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  #46  
Old 05-27-11, 05:39 PM
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Re: Update to "Men and Porn" thread

Every 1 loves porn,its so mainstream now.I'll go lezz for ya baby THem child touchers should have there Hotdogs cut off so they are like capons,sick b******s make eunics out of all of em.Study after study shows they cant be rehabiliatated they go out and rape or abuse a child soon after they get back on the streets from out of prison.
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  #47  
Old 05-27-11, 07:23 PM
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Re: Update to "Men and Porn" thread

How can something so good be so bad? Pron, as i like to call it, begins with a man and a woman, but eventually you have multiple people doing mutiple things and even a few goats.
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  #48  
Old 05-29-11, 09:33 AM
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Re: Update to "Men and Porn" thread

I'm still trying to figure out why people think porn ruins a marriage or that its like cheating. That's just silly. If any person male or female uses porn as a replacement for intimacy with their partner to the point that they no longer want that intimacy well then yea its a problem. But men using porn when they can't have sex with their wives for whatever reason seems healthy enough to me. I would rather my husband satisfy his needs that way if I'm sick or not in the mood or whatever then consider cheating or random sex. I try to always be sexually available to him because 1. I enjoy it a lot and 2 this seems to have eliminated the need for porn unless its a couples thing.
I don't care what he watches or looks at because he is married to me. He wants me. He doesn't want a pron star beyond whatever he came make up in his mind as afantasy.
What about men who fantasize they are with another woman while they are having sex with their wives? The wives wouldn't know that because they are not in his head and it certainly isn't cheating. People just need to relax about porn.
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  #49  
Old 05-30-11, 01:56 PM
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Re: Update to "Men and Porn" thread

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
I'm still trying to figure out why people think porn ruins a marriage or that its like cheating. That's just silly. If any person male or female uses porn as a replacement for intimacy with their partner to the point that they no longer want that intimacy well then yea its a problem. But men using porn when they can't have sex with their wives for whatever reason seems healthy enough to me. I would rather my husband satisfy his needs that way if I'm sick or not in the mood or whatever then consider cheating or random sex. I try to always be sexually available to him because 1. I enjoy it a lot and 2 this seems to have eliminated the need for porn unless its a couples thing.
I don't care what he watches or looks at because he is married to me. He wants me. He doesn't want a pron star beyond whatever he came make up in his mind as afantasy.
What about men who fantasize they are with another woman while they are having sex with their wives? The wives wouldn't know that because they are not in his head and it certainly isn't cheating. People just need to relax about porn.
Sarah, the issue isn't about whether porn is bad or not, it is whether too much porn is bad, and it truly is for many ADD men. Granted, if you get rid of it with a magic wand it will quickly be replaced by gambling or whatever else stimulates the guy's dopamine, but the behavior, when compulsive, is a problem in relationships and as well as (often) outside of relationships. Guys and gals with any sort of compulsive behavior have an issue, but the porn one can be very problematic. Women will feel abandoned because the porn does override their partners interest in them because of the dopamine fix porn can give and also the fact that generally, ADHD guys often lose interest in their partner because greater dopamine stimulation comes from constantly different partners. This is quite different from using porn occasionally or as part of a couples fun time.


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  #50  
Old 06-01-11, 10:36 AM
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Re: Update to "Men and Porn" thread

I agree with you about the compulsive aspect. I was reffering more to some others who seemed to say all porn was bad for marriages and I don't agree. I also don't think that men with adhd typically lose interest in their partner couldn't the same be said for women or even regular guys who just get bored? I think some of it can be related to self esteem. If my husband wants to view porn without me so be it. I know he wants me and desires me which is why we are married. Men are visual people at least I think so. Keeping the fires lit with each other also helps too.
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  #51  
Old 06-01-11, 05:02 PM
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Re: Update to "Men and Porn" thread

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
I agree with you about the compulsive aspect. I was reffering more to some others who seemed to say all porn was bad for marriages and I don't agree.
We on da same page girl.

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
I also don't think that men with adhd typically lose interest in their partner couldn't the same be said for women or even regular guys who just get bored?
My understanding is that when guys are easily distracted they often lose the ability to be stimulated visually over time by the same partner. Of course regular guys can get bored but the ability to focus is much much easier for them with sex as it is for any other activity.

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I think some of it can be related to self esteem. If my husband wants to view porn without me so be it. I know he wants me and desires me which is why we are married. Men are visual people at least I think so. Keeping the fires lit with each other also helps too.
I agree 100% with those statements !
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  #52  
Old 06-01-11, 05:31 PM
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Re: Update to "Men and Porn" thread

Well thank god! You just may be the first person who understood me right away! Lol usually I offend someone first
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  #53  
Old 06-01-11, 06:17 PM
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Re: Update to "Men and Porn" thread

To the OP, compulsive viewing of porn is an addiction if it is harmful to your life and in this case it obviously is.

