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  #16  
Old 03-03-09, 06:03 AM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

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Originally Posted by Sehnsucht View Post
Having to watch porn in order to er...reach that point of...release(?)(being very careful here mods)is dftly not good.
If mods here banned people for saying things like "blow a load" I'd better get out of here fast!
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Old 03-03-09, 09:40 AM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

If you'll pardon all the puns etc, but masturbation and sex are just other forms of stimulation that ADD'ers can use to self-medicate with.
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  #18  
Old 03-03-09, 03:53 PM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

I thank you all for the input but are the many guy ou there addicted to it too. ADHD and ADD people are very impulsive by nature and addiction is easy too. Any advice or fellow men with the same issues
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Old 03-03-09, 05:58 PM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

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Originally Posted by jjreadhd View Post
I have ADHD and find that porn may have changed my desires and expectations for real sex. I wondered if this is another form of self injury. Any men that can relate would love to know or if you do how you deal with it?

I also wondered do all men find masterbation as a form of relaxation and self medicating.
I had never talk with anyone about this, but im like you, well im addicted to masturbation, well, thatīs what i think, i see a lot of porn, and i masturbate some days 15 to 30 times, i donīt loose sexual desire with women, but i think that normal man donīt masturbate so many times, but i donīt know, nothing of this has interrupted me from any of my activities, but i donīt know...I am an addict?

By the way, i just had been diagnosed last week with ADD.
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Old 03-15-09, 02:37 AM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

While I don't think I have an addiction to porn or masturbating, when I do watch porn, I find that I can never just watch a single movie start to finish, even if it's just a three minute clip from one of those Youtube-like porn sites. Instead, I often open 10 or more browser windows with different clips and jump around wildly between all of them. It's like I can't decide which one turns me on the most so I cycle between all of them. I'll also often jump around within a clip "skip to the good part".

I actually did have quite an impressive porn collection a few years ago in high school (which was especially impressive at that time because the internet was so slow -- I mostly acquired it by copying it from friends). But

1. I kept on running out of disk space for "more important" stuff (like games LOL)
2. I made a conscious decision about one or two years ago to stop downloading porn (and also to reduce the amount I watch).

So far I've been able to manage this quite well. Every once in a while I do get an urge to masturbate (that's when then stuff I described in the first paragraph happens). But I feel like I can live with this quite well.
The key is to delete your porn collection (or if you can't bring yourself to do it, at least make it very bothersome to access -- like putting it on an external hard drive that you keep somewhere on a hard-to-reach shelf). Tell yourself that if you really need to watch porn, there's always enough free porn online. But -- don't keep bookmarks to your favorite sites and clips!
This way, if you feel like watching porn and masturbating, you'll at least have to think first if it's really worth the hassle. I find that often enough, it isn't.
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  #21  
Old 03-25-09, 06:12 PM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

I'm consumed with all sorts of fetishes.

Threesomes, Orgies, Fisting. I want a woman that will have sex with other men while I watch.
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  #22  
Old 03-26-09, 06:10 PM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

O.k my issue is self gratification..I did the porn thing alot mainly hi on stimulants.Meth/crack/etc...married a long time and most of our sex was drug induced
for me..past the 20 year mark of marriage or even further back I used the drugs to experiment sexually by myself and got hooked...a motel porn and some speed made for
some crazy times with me myself and I mean wow..But my Marriage suffers from it and being off of drugs for 10 months we have no sex life..I was on anti depressants but thought they contributed to my lack of feelings and stopped them 2 months ago(Prozac).Still nothing...I do occasionally stoke it in the shower and enjoy it even though It only takes a minute or to to do..Thats another reason I used drugs..I could last for hours hi...So my relationship suffers from this issue of mine...
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Old 03-27-09, 05:00 AM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

Forgive me gentlemen for jumping in on this one. I hope Im not imposing but I was struck by what jjreadhd's problem because I've kinda been in the same boat. I've been beginning to feel like some kind of freak. I dont tell my girlfriends because they can be very judgemental and I dont tell guys because they tend to feel like "jack pot" and that Im easy or something. The reality for me most of the time is that I'm getting better stimulation from porn and thereby having a better orgasm. I has effected my dating. I've set the sex bar pretty high for the poor souls trying to win my heart and I dont know how to go back. I've been celibate for almost 9 months because of it. Its kind of made me feel sexually discouraged. Im sorry I dont have any answers for you jjreadhd but I am thinking that since Im a women with ADD maybe it is an ADD thing. I dont know. Thank you for sharing and letting me share. I dont feel so alone now.
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Old 03-29-09, 02:12 AM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

Only1Jomo, no truer words have been spoken than when you said "I dont tell my girlfriends because they can be very judgemental".

