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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

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  #1  
Old 07-01-09, 05:34 PM
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I don't understand feelings. Maybe you can explain??

Hey. I've recently found out that my feelings does not feel like the people around me.
Ok, I now that the sentence above this, does not make that much sense.
Will try to explain.

I had a long talk with an friend about love. About being in love.

She told me how, she could not stop thinking about this guy she was seing, and how she got butterflies when she saw him. How she wanted to be around him all the time and how she wanted to see him all the time.

I've never felt that way. I've liked som girls, but never like that.
I am really good at the first month of a new "relationship", I want to know everything about people. so i on.
But after a while I loose interest, I begin to think a lot about her and sometimes it turns into a little obsession. I don't contact her or look her up (stalk her, NO I DON'T) .

It can go on like this for long periods of time. But I've never felt the way she felt.

Other feelings are a mix.
Feelings of happiness often explodes into some sort of hyperactive happy butterfly, rainbows and kittens mode. But sometimes turns into teasing others, really much and it blocks feelings and often I affend others when I'm happy.

Anger often turns violent, I break a lot of stuff, punch holes in walls, I often ice my hands.

Sadness, does not really exists, I can't recall the last time cried. I get moody and that often turns into anger and being ****ed at things.

Hysterical is how most my friends say I am. Working and something does not go my way. I go from 0 to 200 in a split. But it is over pretty fast.

I hold grudges at some people, but not many.

I hope that i've made my question clear.
Are my feelings long from other peoples feelings?
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Old 07-01-09, 08:18 PM
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Re: I don't understand feelings. Maybe you can explain??

dear doghouse, i know for me emotions are kind of like yours. except dont have the tendency for anger that you do... kind of lack of feeling.. No joy no sorrow no big ups no big downs... Have experienced severe depression in the past thank god it was in the past...i am pretty certain that the mixed up nuerotransmitters that cause us to be adhd affect out emotions but in a way that is different from every individual...I hope as you get help you will be able to sort out your emotions and get to the point that you are enjoying your life!!

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Old 07-02-09, 11:44 PM
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Re: I don't understand feelings. Maybe you can explain??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Doghorse View Post
I've never felt that way. I've liked som girls, but never like that.
I am really good at the first month of a new "relationship", I want to know everything about people. so i on.
But after a while I loose interest, I begin to think a lot about her and sometimes it turns into a little obsession. I don't contact her or look her up (stalk her, NO I DON'T) .
Sounds similar if i can bust the nutshell open a bit.. I'll only speak in reference to myself, though i think i would be a fool to think it doesnt apply to other ADDrs.. I personally have a huge problem with being vulnerable. Makes it hard to make close relationships and keep them.. though these relationships are definitively important to me i just cannot .. submit to them? So for me the intellecualization of the relationship is still important.. but something inside me throws up a defence mechanizm so that i cannot feel the emotional .. um.. i cannot "allow" the emotional freefall to just take its course.. like over extending a muscle during a workout or a tendon.. it recoils.. i recoil...

I_DTour
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Old 07-02-09, 11:57 PM
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Re: I don't understand feelings. Maybe you can explain??

What if we just know that love and such like emotions are the chemicals in our brains flowing down our spin and into our organs?

Maybe this would mean we are not fools for love?Maybe we have been hurt in the past?Maybe we have'nt found the right one?

I do not think i have given any answers here just complicated questions....i'd like to know myself
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Old 07-03-09, 12:19 AM
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Re: I don't understand feelings. Maybe you can explain??



I agree on a certain level.. if i can put it like this (for myself.. ) its like one of those oriental fountains.. .
.

wait.. BETTER YET!@!

The original Donkey Kong! with the barrels rollin down the ramps!

Emotions can flow like water through our organs.. or like barrels down the ramps.. but depending on learned defensive traits, we might change how those ramps re-direct those barrels.. or how that fountain redirects the water through ourselves..
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Old 07-08-09, 02:01 AM
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Re: I don't understand feelings. Maybe you can explain??

