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  #1  
Old 06-13-14, 09:33 PM
scarybrat22 scarybrat22 is offline
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Keep Getting Fired, 4 Jobs This Year Alone

In short, my life has been steadily unraveling since 2012 and I feel powerless to stop it.

My problem is two pronged, the job I held for 8 years, that I was good at, I am no longer good at. I am outmoded, no longer qualified.

I have problems learning new skills; I am a slow learner. This is not conducive to new job success. They want you to know it and know it now. Employers these days have no patience.

In 2013 alone I held 5 jobs. I was fired from 3 out of the 5.

This year I have held 4 jobs. So far I have been fired from 3.

I tend to do poorly in fast paced high stress environments, so call center customer service type jobs are out.

I worked as an office manager for 8 years, but quite honestly I am not an office manager type person, not a numbers person. I do very poorly beyond basic math. The only reason why I survived was the accounting program. You didn't really have to understand much to get it. That and we had tech support that helped me in the rough spots.

Since then I have been in and out of jobs. I have a degree in communication, but I didn't utilize properly. Focused on the wrong things. At one point I was a decent writer. Now a days not so much. You either use it or lose it and I have definitely lost it.

Since losing my long term job the only job I have worked with success is retail as a cashier, which I hate.

I have tried collections type work, think, RENT to OWN furniture. Besides having trouble learning the computer program, it was DOS, I seem to have fine motor skill problems. In other words, I can't do two things at once. I have a hard time following along, someone will point something out to me and I won't see it.

That and having to call and harass the same person and all of their relatives gave me panic attacks. I have a real hard time dealing with confrontation, screaming mean people, I just can't do it.

The job I was good at, working in an office type situation. I now fail miserably at. It was always a struggle. I probably spent 80 percent of my working time trying to keep myself organized. But for whatever reason I somehow made it work. Now nothing is working.

More and more I seem to have trouble processing information. Learning new skills. I tend to ask the same questions over and over. Unless it is a and b equals c I have trouble with it

That and I have poor handwriting. I don't know why, but I have trouble keeping up when I need to take notes. I don't always remember it being this way. I can't write neatly and take adequate notes at the same time. It is like my brain and my hands are not in sync,

I tend to lose the jobs for the following:

You are not a good fit.

You have poor handwriting.

Inability to keep up.

Inability to focus.

Not being analytical enough (translation, not smart)

The job before last was too fast paced. They also hated my handwriting. I offered to type things to no avail.

This job I lost yesterday, again with the handwriting, not being able to look people in the eye, the assumption I was not on top of things, and that I seemed to have trouble catching on to things. They also didn't want someone they had to explain things to. That and they didn't take into account my lack of a true accounting background. I was there for all of 8 days before they let me go.

I was so hopeful because this was a small office, with no people coming in and out.

I am 41, about 20 thousands dollars in credit card debt. A good deal o the debt was 2012, but it has exploded over the last year and a half due to my not being able to keep a job.That;s not counting a mtg, car loan, student loan (on hold because I can't afford to pay it), regular bills, on and on. Meanwhile I have no retirement savings no nothing.

Basically I feel lost and behind. The last two jobs I lost in the space of A MONTH! If I can't keep a job beyond retail I have no hope of paying of my debt. I feel my only option at this point is bankruptcy, and I don;t want to do that. I don't dare tell my mom how bad things are. The debt makes me feel so ashamed.

And no, I am not meds, not officially diagnosed, which probably doesn't help. I am pretty sure I am a combo of ADHD/Anxiety....
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  #2  
Old 06-14-14, 01:03 AM
MarkAfterDark MarkAfterDark is offline
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Re: Keep Getting Fired, 4 Jobs This Year Alone

Well, if you get an official diagnosis, you may be able to take advantage of the American's with disabilities act. That will give you some legal recourse.
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Old 06-14-14, 01:59 AM
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Re: Keep Getting Fired, 4 Jobs This Year Alone

I also strongly reccommend you get a diagnosis.