Girls are SOOO hard on girls. For all the gender equality that has emerged in the last 50 years, I swear I can't believe how much women claw each other down when it comes to any sort of sexual liberty/identity.

I was actually at a charity even for feminism last night, and despite all the talk of equality, when two gorgeous girls (with very short skirts) walked by our table, the "ladies" at our table Reacted. They murmored to each other "Sl--"...."Ho--"... and I thought, maybe women don't really want to be liberated? What makes them do this? Jealousy? Habit? I don't know.

Anyway, you do what you need to do... and my advice is to be very straightforward with your dates. No games. Tell them straight out that you have a high sexual appetite and that it's not for everyone. Let them know from the get-go that the bar is set high. Honestly, not every guy has a huge sexual appetite and you will simply scare them away, saving both of you a lot of time. If they still persist, Then you can let them know that you're not "easy".

Good luck.... wish I had more answers. I have a pretty high appetite myself. I used to try and hide it, but now I'm just upfront with it and it saves everyone a lot of time.
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  #25  
Old 03-29-09, 04:28 AM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

Yeah, I understand the porn/masturbation addiction very well. After a while you do it just because if you don't you're sex drive comes back full force and you want to screw any female within a 50 mile radius.
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Old 03-31-09, 01:46 AM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

ADD related - possibly but I think it is more hormonal related myself as I know ADDers with the full spectrum of sexual desires and porn viewing habits.

How you deal with your sex drives is as individual as you are as a person.

Yes porn may be stimulating for you and hence self medicating however for the next ADD porn may be boring as hell and they can't stay focused - their form of self medication may be hang gliding or bungee jumping. ADD is an attention span issue meaning you can not consciously control your direction of focus and length of attention span - where that focus goes is individual

Just as some addicts become "addicted" to AA meetings, other to religion while others become workaholics - it is all the same issue of addiction but it is expressed via different out lets according to the individual

So while porn may be a form of self medicating for one ADD it isn't the ADD it is the way you seek to stimulate your self - what we seek is a diverse as the addiction expression is for addicts.


Quote:
I was actually at a charity even for feminism last night, and despite all the talk of equality, when two gorgeous girls (with very short skirts) walked by our table, the "ladies" at our table Reacted. They murmored to each other "Sl--"...."Ho--"... and I thought, maybe women don't really want to be liberated? What makes them do this? Jealousy? Habit? I don't know.
I can see this apparently the term liberated is not fully understood when it comes to feminism

Looking in disgrace at two female dressed scantly has nothing to do with jealously habit or liberation - it has to do with the perspective that dressing as a sex object for men is the opposite of liberating women . To many the lack of modest dress is propagating the old male driven sex object view of women.


Quote:
Girls are SOOO hard on girls. For all the gender equality that has emerged in the last 50 years, I swear I can't believe how much women claw each other down when it comes to any sort of sexual liberty/identity.
The equality was between males and females. Pre-modern times women were to be obedient barefoot and pregnant. Women who worked were paid less than males who did the same job - women were seen as tools of men not as partners -

If a husband beat his wife that was a domestic problem the cops did nothing - 75 years ago many parents didn't even send their daughters to school and if they did it was only to learn to read enough to be able to sign her name and read a recipe because a woman was expected to marry and her husband was to be the one who worked and made all the important decisions.

If a woman ended up marrying a drunk who cheated she was expected to deal with it like a "good wife" as say nothing , as long the husband the basics of food, shelter, ect . . . nothing else was expected of him including fidelity.

Oh and women were not given the same options If she slept with another man she was a s**t and if caught her husband could do as he pleased with no legal ramifications .

