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  #46  
Old 04-22-17, 01:12 PM
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Re: how do guys cope with ADHD in their 40s?

Tried going off meds for a few months as I approach medicare age. Not a smart idea. I was OK, but people around me not so much. (Isn't that what every medicated person says.)

Back on meds, and doing fine. Folks around me are happier. I still have a hard time slowing down, but I get the stuff done I have to. I figure I will be on meds until the folks I love have moved on, and then I will go mobile. I don't see value in medicating for other people I don't care about.
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  #47  
Old 04-26-17, 09:20 PM
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Re: how do guys cope with ADHD in their 40s?

Is anybody else having a problem with doctors saying they will only prescribe long-acting meds for an adult with ADHD I was on short-acting Ritalin for the longest time and I work very well now I can't get it from any doctors I live in New York Long Island specifically any help would be greatly appreciated
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  #48  
Old 04-26-17, 09:34 PM
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Re: how do guys cope with ADHD in their 40s?

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Originally Posted by Ejdaddy001 View Post
Is anybody else having a problem with doctors saying they will only prescribe long-acting meds for an adult with ADHD I was on short-acting Ritalin for the longest time and I work very well now I can't get it from any doctors I live in New York Long Island specifically any help would be greatly appreciated
Welcome to the forum!
I have not had that problem in S. Florida. I am with the same Dr. who diagnosed me and has never even suggested extended release. She prescribes me adderall IR and dextroamphetamine IR. She believes the IR (instant release) works better for adults.

I think she only prescribes XR for children.

The extended release stimulants are supposedly harder to abuse which may be why Dr's there are hesitant. Fear of possible litigation is probably it.
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  #49  
Old 04-26-17, 09:55 PM
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Re: how do guys cope with ADHD in their 40s?

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Welcome to the forum!
I have not had that problem in S. Florida. I am with the same Dr. who diagnosed me and has never even suggested extended release. She prescribes me adderall IR and dextroamphetamine IR. She believes the IR (instant release) works better for adults.

I think she only prescribes XR for children.

The extended release stimulants are supposedly harder to abuse which may be why Dr's there are hesitant. Fear of possible litigation is probably it.
I am aware of doctors who go nuts with college students, in particular, who try to get a dx to obtain stims. Shame. They hurt everyone. Poor doctors. Like they need to be trying to figure out whose legit or not. That's a good reason why they should be careful to do a complete workup.

It is ironic. Here we are people who've lived with this nightmare and learned to second ourselves constantly, only to be liberated by modern medicine, only to face non-stop scrutiny by loads of folks concerned we are phonies or drug addicts seeking to get high. That's all we needed.

If a drug to treat autism was discovered, that relieved the symptoms, it would be celebrated across the world in every newspaper, magazine, t.v. news program, talk shows. What do we get? Suspicion. Doubt. Second guessed. Mocked. Dismissed. The butt of jokes and endless speculation involving big pharma, conspiracies, cartels, corrupt scientific studies, bribed politicians. Lovely
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  #50  
Old 05-05-17, 05:09 PM
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Re: how do guys cope with ADHD in their 40s?

I guess I'm glad I found this forum, and this thread. I was just diagnosed two days ago. Still processing how to feel about it. I guess there's not much to process. It is what it is.
It's good to read other people's issues with it and relate. Now I know I'm not the only one and there is hope for things to get better. I always thought things like ADHD were fake. I'll admit it. Now that it's happened to me ( well, the diagnosis that is...) I guess there's no more denying it. Doing the research myself and checking all the boxes... I was like, "Yep. That's me." My wife agreed even moreso, and she's pretty objective, so... here we are. I start some happy pills tomorrow. We'll see what happens - but just wanted to at least pop in here and say thank you to everyone for being so honest and sharing your experiences. As much as I'm not looking forward to the judgement of the world ( and family, friends?) - It is good in a way to know that there's a reason behind the way I am. I just wish they'd figured it out ( or that I'd figured it out) 30 years ago. Anyway, that's it. Thanks, and have a good weekend.
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  #51  
Old 05-05-17, 07:01 PM
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Re: how do guys cope with ADHD in their 40s?