I'm 49 now, and it seems like my ADD-I has gotten worse with age. It's definitely helpful to get diagnosed, really!
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Old 06-14-14, 06:48 AM
scarybrat22 scarybrat22 is offline
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Re: Keep Getting Fired, 4 Jobs This Year Alone

Where would I even start? I don't have health insurance. It has been catch as catch can with my bills. I rely on roommates to get by, and my roommate is leaving at end of the month. So far NO offers either. I have been posting on CL's to no avail. I think it is because it is the start of summer, heavy listings right now, and a college town, everyone is gone for the summer. That and being a lady with three cats. Most people I hate them. I pet sit for people on the side. If I had my druthers, I would pet sit for a living in a heartbeat, but I have so much side debt in the way of credit cards, I don't think it is a viable for me to do full time. Not steady enough and the taxes you have to pay to be self employed will eat you alive.

My only doctor is medac. Can they diagnose?

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I also strongly reccommend you get a diagnosis.

I'm 49 now, and it seems like my ADD-I has gotten worse with age. It's definitely helpful to get diagnosed, really!
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Old 06-14-14, 08:48 AM
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Re: Keep Getting Fired, 4 Jobs This Year Alone

I'm sorry but the first thing I thought when I read the title was "You got 4 jobs this year alone!? That's AWESOME!"
Many people really struggle to get one, especially these days.

So you've had 9 jobs since 2013? You are REALLY good at getting jobs. Have you thought about sales or something similar? Marketing or public relations maybe. Sounds like you should be using those great communication skills.
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Old 06-14-14, 09:14 AM
scarybrat22 scarybrat22 is offline
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Re: Keep Getting Fired, 4 Jobs This Year Alone

I am really good at getting jobs, no doubt. My fear is, this being a small town, eventually someone is going to figure out that I am fudging my resume. I just don't mention all the short term jobs, and pray no one catches on or knows someone that hired and fired me.

Public relations, I screwed up. Not sure if anyone would hire me at this point,, 14 years out of college, 41 years old and no real PR experience.

I should have gone and done something with my life, instead of settling for the so called safe job and getting myself into massive debt.

I have a cousin who is an up and coming Christian women's speaker/writer. She has actually been on the Today show, etc. Can't say I am not jealous, can't say my life isn't my own darn fault. She isn't the only writer in the family. I had a college professor tell me once that I had "it."

Not so sure I have it now. While I still have quite the imagination, I have major trouble with deciding on verb tenses etc. I never quite stopped writing, but it was always here and there. I keep most of my writing to myself. With my family being all conservatives, I am not quite sure how they would take it.

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Originally Posted by DistractedLemur View Post
I'm sorry but the first thing I thought when I read the title was "You got 4 jobs this year alone!? That's AWESOME!"
Many people really struggle to get one, especially these days.

So you've had 9 jobs since 2013? You are REALLY good at getting jobs. Have you thought about sales or something similar? Marketing or public relations maybe. Sounds like you should be using those great communication skills.
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Old 06-14-14, 09:31 AM
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Cool Re: Keep Getting Fired, 4 Jobs This Year Alone

Quote:
Originally Posted by scarybrat22 View Post

not being able to look people in the eye,

I don't dare tell my mom how bad things are. The debt makes me feel so ashamed.

And no, I am not meds, not officially diagnosed, which probably doesn't help. I am pretty sure I am a combo of ADHD/Anxiety....
I've read your whole post. It's very brave of you to come here and tell us your story. In your situation, feeling embarrassed and ashamed is what we would all feel. Please know you are amongst friends.

I'm going out on a limb here. It sounds to me as though you may be high functioning Aspergers with co-morbid ADHD. The dead giveaway, for me, is the inability to look people in the eye. That's not an ADD symptom. It IS a classic Aspergers symptom.

You are articulate in writing, and clearly intelligent, but your difficulties are in managing day-to-day life. Again, classic Aspergers. If you haven't yet read John Robison's "Look Me In The Eye", please do so. Now. It should be in your local library.

Scary as it may be, you need to tell your Mum what's going on. She'll perhaps lose her block as a first reaction, but she can help you get the help you are asking us for. You need a proper diagnosis and meds and support systems to help you function.