Shifting moods? Anger? Grudges? Tells me that the world isn't 100% of the problem. Punching things? Do you do this with anyone can hear or see? If so, you're doing it to bother them. So stop. Butterfly period of the day - you're okay. Start feeling bad, who in your life incurs damage? Sounds like you don't like feeling bad. Are you afraid to feel bad? If so and you can't do anything but get angry and maybe intimidate, then you need to see a professional for intervention.
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Old 07-08-09, 12:21 PM
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Re: I don't understand feelings. Maybe you can explain??

After reading the last two posts....I have put 2+2=a memory inter-woven moment of clarity;

10 years ago a young lady I felt 'the love' the first time .....in every sense of the wording this young lady angered me with hurtful non-understanding comments which I did not reply to.Instead I jumped up and punched a wall,like,it was tissue paper-OUCH! Being a plasterer I should not have done this....for the mind and for the pain!
So promised myself never to punch anything non-moving again....
I tried my best to follow this through with great success.....even managed to not hit people,unless there were extreme cicumstances.

Last year I broke my hand punching someone....I know I should'nt have done this,but extreme circumstance!I have promised myself not to punch anything living again-and have been tested to the extreme on this since....I felt a great change in my mind.

Too complicated and too much of a long story to get into and explain fully.but I now have to find another last resort for these circumstances and wild emotions that I can never seem to communicate to others....'oh he likes fighting!'

NO I DO NOT~
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Old 09-08-10, 11:42 PM
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Re: I don't understand feelings. Maybe you can explain??

Hi Doghorse

About falling in love, there are different kinds. I don't think the internal feelings matter as much for serious relationships as the compatibility stuff. For example, do you build each other up? Does she care about your career/school? Do you about yours. What makes a rationship interesting is actually working together to build something caring about each others lives rather than looking for butterflies.

About your temper, I think, you have to learn not to express it in destructive ways. Take sports, draw, ANYTHING but hitting things or people, take walks, ... THAT, should be your MAIN concern. A bad uncontrolled tempter can screw up job opportunies, lose friends and good lovers.
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Old 09-08-10, 11:46 PM
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Re: I don't understand feelings. Maybe you can explain??

Just saying if you have trouble understanding feelings it is possible that you may have mild Autistic tendencies. Maybe get it checked out and get some relief. There is nothing like being in LOVE. I crave that feeling and sex can't touch it. I love all the yearning and longing like I'm gonna die just to see her again.
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Old 09-09-10, 02:28 AM
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Re: I don't understand feelings. Maybe you can explain??

Ummm...... The OP is over a year old.

Just sayin...
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Old 10-18-10, 04:19 AM
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Re: I don't understand feelings. Maybe you can explain??

Have you seen a psychologist to talk about depression?
That whole numb feeling is a pretty standard depression issue, and in men depression is more often expressed as anger than sadness.
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Old 10-21-10, 07:14 PM
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Re: I don't understand feelings. Maybe you can explain??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Impromptu_DTour View Post
Sounds similar if i can bust the nutshell open a bit.. I'll only speak in reference to myself, though i think i would be a fool to think it doesnt apply to other ADDrs.. I personally have a huge problem with being vulnerable. Makes it hard to make close relationships and keep them.. though these relationships are definitively important to me i just cannot .. submit to them? So for me the intellecualization of the relationship is still important.. but something inside me throws up a defence mechanizm so that i cannot feel the emotional .. um.. i cannot "allow" the emotional freefall to just take its course.. like over extending a muscle during a workout or a tendon.. it recoils.. i recoil...

I_DTour
I don't mean for this to come off as strange. But soon as you said "Throw up a defense machanism so you cannot feel emotional" I started to tear up at my desk here at work.

I've never seen this hit home as much as what other people do. I can never fully get close to anyone. Whenever it does seem to get closer to the point where I may feel pain from opening up, I avoid questions like no other...

Whenever I'm experiencing those situations, I either have a nervous laugh or my mind is completely blank. As if my subconscience is making sure that I don't go any further or to evade the situation.

You're right. It makes getting close a problem. In all honesty, the ones that I do end up getting close to...I do not get the urge that I would "sacrifice my life for them," type of feeling.

In the end, I would be able to walk away without any sore emotions (which I think in the end that emotions cripple the entire human race, now if we were all logic-based we might progress as a whole)...

As for the OP... I have never experienced anything more than infatuation. I personally think that my depression has crippled any such feelings like that.
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