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  #316  
Old 10-12-18, 10:29 PM
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Re: Support Group Fireside chat!!!!

Bit chilly, but typical October weather. Itís currently 31f, -1c. Leaves turning, falling and cozy sweater weather.
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  #317  
Old 10-13-18, 01:35 AM
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Re: Support Group Fireside chat!!!!

I'm suppose to be working on landing a job atm.
I know where I want to work, and I have a very strong feeling I'll land the job...and not only that, but I'm getting help from a lady who worked there for over 10 years...and she also thinks I'll be able to work things out where I'm working less than 20 hours a week initially till I feel ready for more hours if I wish...

And yet I'm not. I was going to go pick up an application last week (or the week before?)...but I didn't.

I'm falling short on so many things right now. I call them simple/small things...though I know they're really not. Just not sure what else to call them.
-Keeping up with appointments...setting them up and showing up, and keeping up with all the damned phone calls that go along with it.
-My hygene...I make sure I don't stink, and I do shower ever day...but I only ever just rinse myself off...I don't use much soap.
-Laundry
-Keeping my apartment clean/picked up
-Groccery shopping
-My medications (taking them as I'm suppose to...and ordering them/picking them up)
-Eating proper
-My health
-My sleep
....on and on and on...

All the basic things in life. I'm falling short in so many ways and I feel so sluggish.
So that when it comes to making a huge change...I just don't feel ready! It's like I can't even take care of all the simple stuff in my life right now...I'm already overwhelmed...I just don't think I'm quite ready for a giant step.

Damn the extra income would be amazing though.

The only person I'm getting a lot of pressure from...besides myself...is a case manager I recently fired. He keeps trying to rush me into it...My success is his success and he's got a very large ego and wants me to be amazing so he can go to his boss and show how amazing of a job he's doing.
Holy hell I don't like him.

Should I just relax? Take things a day at a time? I've got quite a lot on my plate atm I'm trying to keep up with. Plus I'm still getting over a cold I had last week (I can NOT get enough sleep!)...and I think I'm starting to dip into a depression...I'm quite upset with my case manager, and a group he co-facilitates (the group is turning into a chaotic joke and it really sucks cause there for awhile it was great and focused and a lot got accomplished).

Or do you think I should push myself?
It could very well be just what I need to get myself out of this funk I'm in.
Plus I'm the kind of person who will settle for long periods of time. I'm afraid if I wait too long...it'll never happen.

Sorry for the long post.
Just talking TYPING (lol) out loud.

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  #318  
Old 10-13-18, 01:45 AM
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Re: Support Group Fireside chat!!!!

Also...this job isn't going anywhere. It's working with adults with developmental disabilities...those who need extra support and can't live on their own. They live in different group homes.
There's a huge turn over rate unfortunately. People are always quitting...so there's a constant need for new people.

So this job is in no way time sensitive. I don't need to be in a rush to turn in an application in fear that I'll miss the opportunity.

...
If I can handle the first few months without becoming overwhelmed...or taking on too many hours...it really could be an ideal place for me to work. The lady working with me called them inquiring about some of the specifics and they told us that I'd likely be working evenings or nights...as most of the day shifts get internally taken...which is ideal for me...lol I'm not a morning person at all.

But the thing that excites me the most about this job...is the 1on1 time I'd get with the people. It's a major reason left the nursing home I worked at briefly...my boss would not let me get in hardly any 1on1 time with all the lovelies.
This place is different...it's ALL about spending time with and helping the people.
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  #319  
Old 10-13-18, 04:56 AM
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Re: Support Group Fireside chat!!!!

I think you should push yourself. I dont mean that to sound like a jerk but I really think the rewards of working a little will be good for you.
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  #320  
Old 10-13-18, 05:08 AM
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Re: Support Group Fireside chat!!!!

A little secret Psycho. If I'd waited til I could run a house before getting a job I'd still be unemployed.

I do a better when working full time. When I used to work part time I'd be constantly freaking out on my days off about having to go into work and wasting my life being filled with dread. Once I finally got a full time job (I was over 30) I finally got a routine and keeping a house was less important because I wasn't there as much.
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  #321  
Old 10-13-18, 05:25 AM
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Re: Support Group Fireside chat!!!!

Love you guys .

And I know you're right.

There's SO many positives with getting this job. Many more than there are negatives as far as I know.

I also highly suspect that some of my issues with the stuff I listed...will be improved with working. I'll clean myself up as I always do when I become employed (or went to college)...my health will likely improve as I'll be moving around more, I'll likely sleep more...etc. etc.