When undiagnosed mental dysfunction is in play, our coping mechanisms fizzle out by about age 40. You've done a fantastic job to manage as well as you have until ... well ... recently. Being a high functioning person with any kind of mental disorder means you can mask the symptoms for decades longer than other people with the same disorder. But it also means that potentially the wreckage in your life is much worse because you've been valiantly trying to keep your **** together on your own for way too long.

Please tell your Mum now. Please make an appointment with a doctor, any doctor, and ask them to screen for Asperbergers. Print off your original post and take it with you to your appointment. You're very articulate in writing, clearly not so in face-to-face communication.

You've put up your hand and asked for help. You're on the right track, but quite honestly, we can't get you out of the jam you're in. It's time to stop hoping it will all fix itself. Tell your Mum. If you really can't tell your Mum, tell a real life friend or another family member. Or someone at your church. And make a doctors appointment.

Let us know how things go. Cheers
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  #8  
Old 06-14-14, 09:59 AM
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Re: Keep Getting Fired, 4 Jobs This Year Alone

Thank you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MADD As A Hatte View Post
I've read your whole post. It's very brave of you to come here and tell us your story. In your situation, feeling embarrassed and ashamed is what we would all feel. Please know you are amongst friends.

I'm going out on a limb here. It sounds to me as though you may be high functioning Aspergers with co-morbid ADHD. The dead giveaway, for me, is the inability to look people in the eye. That's not an ADD symptom. It IS a classic Aspergers symptom.

You are articulate in writing, and clearly intelligent, but your difficulties are in managing day-to-day life. Again, classic Aspergers. If you haven't yet read John Robison's "Look Me In The Eye", please do so. Now. It should be in your local library.

Scary as it may be, you need to tell your Mum what's going on. She'll perhaps lose her block as a first reaction, but she can help you get the help you are asking us for. You need a proper diagnosis and meds and support systems to help you function.


When undiagnosed mental dysfunction is in play, our coping mechanisms fizzle out by about age 40. You've done a fantastic job to manage as well as you have until ... well ... recently. Being a high functioning person with any kind of mental disorder means you can mask the symptoms for decades longer than other people with the same disorder. But it also means that potentially the wreckage in your life is much worse because you've been valiantly trying to keep your **** together on your own for way too long.

Please tell your Mum now. Please make an appointment with a doctor, any doctor, and ask them to screen for Asperbergers. Print off your original post and take it with you to your appointment. You're very articulate in writing, clearly not so in face-to-face communication.

You've put up your hand and asked for help. You're on the right track, but quite honestly, we can't get you out of the jam you're in. It's time to stop hoping it will all fix itself. Tell your Mum. If you really can't tell your Mum, tell a real life friend or another family member. Or someone at your church. And make a doctors appointment.

Let us know how things go. Cheers
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Old 06-14-14, 11:37 AM
jman05 jman05 is offline
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Re: Keep Getting Fired, 4 Jobs This Year Alone

Quote:
Originally Posted by MADD As A Hatte View Post
I've read your whole post. It's very brave of you to come here and tell us your story. In your situation, feeling embarrassed and ashamed is what we would all feel. Please know you are amongst friends.

I'm going out on a limb here. It sounds to me as though you may be high functioning Aspergers with co-morbid ADHD. The dead giveaway, for me, is the inability to look people in the eye. That's not an ADD symptom. It IS a classic Aspergers symptom.

You are articulate in writing, and clearly intelligent, but your difficulties are in managing day-to-day life. Again, classic Aspergers. If you haven't yet read John Robison's "Look Me In The Eye", please do so. Now. It should be in your local library.

Scary as it may be, you need to tell your Mum what's going on. She'll perhaps lose her block as a first reaction, but she can help you get the help you are asking us for. You need a proper diagnosis and meds and support systems to help you function.


When undiagnosed mental dysfunction is in play, our coping mechanisms fizzle out by about age 40. You've done a fantastic job to manage as well as you have until ... well ... recently. Being a high functioning person with any kind of mental disorder means you can mask the symptoms for decades longer than other people with the same disorder. But it also means that potentially the wreckage in your life is much worse because you've been valiantly trying to keep your **** together on your own for way too long.

Please tell your Mum now. Please make an appointment with a doctor, any doctor, and ask them to screen for Asperbergers. Print off your original post and take it with you to your appointment. You're very articulate in writing, clearly not so in face-to-face communication.

