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  #196  
Old 06-16-10, 02:58 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishrose79 View Post
Love these, love these, love these

I have an NT friend who like to play "six degrees of ADD" when her ADD husband and I have a long conversation. She writes down all of our topics in the order they were discussed, and then tries to go back and figure out the unspoken leaps of logic we make between topics. It's interesting to watch her try and figure out what makes perfect sense
to him and me, and she swears it helps her understand him better.
This is awesome! I would love an NT do this for me and an ADD friend. The closest experience I've had is my NT roommate in college would write down an outline to my papers while listening to me rant about the subject I chose.
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  #197  
Old 06-16-10, 03:57 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

I wrote down what i was thinking during peoples discussions before.....was enourmous variety and nothing on topic...to much detail,which i find hard to repeat.

The connections are very interesting,sometimes i think we have our own language....seriously!

This is why the switch board talk thingy should be fixed,we know the detail and get on with the details
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  #198  
Old 06-16-10, 05:13 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishrose79 View Post

Don't take offense if I drop out sight for a few days, or don't answer the phone or call you back right away. Every once in a while I get overwhelmed, and over simulated. I need quiet time to let myself fall apart in private and then put the pieces back together. I don't like anyone, even those closest to me, to see this. There's nothing you can do to fix it, or make it better. Don't try to tell me it's unhealthy, it's how I cope And it works for me. If it's emergency, call me, let the phone ring three times, hang up, wait ten seconds and call again. If you take advantage of the double ring, we are going to have serious problems.
Thank you so much this describes the unmedicated me to a T.
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  #199  
Old 06-16-10, 06:10 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Don't: Sit in front of many people and complain with attitude about my "laziness" and "sloppiness." Don't get all sarcastic saying "I'd clean my desk if there were ten dollars in it somewhere." It's not funny, you obviously don't understand my way of life. I understand you're obsessive about being spotless with cleaning, but just leave me alone about my room.

Don't: When I tell you about my day, or what I did last night/week, or how I did something for someone, keep it between us. The next time I'm with you and we're talking to someone, whether a neighbor or a friend or whatever, don't keep saying "Tell her what you did last night, or tell her what you did for so and so....COME OONNNNN...Tell her." Please don't. It makes me very mad and I don't want to have to think about how to say it. It's also quite embarrassing.
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  #200  
Old 06-17-10, 03:24 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

do remember this.........

i will probably be the slowest person in the room to acknowlage the task... the first week will seem like im lagging behind, but once im familier and comfortable with it, i will probably excell fastest and highest than anyone in the class. i honestly dont mean this in arrogance
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  #201  
Old 06-18-10, 02:58 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

This may have been mentioned hundreds of times, but since I didn't have patience to read through 14 pages, I thought I would go ahead and throw it out there....possibly again