100 years ago women could not own property , My mother was expected to get her husband's permission to go to nursing school - this was 1976

Liberation has nothing to do with dressing like a street walker it has to do with equality of choice - If our husband is a drunken cheater we can leave because we have the education to support ourselves and don't need to put up with some males crap in order to survive


Now porn and ADD - bet ya thought I forgot

. It isn't necessarily an ADD issue as NTer will view porn just like they will some times get addicted to drugs and alcohol. Porn is an individual preference although the market is male dominated at this time Females often prefer "romance novels" books written about sex. However there are women who enjoy porn as much as any man and thanks to women's liberation bringing about financial equality they can afford to buy their own {hows that for tying liberation into the pron topic}
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  #27  
Old 03-31-09, 02:11 AM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

WARNING: Masterbation may cause drowsiness.
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Old 03-31-09, 11:13 AM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

Quote:
Originally Posted by Only1Jomo View Post
Forgive me gentlemen for jumping in on this one. I hope Im not imposing but I was struck by what jjreadhd's problem because I've kinda been in the same boat. I've been beginning to feel like some kind of freak. I dont tell my girlfriends because they can be very judgemental and I dont tell guys because they tend to feel like "jack pot" and that Im easy or something. The reality for me most of the time is that I'm getting better stimulation from porn and thereby having a better orgasm. I has effected my dating. I've set the sex bar pretty high for the poor souls trying to win my heart and I dont know how to go back. I've been celibate for almost 9 months because of it. Its kind of made me feel sexually discouraged. Im sorry I dont have any answers for you jjreadhd but I am thinking that since Im a women with ADD maybe it is an ADD thing. I dont know. Thank you for sharing and letting me share. I dont feel so alone now.

Hi Jomo,

I got on here to post about setting limits and I got distracted by this topic. As I was reading I was thinking two things . Is it okay for a woman to post in

the mens section becaue I can relate times ten sometimes more.

So relieved to see you went ahead and posted.

Yes this can be a problem

But only if we make ourselves feel bad because of it . I mean I didn't ask for it . I don't ask to walk around lit up like a pin ball machine.

And this DOES have an effect on my intimate realtionships. I've been celebate for YEARS But feel just as vunerable as the day I stopped dating .


Quote:
WARNING: Masterbation may cause drowsiness.
LOL!!!! who needs ambien.

when I was struggling with my food addiction and couldn't stop My then very nice loking male therapist said.

"why don't you try masterbating instead"

As niaeve as I was at the time I actually thought he had a good suggestion.

Later a few years after Ieft him I realized .. Eh No...

Probably a beter alternative when nothing elese was working I guess.

with women though theres the no end to the number . Not a one shot deal in other words so and there is no satiation point .

JJread,

I'm still not sure if this is for you or a friend or just gathering info .

like any addiction there are ways of dealing with it . Limiting visual stimulation is one . And in this day and age with everyone so exposed its not just a ful exposure porn issue . Its Porn light in advertizing and Tv .

HA HA HA .. i hit something and the next thing I knew the screen was telling me my post had beed posted twice.

I was about to add , For me its verbal not just visual.

and is it a form of self injury?

only if you view it as being injurious ,

Ive heard it has great health benis chi and the like so .


and I'll stop here.

Infinity~
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Old 03-31-09, 01:05 PM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

Quote:
Originally Posted by jjreadhd View Post
I thank you all for the input but are the many guy ou there addicted to it too. ADHD and ADD people are very impulsive by nature and addiction is easy too. Any advice or fellow men with the same issues

Hi JJreadhd,

There is sex addicts anonymous for this kind of problem . For me I just stay away from anything that is stimulating . thats a start.

and just an after thought about being injurious . Mostly to ones partner .

its pretty sad to be a woman who has a man get off on porn and gives her squat. Been there . the same can happen the other way around.

Just the need for anything apart from a partner can be debilitating for a couple .

Infinity~

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Old 03-31-09, 09:40 PM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

meadd823, Thanks for your very thoughtful responses here. I really truly do appreciate it. Now if I were a colleague or immediate family member of yours, I would promptly nod my head, and slowly back out of the room. Due to the wonders of the internet, however, I can provide you with a rebuttle not unlike the thoughts of a large majority of men and women who simply choose not to burn their bridges in real life. Please understand that while I disagree, I still do so with the utmost respect for you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by meadd823 View Post
I can see that apparently the term liberated is not fully understood when it comes to feminism.
Looking in disgrace at two female dressed scantly has nothing to do with jealously habit or liberation - it has to do with the perspective that dressing as a sex object for men is the opposite of liberating women . To many the lack of modest dress is propagating the old male driven sex object view of women.
First of all, please do not mistake your opinion of "liberated" for the actual meaning, dictionary definition, or opinion of other feminists. What you just described would be abruptly shut down by most feminists and sexists alike. Having said that, I respect your opinion that there is value to modest dress. I respect your opinion that nobody should have to dress like a sex object for men. I Agree with you that women should be able to cover themselves up, if they so choose. In fact, I even support women who wear Burkas. I think their religion and their personal choices can be beautiful.