Plus it gets me out of my head and takes my focus off of myself for a bit. Just as it was at the nursing home...this job isn't about me. It's about them. And I need that...cause dang...I spend WAY too much time in my own head focusing on me haha.

It'll feel good doing a job where I'm really making an impact on people's lives on a 1on1 basis, and it'll feel GREAT to be productive again. One thing I really feel crumby about.

Not going to lie...but the extra income would also be freaking amazing right now. I'm just barely making it atm...in fact I've been having to sell things off lately just to get by each month.

I don't want to consider full time though. Not yet. I've not really worked in over 10 years. I had a job at a casino I lasted less than a week at...then I was at the nursing home for something like 2'ish months...but outside of that, I've not worked.
I don't want to overwhelm myself. I'm VERY good at doing that. That's why I want to start out with low hours, then work my way up if I decide I want to in the future.

(((((((HUGS)))))))

Thank you for the honesty guys!

I really appreciate it.
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  #322  
Old 10-13-18, 07:53 AM
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Re: Support Group Fireside chat!!!!

I definitely think you should stick to low hours. Its tempting to go right out of the gate and want to do it all. Thats the adhd in us when we like something but you will wear yourself out emotionally and physically going from not working to full time imo. I can tell you how many times I have jumped into something and regretted the time commitment without thinking of the toll it will take on you. And I am not saying that because I think you are incapable I think its an adhd thing. I think you already sell yourself short on self care and you do not want to burn out because you are doing everything for everybody and nothing for yourself. I swear I wish we lived near each other you and i would have such a good time and be such good friends.
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  #323  
Old 10-13-18, 09:11 AM
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Re: Support Group Fireside chat!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
Or do you think I should push myself?
It could very well be just what I need to get myself out of this funk I'm in.
Plus I'm the kind of person who will settle for long periods of time. I'm afraid if I wait too long...it'll never happen.
I think you should push yourself if you can. Change may be just whatís needed to get you out of your funk. I do know how difficult it is to get started though. Starting is the hard part. After that you will be rewarded with a sense of accomplishment and hopefully a pocket full of cash.

I dread getting up each and everyday for work and really have to force myself to. At the end of the day, Iím always glad I did. When my bills and my paycheck arrive, Iím really glad I did.

Good luck with the job prospect and getting out of your funk.
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  #324  
Old 10-15-18, 02:37 PM
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Re: Support Group Fireside chat!!!!

Okay, well I have a lady helping me with a bunch of things...cleaning my apartment and employment among other planned things...coming over tomorrow at 1 to help me pick up some more of my apartment.
I'm going to ask her if she can take me to go pick up an application when we're done.

I'll get that filled out this week.
I also want to type up a letter though to turn in with it. I did so with the nursing home I was lucky to be a part of for a short period...and the administrator and the guy I worked under both said that the letter was the reason they wanted to call me in for the interview.
It was pretty personal, and I'm really proud of it...though it was too long...so I'd like to figure out a way to keep this one for this new job still personal while keeping it short and to the point.
I don't want it to be a cover letter. The nursing home and this new place don't want robots...they're looking for people who have a lot of heart and who truly care.

My application might be looked right over because of the lack of a real work history in the past 10-15 years...so I want to make sure it stands out with a small heartfelt letter.

Anyhow...
Wanted to type these goals up here on the forums in hopes I actually start getting the ball rolling. Hopefully by openly committing to do these things to you guys, it'll help give me a bit of a push.

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  #325  
Old 10-16-18, 11:01 PM
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Re: Support Group Fireside chat!!!!

Picked up an application today, and have it mostly filled out.

Also am finishing up with a letter I'll be turning in with the application.

Now I just need to turn them in. I feel a bit of a resistance...though I think that's normal.

I want to have my application turned in by next week or earlier.
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  #326  
Old 10-17-18, 06:20 PM
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Re: Support Group Fireside chat!!!!

It dark and dreary outside these days. Depression weather
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  #327  
Old 10-17-18, 07:08 PM
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Re: Support Group Fireside chat!!!!

Quote:
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It dark and dreary outside these days. Depression weather
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Old 10-17-18, 11:43 PM
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Re: Support Group Fireside chat!!!!

Hi to all my forum friends
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  #329  
Old 10-19-18, 08:22 PM
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Re: Support Group Fireside chat!!!!

The weather has turned cold. I wish it would warm up some
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  #330  
Old 10-19-18, 09:51 PM
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Re: Support Group Fireside chat!!!!

Quote:
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The weather has turned cold. I wish it would warm up some
It has been clear and sunny and high sixties for two weeks now. 50's at night.
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