Just because I am doing something else (playing with my phone, examining a weird spot I just saw on the rug, etc) while you are talking to me, doesn't mean I am not listening to you. I promise! In some instances, it makes me hear you better.
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  #202  
Old 06-18-10, 03:57 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Don't:
- Assume that because of my ADD, I am stupid. I am far from - in fact, I am quite intelligent, but I just display my intelligence in a different manner than yours. Your brain works differently than mine, please understand that.
- Expect me to be able to keep up with your kind of pace or schedule regarding work. What takes you ten minutes to do might take me an hour, and vice versa. Just because I don't finish or turn in a certain amount of work doesn't mean I'm not trying my hardest - I AM, and I would like to be acknowledged for my accomplishments rather than what I am lacking. I don't work at your pace, I work at mine.
- Interrupt me while I'm talking. I know I may do this to you, and I really do apologize - when I have something to say or an idea that I think is brilliant pops into my mind, I have to share it with you as soon as it comes to me for fear of forgetting it. It's really difficult to get back onto my train of thought after you say yours in the middle of mine.
- Criticize the degree of disorganization of my living space. To you, it's a jumbled mess that you couldn't ever imagine living in...To me, it's a comfortable living space that's organized in such a way that it accommodates me and my needs. Everything has it's place and I know where it is.
- Criticize me for being socially anxious. I know what people think about Attention Deficit Disorder and I know how people perceive others with it. I don't like being judged and I fear being judged by others, especially those that I do not know or am not familiar with, and I don't want to be persecuted for my random comments or the way I seem to entertain five topics of conversation at once. I see the looks and hear the comments you make about it and it actually does hurt my feelings and make me more self-conscious.
- Try to force me to be attentive. If that were simply the trick, we would have figured it out by now. It's just annoying and frustrating, and won't get anything done - it's quite counter-productive, actually.
- Try to follow every train of thought I skip around to. What makes perfect sense to me and what flows well to me probably seems like absolute random rubbish that I just up and threw together. I promise there is a common link between it all, I just don't seem to find it important enough to explain each time.
- Comment negatively on my random remarks or the quirky things I say. They're just bits of information I seem to have found quite interesting and worth sharing with you. Smile because you've learned something new.
- Expect all of my symptoms to magically disappear when I'm medicated. The medication is not a cure-all, it just helps me MANAGE the symptoms more easily and makes dealing with my ADD a lot easier.
- Criticize me for being medicated. I understand your opinions are your own, and I respect that so long as you don't try to force them down my throat. I don't care what extensive research you've done on Google, I have first-hand experience and professionals behind me. I'm a bit more qualified on the subject than you are, thanks.
- Interrupt me while I'm on a study or work kick. When I'm able to spend a few consecutive hours working or studying without getting up multiple times when un-necessary, or when I'm able to stay on task without opening up five other tabs and "multi-tasking", that is a victory in all ways to me and it makes me feel quite good about myself to know I can do it. Please don't consciously take me away from my task at hand if you see me hard at work. I girl-scout promise I will make time for you as soon as I finish up what I'm currently working on or studying.
- Think that I'm purposefully ignoring your requests or being defiant towards you. If you ask me to do something and I tell you I'll do it in a minute, I really do mean it - it's that I often times forget what you originally asked me to do altogether and I don't remember it until it's too late.
- Give me strange looks if I mean to go and fold the laundry but somehow end up in the kitchen looking through the cabinets. SOME train of thought brought me there, but I can't seem to remember what it was. It'll probably come back to me later in an "a-ha!" moment.

DO:
- Be understanding
- Supportive
- Considerate
- Respectful
- Tolerant
- Helpful

...And I will certainly do all I can to make sure that I do the same!
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  #203  
Old 06-18-10, 06:37 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Sorry for being rude but, hay why do I have to be sorry. You know the deal!

I didn't read all the posts. got about halfway through post 12 and got board (bet you didn't see that one coming). Grate, love the list.
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  #204  
Old 06-18-10, 09:39 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Stand Back! Give me some space. I can hardly think. wtf did u say. Sorry I can't right now. What that's not gonna cut it. Well what are we gonna do.
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  #205  
Old 06-19-10, 12:33 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Please quit telling me to believe that I am so abnormal. Scientific proof lends credence that YOU are abnormal.

I'm hyper/impulsive. Sometimes I break things. I am not only sorry but will beat myself to shreds for it.

Is there a "GET OVER IT" button???
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  #206  
Old 06-19-10, 12:09 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Tell me what to do but dont tell me how to do it,and vice versa,now live with that!

Well you cant,thats because i cant,so you tell me what to do,but dont tell me nothing-got it!?!

NO?
Neither do-i
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  #207  
Old 06-19-10, 02:53 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Quote:
Originally Posted by DeLL View Post
My wife still doesn't understand that I hold my pee until the last second because I've either forgotten I had to pee or I had to many "important" things going on around me to waste my time whizzing.
sometimes i go up the stairs and forget why, then go back up only to realise i forgot,,then i remeber that i needed the toilet.
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  #208  
Old 06-19-10, 03:41 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Don't tell me you wish you had my energy, I assure you that you don't want the crap that comes with it.
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  #209  
Old 06-19-10, 07:10 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

awesome thread.

here's one..

don't tell me i'm just creative or eccentric and don't have adhd. that one is more frustrating than anything and quite hurtful. i'm old enough and smart enough to know the difference don't you realize that?
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  #210  
Old 06-19-10, 09:26 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Quote:
Originally Posted by k31kozumi View Post
awesome thread.

here's one..

don't tell me i'm just creative or eccentric and don't have adhd. that one is more frustrating than anything and quite hurtful. i'm old enough and smart enough to know the difference don't you realize that?
Agreed! As well as that, if you're a "mental health professional" and you've talked to me for a total of ten minutes, don't try to tell me that I'm not ADD/ADHD. I've spent all of my life in this body and I know what I'm like and who I am. Also, don't try to diagnose me as "Bipolar" if I don't show any other symptoms - just because I may be hyperactive doesn't mean I'm "manic". That is also hurtful and I don't appreciate your un-thorough assessment (Not that ADD/ADHD can't co-exist with Bipolar of course, but I found it frustrating when this happened to me).
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