You've put up your hand and asked for help. You're on the right track, but quite honestly, we can't get you out of the jam you're in. It's time to stop hoping it will all fix itself. Tell your Mum. If you really can't tell your Mum, tell a real life friend or another family member. Or someone at your church. And make a doctors appointment.

Let us know how things go. Cheers
I sometimes find it difficult to look people in the eyes. Lack of confidence because of add causes it. I also have trouble focusing on looking at them and listening at the same time if that makes sense.
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Old 06-14-14, 11:59 AM
scarybrat22 scarybrat22 is offline
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Re: Keep Getting Fired, 4 Jobs This Year Alone

Makes perfect sense. I am listening though I sometimes to have ask for info twice, because I miss either the first or last part of the information.

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I sometimes find it difficult to look people in the eyes. Lack of confidence because of add causes it. I also have trouble focusing on looking at them and listening at the same time if that makes sense.
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Old 06-14-14, 12:30 PM
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Re: Keep Getting Fired, 4 Jobs This Year Alone

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Originally Posted by scarybrat22 View Post
Where would I even start? I don't have health insurance. It has been catch as catch can with my bills. I rely on roommates to get by, and my roommate is leaving at end of the month. So far NO offers either. I have been posting on CL's to no avail. I think it is because it is the start of summer, heavy listings right now, and a college town, everyone is gone for the summer.

That and being a lady with three cats. Most people I hate them. I pet sit for people on the side. If I had my druthers, I would pet sit for a living in a heartbeat, but I have so much side debt in the way of credit cards, I don't think it is a viable for me to do full time. Not steady enough and the taxes you have to pay to be self employed will eat you alive.

My only doctor is medac. Can they diagnose?
Quote:
Originally Posted by scarybrat22 View Post
I am really good at getting jobs, no doubt. My fear is, this being a small town, eventually someone is going to figure out that I am fudging my resume. I just don't mention all the short term jobs, and pray no one catches on or knows someone that hired and fired me.

Public relations, I screwed up. Not sure if anyone would hire me at this point,, 14 years out of college, 41 years old and no real PR experience.

I should have gone and done something with my life, instead of settling for the so called safe job and getting myself into massive debt.

I have a cousin who is an up and coming Christian women's speaker/writer. She has actually been on the Today show, etc. Can't say I am not jealous, can't say my life isn't my own darn fault. She isn't the only writer in the family. I had a college professor tell me once that I had "it."

Not so sure I have it now. While I still have quite the imagination, I have major trouble with deciding on verb tenses etc. I never quite stopped writing, but it was always here and there. I keep most of my writing to myself. With my family being all conservatives, I am not quite sure how they would take it.

Actually asking for help as suggested above is a good idea

I find my life is a strange assortment and I tend to end up working places I feel I never should - My present job is part time and of all the things I am expected to do is time management - which isn't an ADD strong suite and scheduling appointments according to location which isn't a dyslexic strong suite writing isn't either = I was floored by my past evaluation which my loud voice in the office was sighted as the thing I needed to work on most. They do understand I spend a lot of my day talking to the hard of hearing and my other job I am talking over heavy equipment and people wearing protective ear devices. I told them I wasn't aware when I was to loud but I do not get offended when others let me know I am - This is a life long problem so I have learned to allow this type of external correction without taking offense - I introduced them to the hand signals one of the docs I used to work for years ago used to let me know I was speaking to loud


I was always taught to look to my strengths and avoid my weakness but for some odd reason my current job plays right into my weakness but it is only part time most of the time (past two weeks it has been full time but that is only temporary thankfully) - My point life is not obligated to follow our social predetermined rules, making it work often means bending those rules yourself - nothing illegal but doing that which should not work can actually work - Don't ask me how or why it is just my experience that some times things happen that way.