To everyone else-
I watch porn when I'm not in a relationship or sex is not available to me. Most men watch porn. If they don't they make their own in their head. Period. All guys jerk it and if you so you don't then you are either experiencing anhedonia, a religious fanatic, or you lost your junk in Nam.
Men are sexually stimulated by visuals and men are sexually stimulated, well, a lot. Women often aren't into porn or constant sex (what is wrong with you ladies?. This creates a problem because men don't understandstand what the big deal is and women don't get why men would bother looking elsewhere.
Ladies, you're not lacking anything!!!! Your man is; namely you naked, wet and moaning as frequently as possible.
ADHD men are the worst! I watched more porn unmedicated because I could never quite enjoy sex to the fullest off meds (I felt I wasn't fully there, if that makes sense). However, there are many reasons unmedicated ADHD guys watch a lot of porn. Porn is pretty *******' stimulating. But if you watch it too much you get desensitized and need more and more porn and weirder and weirder porn until you have any number of individuals doing all sorts of filthy things. Soon you aren't even turned on, but hey, at least you're not bored!
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  #54  
Old 06-01-11, 09:51 PM
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Re: Update to "Men and Porn" thread

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Well thank god! You just may be the first person who understood me right away! Lol usually I offend someone first
You being from Joisey and all, that is what I expected.
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  #55  
Old 09-05-11, 10:28 AM
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Re: Update to "Men and Porn" thread

Here is my experience. I used to watch/view porn/erotica on the Internet, especially in the mornings before work. I used to have an outrageously difficult time getting up in the morning. I would be so groggy that it could take me 5 minutes just to get my teeth brushed.

As mentioned, porn is pretty stimulating. So, this would "get me going" (literally and figuratively, lol) in the mornings. My meds take about 80-90 minutes to "kick in." I don't view porn when I'm in a relationship. Outside of relationships, I don't view as much porn as I used to overall. But, I do now and then.

I find that in the morning, if I am viewing porn online for example, when my meds kick in I feel the need to get up and do something else. I don't feel a "compulsion" to go be productive in an unhealthy, forced way. Instead, I feel optimistic and I *want* to go do something else. At that point after the meds kick in, I just don't feel the "urge" to get turned on, if you know what I mean. Instead, I turn to healthier activities that can also be stimulating, like going for a bike ride, calling friends or family, or going out and about, or just getting started with my day on the right foot.

This may be, to me, the most clearly observable evidence that the meds are working. If I am overfocusing (on anything, not just porn) when they kick in, they allow me to break that overfocus easily. Meds help me move away from things that I am self-medicating with when I seek stimulation, and they help me move towards my values, such as family, friends, and my hobbies/interests, and find those things stimulating/rewarding...
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  #56  
Old 09-05-11, 10:32 AM
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Re: Update to "Men and Porn" thread

im cutting down on porn. primarily cuz i use my madre's computer now, but also just so i dont get any illusions grandeur or different views of women. but yes, porn is awesome
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Old 09-05-11, 05:10 PM
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Re: Update to "Men and Porn" thread

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Originally Posted by Fima View Post
is porn really addictive?
or its just a shame to watch porn?

I used to be a big fan of zombies,
I spent alot of my free time watching zombie movies, playing zombie games, talking about zombies in forums, writing books about zombies and etc...
do I have a problem?
I don't think anyone would say I do!

but if I change my story little bit, and instead of "zombies" ill write "porn" everyone would say I am addicted...
Whoa, for a minute there I was afraid you were going to say that his problem is nothing compared to yours, but thankfully you stopped at writing books...
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Old 09-05-11, 06:41 PM
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Re: Update to "Men and Porn" thread

Most guys like porn. Most women don't. Most women love buying clothes and shoes. Most men don't. Either taken to the extreme like porn addiction or shopaholics will be destructive. I accept that my wife will always want new clothes and shoes and creams and makeup that I think is a complete waste of money and she accepts that I sometimes watch porn.
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Old 09-05-11, 09:32 PM
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Re: Update to "Men and Porn" thread

i know a few women who dont mind porn. and a few who are very comfortable talking or having sex. i didnt know women could be so sexually enlightened. i know it's mostly due to society's conditioning, but still...it's awesome
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Old 09-06-11, 08:40 AM
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Re: Update to "Men and Porn" thread

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Originally Posted by speculative View Post
At that point after the meds kick in, I just don't feel the "urge" to get turned on, if you know what I mean. Instead, I turn to healthier activities that can also be stimulating, like going for a bike ride, calling friends or family, or going out and about, or just getting started with my day on the right foot.

This may be, to me, the most clearly observable evidence that the meds are working. If I am overfocusing (on anything, not just porn) when they kick in, they allow me to break that overfocus easily. Meds help me move away from things that I am self-medicating with when I seek stimulation, and they help me move towards my values, such as family, friends, and my hobbies/interests, and find those things stimulating/rewarding...
Yeah, that. Exactly.
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