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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

 
 
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Old 11-06-09, 02:56 AM
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How to Communicate with Someone Who Has ADD and Doesn't Know It

I need some help either communicating a little better with someone who has ADD, helping her understand that she needs to be more aware of her social interaction, or maybe both. If possible, I would rather deal with just me, as I don't want to work to change someone else, nor do I believe my friend is the type of person who will/can make big changes this late in her life. Some quick backstory:

I am friends with an elderly lady, Teresa, who is a former neighbor of mine. I still speak with her on the phone and visit when I am visiting the area. Mostly I just fix her computer and help with fixing things around the house. Lately, I have been assisting in helping her get her finances in order as she seeking a job, and that's where my need to really communicate clearly with her is becoming a big problem. Or rather, her lack of awareness of her communication is becoming a problem.

Endless tangents, interruptions, sudden changes in the subject of conversation, sharing inappropriate details about others, and roundabout answers, with life-spans that rival most stage monologues, are what almost every conversation I have ever had with her has been comprised of.

I have serious issues with my social communication - I know that. But I always want to be getting better with it, and I really make the effort. As much as Teresa says she is aware of her communication, I must confess that I couldn't disagree more; everything she says and does says the opposite.

I really, really want to be able to communicate with her, but I am not sure how anymore. When we have gone over her taxes or other detailed paperwork, it takes all afternoon and evening when it can easily be done in less than 1-2 hours.

She has mentioned that she has been told by a doctor that she has ADD, but it was in passing, and she has no real idea what it is, not how she would be affected by it. Any suggestions would be much appreciated, not only to help with the given situation, but so that I can learn how to do better on my own too.

Thank you
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