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  #1  
Old 03-30-09, 01:10 AM
Judia Judia is offline
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Non-Verbal Communication

I've always had a hard time accuratly communicating my thoughts and emotions to others. Since I spent a great deal of my childhood alone, I've always had problems being with people. It takes a long time for me to make friends, or trust people.
Being a child was never easy on me. As an ADHD child, there were an extremely few amount of people who understood me. I had awful experiences with doctors (I shut right down in a psychiatrist's office), adults, other children...it pretty much left me a hermit. Despite it all, I still have decent social skills (i read and judge people very well). I can remember people and things very well, like a photographic memory. (I'm still forgetful, though, sadly.) When I'm with someone, I get to know everything about them--even eating preferences.
What's interesting is this, though...
When I was ten years old, I woke up and didn't remember anything about my childhood. It was like I had a mental block on it all. As the months pasted, I could remember more, but it was often triggered by things--like some amnesia. I remember some things, but not others. Since, then, I've always been interested about learning about my past.
I've been meeting old friends lately, those I grew up with. They still remember me--very well. (I'm a hard child to forget. Trust me. After an hour with child me, you'd be grateful for your own kids.) I found out that habits that I have now are acutally not new.
When I'm with my dad, we can communicate in non-verbal ways--hand signals, looks, body posture--that sorta thing. As it happens, I've done that with people I've been close to my whole life. I hated to be touched, and I talked with my body alot. I found non-verbal communication with other ADHD kids was easier than verbal communication.
Evidentally, it's something I've always done. People have been able to tell my moods depending on the sounds I make, the way I look, but never on what I've told them. (I growled at people when I was angry, but never physical words.)
Is it just me?
(To clarify the photographic memory thing--I remember things as images and impressions. NEVER ask me to remember things you explain, like math and such. Hearing memory isn't all that good.)
If you're a parent of an ADHD child, do you find non-verbal communication easier than verbal communication?
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Old 04-03-09, 06:32 AM
ckingnaturalfix ckingnaturalfix is offline
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Re: Non-Verbal Communication

Many people with adhd (of various ages) also tend to be visual-spatial learners....which talks alot about increased ability to read body language, etc. Although I never had most of the problems you mentioned, I am able to read body language extremely well & have attributed it to much of what I've read about visual spatial learning style. You may be interested in reading about this to see how it relates to ahdh ...... (the best website for info is gifteddevelopment.org, then click of visual spatial).
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Old 04-03-09, 08:23 AM
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Re: Non-Verbal Communication

no,I'm pretty verbal....
....but my memory is in graphic style images
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Old 04-03-09, 01:29 PM
Judia Judia is offline
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Re: Non-Verbal Communication

LMAO---I love ur sig Suz!!!!

Do you think visual-spatial learning has something to do with ADHD? Do you think a majority of ADHD children are highly gifted?
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Old 04-03-09, 05:52 PM
ckingnaturalfix ckingnaturalfix is offline
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Re: Non-Verbal Communication

I think there is a high coorelation between add(adhd) and visual spatial tendencies. Regarding gifted.....not sure. Visual-spatials can be.... "regular visual spatial" (average IQ).... or "gifted visual spatial" (high IQ). many people who are not diagnosed until late HS/ college/ or grad school tend to be "gifted VS" because there IQ allows them to continue to make good grades, etc via various compensation methods, etc.
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Old 04-05-09, 02:38 PM
Judia Judia is offline
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Re: Non-Verbal Communication

Quote:
Originally Posted by ckingnaturalfix View Post
I think there is a high coorelation between add(adhd) and visual spatial tendencies. Regarding gifted.....not sure. Visual-spatials can be.... "regular visual spatial" (average IQ).... or "gifted visual spatial" (high IQ). many people who are not diagnosed until late HS/ college/ or grad school tend to be "gifted VS" because there IQ allows them to continue to make good grades, etc via various compensation methods, etc.

They say a large majority of add/adhd peole are smart.
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Old 04-05-09, 06:52 PM
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Re: Non-Verbal Communication

Sounds a lot like my son. He makes noises and gestures a lot more than he uses his words. Then when he does talk, it's question after question after question ..

For example, whenever I give him a compliment about something he's done, instead of saying "thank you" or aknowledging it within himself, he'll make a wimpering sound, grab my arm/hand and kiss it. I'm trying to get him away from that:

"Hands to self. Use your words." I'll prompt if I have to. It's a timely process.

When he was uncomfortable with a stranger walking towards us, he used to growl like a mean dog so the stranger would be "affraid". He hasn't done that in quite some time but it was frustrating and embarrassing for me. At the same time, I understand now that it's easier for him (and you) to make noises rather than express how he feels.

As for me, I have expressive language issues as well. I must come off like an idiot to people a lot of the time, even though I really do know what I'm doing. I have slightly above average IQ level but you'd never know it.

An example recently, my aunt and uncle went away for a couple of weeks on a trip. We've offered to dogsit their dog so they don't have to take her to a canal. We've never had a dog before so I asked questions about their specific dog: does she bark a lot; how much food should we give her in a day; how often does she need to go out and pee/poo, etc.. Well the way they were talking with me was as if I was some 13 year old girl. They gave a lot of irrelevant suggestions that was very much common sense (how to hold a leash; how to cross the street; how to give her a treat..) My aunt came out with us during our "first walk" to "show us" how to walk her properly. They even dropped the dog off for a weekend before they left to see "how things worked out" ..as if I'm going to be so overwhelmed with having a dog to take care of, that I'd change my mind. Good grief! At one point I said something like, "Well yes, I wasn't born yesterday (laughs)"..

I hear what you're saying.
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Old 04-07-09, 05:59 PM
Judia Judia is offline
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Re: Non-Verbal Communication

It's nice to know I'm not alone. I like non-verbal communication. =)

How old is ur son?
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Old 04-08-09, 10:55 AM
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Re: Non-Verbal Communication

I still have tendencies to use non verbal communications too.
Like pointing where something is rather than saying it in words.

I suppose when you are out hunting mammoths it pays to shut up and just point in the general direction of the beast. This as an aside.
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Old 04-15-09, 03:57 PM
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Re: Non-Verbal Communication

Love it sarek! Thanks for the your non-verbal reasoning clarity!

I too read non-verbal cues well. When I have something important to say, I focus on slowing down, and being intentional with my word choices.
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Old 04-16-09, 04:34 AM
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Re: Non-Verbal Communication

inabox that sounds like me. grammar is apparently the equivalent of a learning disability for me so me + sentences = awkward. i can often write fine but put me on the spot to say something that im not completely sure of the answer and it'll come out in a bunch of stuttered half sentences with weird whimpers lol
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Old 04-07-16, 04:58 AM
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Re: Non-Verbal Communication

When you communicate with your child, you might choose your words carefully, but most communication is without words. Haptic communication includes facial expressions, body language, body contact, eye contact, personal space and tone of voice.

Last edited by namazu; 04-07-16 at 01:28 PM.. Reason: removed link
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