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Originally Posted by RextheDog View Post
I guess I'm glad I found this forum, and this thread. I was just diagnosed two days ago. Still processing how to feel about it. I guess there's not much to process. It is what it is.
It's good to read other people's issues with it and relate. Now I know I'm not the only one and there is hope for things to get better. I always thought things like ADHD were fake. I'll admit it. Now that it's happened to me ( well, the diagnosis that is...) I guess there's no more denying it. Doing the research myself and checking all the boxes... I was like, "Yep. That's me." My wife agreed even moreso, and she's pretty objective, so... here we are. I start some happy pills tomorrow. We'll see what happens - but just wanted to at least pop in here and say thank you to everyone for being so honest and sharing your experiences. As much as I'm not looking forward to the judgement of the world ( and family, friends?) - It is good in a way to know that there's a reason behind the way I am. I just wish they'd figured it out ( or that I'd figured it out) 30 years ago. Anyway, that's it. Thanks, and have a good weekend.
Welcome to the forum Dog!

Hopefully, you respond well to treatment and it greatly improves your life.

I was also very skeptical of ADHD when I was diagnosed at age 45. Treatment has literally changed my life for the better. The more I have learned about it and also from reading so many other's experiences here, the more confident I've become that my diagnosis is correct.


Getting an ADHD diagnosis finally made sense of my life. It has explained and very well so many issues I experienced growing up and never understood. I thought they only happened to me until I found this forum.

Now, I regularly read posts I can relate to so well.

Enjoy the forum!
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  #52  
Old 05-06-17, 02:57 PM
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Re: how do guys cope with ADHD in their 40s?

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Originally Posted by RextheDog View Post
I guess I'm glad I found this forum, and this thread. I was just diagnosed two days ago. Still processing how to feel about it. I guess there's not much to process. It is what it is.
It's good to read other people's issues with it and relate. Now I know I'm not the only one and there is hope for things to get better. I always thought things like ADHD were fake. I'll admit it. Now that it's happened to me ( well, the diagnosis that is...) I guess there's no more denying it. Doing the research myself and checking all the boxes... I was like, "Yep. That's me." My wife agreed even moreso, and she's pretty objective, so... here we are. I start some happy pills tomorrow. We'll see what happens - but just wanted to at least pop in here and say thank you to everyone for being so honest and sharing your experiences. As much as I'm not looking forward to the judgement of the world ( and family, friends?) - It is good in a way to know that there's a reason behind the way I am. I just wish they'd figured it out ( or that I'd figured it out) 30 years ago. Anyway, that's it. Thanks, and have a good weekend.
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  #53  
Old 05-06-17, 08:10 PM
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Re: how do guys cope with ADHD in their 40s?

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Originally Posted by RextheDog View Post
I guess I'm glad I found this forum, and this thread. I was just diagnosed two days ago. Still processing how to feel about it. I guess there's not much to process. It is what it is.
It's good to read other people's issues with it and relate. Now I know I'm not the only one and there is hope for things to get better. I always thought things like ADHD were fake. I'll admit it. Now that it's happened to me ( well, the diagnosis that is...) I guess there's no more denying it. Doing the research myself and checking all the boxes... I was like, "Yep. That's me." My wife agreed even moreso, and she's pretty objective, so... here we are. I start some happy pills tomorrow. We'll see what happens - but just wanted to at least pop in here and say thank you to everyone for being so honest and sharing your experiences. As much as I'm not looking forward to the judgement of the world ( and family, friends?) - It is good in a way to know that there's a reason behind the way I am. I just wish they'd figured it out ( or that I'd figured it out) 30 years ago. Anyway, that's it. Thanks, and have a good weekend.
One thing to watch out for: they are *not* happy pills. My experience is that they allow me to not worry about a lot of things I'm used to worrying about and that makes me a ton less stressed and it makes life about five time more fun and ten times easier, but they make your filters work and they help you concentrate. If you, like I did, are super sad before you take them, you might find that you're overwhelmingly and inescapably sad until they wear off because you are "able" to concentrate on the sadness where before that might have been a fleeting emotion you could just acknowledge and let fly away. If you're having semi obsessive thoughts about something or someone, you may find that stimulants transform those into full blown obsessive ones.

