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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

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  #91  
Old 04-27-12, 12:31 AM
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Re: Detaching With Love

yes its better to try much less merging..Life might be difficult with an ADD partner..
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  #92  
Old 10-04-12, 10:16 AM
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Re: Detaching With Love

I want to read this so badly.
JUST canttttttttttttttt
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  #93  
Old 05-02-13, 11:36 PM
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Re: detaching is not like disengaging

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Originally Posted by Ian View Post
Emotional contagion is the tendency to express and feel emotions that are similar to and influenced by those of others. Emotional contagion may be involved in crowd behaviors, like collective fear, rage, or moral panic, but also emotional interactions in smaller groups such as negotiation, teaching and persuasion contexts. It is also the phenomenon when a person (especially a child) appears distressed because another person is distressed, or happy because they are happy.

To date, most clinical research has focused on the effects on non-verbal (and often non-emotional) displays, and relatively less has been studied about the impact of contagion effects on emotional feelings. Emotional contagion and empathy may be related, but the nature of such a connection has not to date been explored either.
Very interesting. I think I may have been confusing empathy and emotional contagion for a very long time. I'm very susceptible to emotional contagion. I wonder how much of that is also due to being a highly sensitive person/gifted/ADD.
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  #94  
Old 05-02-13, 11:57 PM
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Re: detaching is not like disengaging

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Originally Posted by Wisefolly View Post
Very interesting. I think I may have been confusing empathy and emotional contagion for a very long time. I'm very susceptible to emotional contagion. I wonder how much of that is also due to being a highly sensitive person/gifted/ADD.
No doubt there will be a link for some, maybe for many.

Irrespective of being highly sensitive and or other characteristics, the process of detaching with love addresses the issues that arise from such things in my practise.
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  #95  
Old 10-01-13, 08:29 PM
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Re: Detaching With Love

This is awesome. My SO needs to read it. Any time a family member is struggling with self-induced problems (overspending, smoke, drink, ignore doctor's orders), she spends weekend after weekend on the phone, ordering them what to do, telling them it's their own fault and such. She's always right, however these are people 50 to 90 years old - they are not going to change, they'll just keep whining. And my poor SO spends sleepless nights because for some reason, she thinks it's her job to fix them!

The way this article is worded is precisely the delicate and careful kind of writing my SO loves - and I'm not capable of.

Thank you thank you thank you thank you.
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  #96  
Old 10-01-13, 10:42 PM
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Re: Detaching With Love

In my efforts, it matters little whether I need to let go of the behaviour of my SO or something else.

There are a seemingly endless number of ways I can put these principles to work.

It's become a most potent means of teaching, that is, by letting others learn at their own pace and leaving me free to focus on what I can change. Namely me! At least it is when I can grasp the moment and practise!
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  #97  
Old 04-01-14, 10:57 PM
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Thumbs up Re: Detaching With Love

AMAZING. Will read over this everyday when I start feeling weak. This is such a good article for someone like me who is a CODEPENDENT ;-)
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  #98  
Old 07-21-16, 11:04 PM
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Re: Detaching With Love

This is outstanding. And...there's a workbook!

Byron Katie (a woman), wrote a short little book called "The Work". It's extraordinary. 28 pages. Free, online. Search for her name and "The Work".

The name, by the way: "The Work" refers to "doing your own work on yourself" so that you can detach yourself from the need to see others like you/respect you/obey you/be happy you're around, etc.
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Old 09-24-16, 02:35 AM
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Re: Detaching With Love

Fighting for practicing this.
It's easy on easy days.
It's hard on lonely days.
It's hard because I know that he simply doesn't have the emotional maturity to ever practice this.
One way street to become independent and detach. Sometimes it feels like abandoning my family. Mother instinct and all. But for me it is the only way to stay true, clear and in the end genuinely loving.
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