I stop agreeing with you when you suggest being disgraced by members of your own gender because YOU think they should dress differently. I've never told my mother, sisters, or girlfriend how to dress. I never will. That is because I respect their liberty. Trust me, it's not because they always dress well. The moment you are disgraced by the personal dress choices of other women, that is the moment you become much worse than any man you imagine is holding them back. It is the moment your argument becomes the same argument some use to Force women to wear Burkas. That kind of disdain, lack of respect to their own free choice, makes you your gender's worst enemy.

(And by the way, the scheduled entertainment for the evening was a Burlesque show. Trust me, these women did not share your point of view. It was something else, and I assume it was to do with youth and beauty)


Quote:
The equality was between males and females. Pre-modern times women were to be obedient barefoot and pregnant. Women who worked were paid less than males who did the same job - women were seen as tools of men not as partners -
Fair enough. The equality Was between males and females (and maybe the church too). Times have changed. People have changed. I'm talking about the present.

Quote:
If a husband beat his wife that was a domestic problem the cops did nothing - 75 years ago many parents didn't even send their daughters to school and if they did it was only to learn to read enough to be able to sign her name and read a recipe because a woman was expected to marry and her husband was to be the one who worked and made all the important decisions.
75 years ago was 1933, and a wife could shoot her husband dead on the floor without getting a police response. 1933 was the Great Depression, and Most people didn't send their kids to school because there was No Money. My grandmother went to school in the depression, but her brothers stayed behind to work on the farm. And they didn't start a male revolution because of it. By the way, you weren't born yet so this definitely wasn't why these girls walking by last week were called "Sl--".

Quote:
If a woman ended up marrying a drunk who cheated she was expected to deal with it like a "good wife" as say nothing , as long the husband the basics of food, shelter, ect . . . nothing else was expected of him including fidelity.
That sounds more like the present, to be honest. My great grandmother kicked her husband out for drinking, and as a result I've never even met him. Now, it seems like a lot of girls put up with it. Now maybe we should be doing a lot more to help these girls, but a lot of times they truly do choose that life. Why? Bugs me.

Quote:
Oh and women were not given the same options If she slept with another man she was a s**t and if caught her husband could do as he pleased with no legal ramifications.
Fair enough. Highly irrelevant to the original comment, but I won't argue with it. This had more to do with a lack of birth control and sexual protection...it wasn't malicious. But it's true.

Quote:
100 years ago women could not own property , My mother was expected to get her husband's permission to go to nursing school - this was 1976
I'm not sure if we're talking about 1908, 1976, or somewhere inbetween here. The property rights issue did not affect me, or our mothers, or our grandmothers. Women have had some form of property rights in the US since 1674, and had full property rights as of the Women's Property Act of 1848. Lots of unfair things went on in this world if you go back 500 years. Most of them, we don't fully understand in hindsight. Let's move on here.

1976: Right, because she was married with kids, probably. Outdated rule? Sure. But it worked the same for men. To this date, do you think a married man can just drop the family income and go to school without consulting the wife? No, he'll be on the street and owing child support within the month. He'll be in jail if he doesn't find a way to pay it. Lots of women were graduating with degrees in 1976, so let's be fair here.

One thing that did happen between 1908-1976, two world wars. In these two wars, men fought for our liberties (such as feminism), and to protect their mothers, their wives, their sisters, and their daughters. They went in knowing full well that they would likely die, and 90 million of these men did. Both times, they came home to a world where women were complaining about their rights (and rightfully so). Let's keep all this in perspective.

Quote:
Liberation has nothing to do with dressing like a street walker it has to do with equality of choice - If our husband is a drunken cheater we can leave because we have the education to support ourselves and don't need to put up with some males crap in order to survive
These girls didn't look like prostitutes, they looked young, classy and sexy. That bothered some other girls who weren't capable of looking that sexy. Liberation is like you said...equality of choice. Nobody was cheating on anybody at this meeting and nobody got a divorce. But if you truly believe that liberation is equality of choice why is that some women don't respect these choices?
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