I am a huge fan of medication for ADHD. When I'm not able to take pills, I get a bit freaked out now because I know how much help the meds are for me and the people I'm around. You will, especially as a fortysomething person, find that you've come into a lot of habits and mechanisms to account for the ADHD, and learning how to sunset those will give you some of the best joy there is a o have about this condition, but if you're anything like me you also have made a number of assumptions about how your mind works that no longer apply to your mind on stimulants, and you'll need to learn your way around that too.
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  #54  
Old 05-14-17, 05:37 PM
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Re: how do guys cope with ADHD in their 40s?

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Originally Posted by Johnny Slick View Post
One thing to watch out for: they are *not* happy pills. My experience is that they allow me to not worry about a lot of things I'm used to worrying about and that makes me a ton less stressed and it makes life about five time more fun and ten times easier, but they make your filters work and they help you concentrate. If you, like I did, are super sad before you take them, you might find that you're overwhelmingly and inescapably sad until they wear off because you are "able" to concentrate on the sadness where before that might have been a fleeting emotion you could just acknowledge and let fly away. If you're having semi obsessive thoughts about something or someone, you may find that stimulants transform those into full blown obsessive ones.

I am a huge fan of medication for ADHD. When I'm not able to take pills, I get a bit freaked out now because I know how much help the meds are for me and the people I'm around. You will, especially as a fortysomething person, find that you've come into a lot of habits and mechanisms to account for the ADHD, and learning how to sunset those will give you some of the best joy there is a o have about this condition, but if you're anything like me you also have made a number of assumptions about how your mind works that no longer apply to your mind on stimulants, and you'll need to learn your way around that too.
I totally understand what you are saying. I'm also newly on anti-depressants, but had some side effects and stopped them for a few days and feel just as good without them. I know it's not really a "happy pill" as most use the term, but it does do what you were talking about - it allows me to only think about one thing at a time, and it's taken away 90% of my "worry" - most of which was just useless worry about the stupidest things.

I started taking Vyannese or whatever it's called last week and although I wasn't floored by the difference, within a few days I was adding up all the little things that were better. I can't believe this is how normal/neurotypical people feel all the time. It's also made me alot less critical and grumpy - and when something goes wrong, I don't freak out and get upset or angry about it. Now, I haven't been tested on anything major, but you know - to someone with ADHD little things can be "major."

The other night I was grilling some sausage on our Big Green Egg ( which I love, btw - worth it - get one! ) and I accidentally opened the damper on the bottom way too much and when I checked on the sausage, the flames were going and they were burning. Well, surprise, I'd taken my grilling tongs back into the house and forgot to bring them back out. I suddenly said "Oh no and took off running for them." My wife, who has put up with my undiagnosed ADHD for 25+ years yells " DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! IT'S OK! IT'S FINE!"

I know this is an attempt to head off a temper tantrum and alot of verbal self abuse because I "did something wrong." Amazingly, I wasn't upset at all - I was just focused on getting those tongs out there and flipping them around, and shutting down the heat.

I was actually laughing like a kid when I came running out the door with the tongs because I had realized as I was going after them that I wasn't upset about it. I wasn't mad. I wasn't cursing my own "stupidity" for the mistake.

Oh, you should have seen the scene I made three years ago when I totally ruined two slabs of $40 ribs on the grill by burning them. I was inconsolable for two days! Angry at how stupid I was! ( the truth is I'm not that stupid, my IQ is over 130. )

Anyway, I just wanted to come back here and say that, so far, even though it's just been a short time, ( and I'm probably going to suffer the sex trade off for using Vaynesse (sp?) ) it's working well for me. It makes me a nicer person, and if that's all it does that will be worth it for those around me.