Now to your dilemma a few things strike me here

Ever consider trying for two part time jobs or multiple part time jobs as opposed to a single job? You are good at getting them but not holding to them - Part timers and temp workers are not held to the same standards as full time regular employers. IN my part time nursing job I am the one who works out in the sticks because I live in the sticks so my employer saves money on mileages - They can expand their home health service area to include the sticks without having to pay people to drive from the big city Other nurses like me because I save them from getting lost in the grandit fill hill sides where GPS systems tend to suggest people drive into lakes and onto non-existent roads - The rocks that makeup our hills some how throw off the satlights -

When I work in town it is to cover for vacations or sick time - they are thankful not to pay other nurses over time to cover paid time off - See what I mean - Yes I have to do a good job but I fill a niche thus saving the company money I am part time and do fill in work so the standards are some what less stringent for me

- Now I am one who can fly by the seat of my pants and can handle what I call people christmas - I never know what I am walking into, this plays into an ADD weakness - novelty seeking.


- One of my jobs is self employment I do recycling with my husband Your right the self employment taxes are a biatch - I use my part time home health nursing job to off set the self employment taxes created by our recycling business by filing my w-4s under married but with holding at a higher single rate - This off sets my self employment taxes to a tolerable level that doesn't eat up all my profits and most importantly it is legal.


You could pet sit around another part time job or free lance write under an assumed name instead of your real name that way your family's "conservative values" won't be bruised as that seems to be of importance to you.


Mix and match - no one said a resume I wrote half drunk would be the one to land me a job but that is how it happened - I was the only fork lift heavy equipment driving nurse who applied. . .

I got sick of doing things by the book so I tossed the damn book out the window and decided to be me with a few modifications to make me appear "house broken". It took me a lot longer to find a job the road has been less than easy but in the end the waiting to get the right job for my life thus rendering it most challenging but slightly less unmanageable but hey I can a least afford cat food -----> Cat food in my house is twice as much of the budget as people food.
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  #12  
Old 06-14-14, 05:53 PM
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Re: Keep Getting Fired, 4 Jobs This Year Alone

Actually I pet sit part-time already. I had tried working two jobs before and they basically wouldn't work with me. I had been working as a cashier, the hours stunk, but I was somewhat able to pay my bills. I quit that at the chance to make more money back in my old office environment. I wish I hadn't now. Once you quit you have to wait six months to reapply. I was getting full time too. Most places don't work you full time these days.

I talked to my mom. She wants me to sell my house and come home. That isn't an option for me because a. I would still owe money on the house (took out a horrid special loan when times were better, wish I hadn't), b. I would have to give away my cats (she is allergic, they would have to go outside and they would never survive), c. I would wind up sharing a bedroom with her. There is only two bedrooms and my niece occupies one. I need my space!

I didn't tell her about the cc debt. I just can't do it. She wouldn't definitely demand that I come home.

I have thought seriously about bankruptcy, so I could possibly keep my house. But you have to show you can make the payments. That and it would undoubtably destroy my chances of employment. I need a job, a job I can do. And a roommate this week. I am not behind on anything yet. I actually have a job interview on Monday, but it is a collections, loan shark type of job. The kind I have failed miserably at before.

I applied for a work at home job. Legit! Has anyone here had better success working from home, remotely?
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Old 06-14-14, 08:37 PM
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Re: Keep Getting Fired, 4 Jobs This Year Alone

fyi,

We're (ADHD Adults) 7x's more likely to be fired (or change jobs), w/o medication; when

compared to our same gender / same age, non-ADHD peers.

I wish you all the best, and am glad you found us. Good Luck.

tc

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Old 06-14-14, 08:58 PM
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Re: Keep Getting Fired, 4 Jobs This Year Alone

Thank you. I posted another response before this, but it hasn't show up yet.
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Old 06-15-14, 01:25 PM
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Re: Keep Getting Fired, 4 Jobs This Year Alone

Make a list of what you didn't like about the jobs you had. Was it the boss, the work itself, or the company/culture? Then, you'll be able to know what to stay away from.

What are you passionate about? Make a list of five things that you're passionate about and see what type of careers/jobs you might be a good fit for. I think it's about finding your passion and finding a job that fits your skill set.

If you're just going from job to job and not learning about the impact, the pattern will keep repeating. When I've been in awful work situations, I had to learn/write down what was bad or difficult about those situations. For instance, I'm not a 9 to 5 person. I don't want to be around people all day, but I like some interaction with people.
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