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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

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  #1  
Old 05-10-18, 06:18 AM
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Remembering online identities/people

Hey, I am involved in a few forums online, this one about ADHD and some others that aren't ADHD related. I am in general more active on the other ones, but even there, I find I have a really difficult time remembering who is who online. I tend to sort of just focus on the topics, rather than the person that shared the topic. I feel like other people here on this forum and in the other forums have this great sense of... let's call the person Reed -- what Reed posted last week, what is going on with Reed, who Reed is as a person above and beyond/outside of the post. It just gives me a sense that everyone else memorizes usernames and has a running tally/history of the life/story of each person online and I haven't developed anything like that. I am not opposed to doing this in the least, it's just really hard for me to keep track and doesn't come naturally to me. Anyone else have this experience? I almost find myself embarrassed wondering what other people have pinned together of me since I don't think of myself as managing an identity across time on a forum. It's very much post-by-post. I wonder if I changed my thinking to be more... dare I say, SOCIAL... if that would change? (I don't hardly know what that would mean or look like.) The fact that I don't remember makes me feel selfish or asocial in some way. I actually take a great deal of interest in people!

How easy is it for you to remember internet presences and keep track of peoples' posts?
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Old 05-10-18, 10:35 AM
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Re: Remembering online identities/people

It depends on my level of engagement, of course, but given that, it has to do with the other person’s level of participation, their engagement style, their writing style, what they contribute, my sense of whether they are give-and-take vs. just posting, their degree of self-disclosure, i.e., what they share of their experience of being alive vs. just sharing their (latest) thoughts on a topic of their interest.

It helps if there is direct person-to-person communication.

Nice as a private message.
Better yet as a phone call.
Superb when having lunch together.


Cheers,
Ian
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Old 05-10-18, 01:43 PM
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Re: Remembering online identities/people

If it helps I can't remember peoples names or faces in real life either. I don't know if it's one of my disorders or just that I'm asocial for the most part.

On here I recognize a few regular posters but not what all their posts have been about. I find myself having to reread threads to remember what was said even though I've read it 5 times already. I've only been around for like a week anyway. And even then I remember avatars mostly. If you change your avatar I will become confused.

On the other hand *everyone* in real life remembers me. I have blue hair and 6 facial piercings. They are like "oh hi!" and I am like "who the hell are you?".

(Yes, I look like this and I have a 'real' job, people. Everyone assumes I work in hot topic or some ****. Inevitably, someone always asks what I do.)

I, personally, have no great expectation that you know me or know about me or keep tabs on me. See that made it sound creepy to keep track of us. I just try to keep my posts relevant and helpful/informative if I can.
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Old 05-10-18, 02:31 PM
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Re: Remembering online identities/people

I don't bother to remember who is who on a forum like this. I am mostly interested in picking up useful strategies. I do recognize some names that keep coming up but I haven't made any special effort to memorize them or anything.

And if it helps, I am terrible with names in real life. It doesn't help that everyone remembers me. I don't have blue hair and I have no piercings, but I'm a expat living abroad, in an area with few expats, so I'm very obvious. Even in my homeland, people tend to remember me because the nature and location of my work are rather unusual. I mostly try to remember faces and hope I am not asked to remember their names. Doesn't always work though.
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Old 05-10-18, 03:52 PM
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Re: Remembering online identities/people

I've been on here for 6 years now and don't use any other forums so now I do remember a lot of the regulars, their stories and i feel quite attached to some people.

I don't have any close friends in real life so maybe that makes it easier to be engaged on here.

In real life I'm terrible with both names and faces.

Don't feel embarrassed. We all post a lot of crap and I'm super Embarrassed about regularly sharing and iversharing way too much stuff but almost no one has used it against me or made me feel ashamed.

I don't think you should feel guilty either. Closeness and interest will come with time and you are not obligated to make friends on here or do anything else. If you just want info and support once in a while that's fine and if you want to spend some more time on here and get to know us better that's great as well.
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Old 05-11-18, 12:02 AM
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Re: Remembering online identities/people

Thank you! Really helpful to read. Ya'll are great.
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