about the truth and how it's handled......
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Old 08-29-04, 05:39 PM
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"To thine Own self be true", Clam. Telling ppl like it is...U bound to run into ppl who can not handle the truth...U know the ole saying.."Truth Hurts" Still U have to be true to yourself and express Your feelings...if they dont like it...U done Your part and nothing you can really do about how they react. Hugs Dawlin.
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Old 08-29-04, 05:55 PM
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Everybody has spoken my answer for me...

I never did very well in Politcal Languages 101 in school (or anywhere else for that matter)

Sugar coating is for Candy not words

Allways
Direct
Hardly
Diplomatic
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  #13  
Old 08-29-04, 06:54 PM
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LOL!!!!!! Garry I love it....!
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Please do not think me cold, for I do want loving arms to hold, but I am so sick of being used and abused...If I die alone tomorrow I die unbruised.
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Old 08-29-04, 07:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaimegerise
I'd rather tell the truth or keep my mouth shut.
I'd rather heard the truth or have them keep their mouth shut.

And that's all I have to say about that...and that's the truth
Generally speaking, I agree. Especially in a friendship. A relationship built on lies is very shallow. I recently shared something with my fiance that I would not normally let other people know. I did this because I felt it important not to keep secrets from each other-- atleast not with things that really matter. He likewise shared how something I did recently really bothered him. It hurt to hear it, but I think it was better than not sharing it with me and having hard feelings that I am not even aware of. Even if it's not a close relationship with the person you're talking to, I believe it's better to say nothing at all than it is to lie.

I would say that there are some exceptions. (Like people in Germany lying about hiding Jews, Catholics, Gypsies, etc. to save them from the Nazis). I've argued this in Sunday School giving example of the midwives lying about Moses being born, to save his life when the Pharoahs were killing all the male infants. Or Rahab lying about the Hebrew spies being on the roof (I think in Joshua chapter 1)-- also to save their lives. But these are not usual circumstances and then one has to consider which is more important, saving a person's life or telling the truth to an enemy.

A little closer to home, my first husband used drugs when he was a teenager-- and not just dabbling. I have a 10 year old daughter. If she were to ask me if her father or I ever took drugs, I would probably lie to her about it. (Not sure. Maybe I'd tell her the truth at the age of 10, but certainly not when she was a couple years younger). My reasoning would be that she would think if it was OK for her Dad to do it, then it is OK for her to do it also.
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Last edited by Salsa; 08-29-04 at 07:56 PM..
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