The struggle isn't over, but compared to how I felt three weeks ago, it just feels like I'm a kid again. Weight lifted off me. Only one radio playing in my head at a time, and I'm able to sit at a resturant with my wife and NOT hear every conversation around us (without trying.)
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Old 07-20-17, 12:32 AM
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Re: how do guys cope with ADHD in their 40s?

ADHD is a disease which oneself should be aware of, because of this being a brain function problem it can be hard to manage but not impossible. ADHD does not define a person, neither the desires for a life full of joy. Life has up and down, sure; as an adult, we need to look forward the next drop and adjust so we can have an easy transition going back up.
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Old 07-23-17, 07:01 PM
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Re: how do guys cope with ADHD in their 40s?

take medication, and find a good psychotherapist to work through the backlog of mental baggage / shame / guilt etc
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Old 07-23-17, 07:11 PM
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Re: how do guys cope with ADHD in their 40s?

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does anyone have tips on coping with ADHD in their 40s?
Do people cope differently in their 40s than in their 50s?
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Old 07-26-17, 10:48 PM
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Re: how do guys cope with ADHD in their 40s?

It is sad, but good at the same time to read mind states such as mine. Found out that I am ADD on my last birthday at age 45. Six months later, fired from another job for my reactive personality to ******* young thugs at the job. Sad it was in housekeeping, where my passion is IT, but I keep starting and stopping when it comes to study habits ( been practicing for my CCNA for the last seven years (pathetic). At least I finally know why my friends have nice homes, cars, and families. While I am still looking like an immature vagabond sharing an apartment with others. Sad to say that I am so tired off getting close to some sort of success, and BAM, financially fall on my butt. But like I stated in the beginning, it is so good to read comments from others with the same mental state. Because I thought I was just a rebellious butt hole that could never grow up even though I wanted too. Good luck to all that has to go through life with this stuff, so close to just giving up.
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Old 07-27-17, 05:10 AM
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Re: how do guys cope with ADHD in their 40s?

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It is sad, but good at the same time to read mind states such as mine. Found out that I am ADD on my last birthday at age 45. Six months later, fired from another job for my reactive personality to ******* young thugs at the job. Sad it was in housekeeping, where my passion is IT, but I keep starting and stopping when it comes to study habits ( been practicing for my CCNA for the last seven years (pathetic). At least I finally know why my friends have nice homes, cars, and families. While I am still looking like an immature vagabond sharing an apartment with others. Sad to say that I am so tired off getting close to some sort of success, and BAM, financially fall on my butt. But like I stated in the beginning, it is so good to read comments from others with the same mental state. Because I thought I was just a rebellious butt hole that could never grow up even though I wanted too. Good luck to all that has to go through life with this stuff, so close to just giving up.
wow, I am so sorry you feel this way. I dont think you are pathetic. Having nice material goods isnt as wonderful as some make it out to be. I dont think you are a butthole either, dont give up.
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Old 07-29-17, 04:29 PM
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Re: how do guys cope with ADHD in their 40s?

I wasn't diagnosed with ADD until I was 41. It took numerous fights with my wife (about what, I, um, don't recall....ADD, y'know?). We tried counselling, books, etc. Finally, in an act of desperation, I consulted a psychiatrist who listened to me for 5 minutes before whipping out an ADD/ADHD questionaire for me to fill out. I checked a lot of boxes. She prescribed me Adderall...and at that point, I would have taking damn near anything to make things better.

I was started on 5 mg of Adderall...and in about 20 minutes, I felt it come up....and I almost cried, because, for the first time in a long time, I could hear everything, and see everything going on around me and I could retain and remember what my wife was talking about. I wasn't just locked in my own head anymore.

It improved things greatly. My wife and I still have communication issues but we fight much less now. I can play with my kids and be involved in their experience as well.

I use a strategy of automation and reminders (google notifications and alerts) so that I eliminate as many things as possible that I actually need to remember. I use locations as well...that way habit manages the things I forget.

I try to also remember that for me there is no yesterday or tomorrow, only now and I used the medication to get things done in the now as best I can. I still do the pile thing tho.
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