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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

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Old 03-12-18, 08:13 AM
Bart1992 Bart1992 is offline
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Post Girlfriend wants to end relationship after 3 years

My girlfriend told me she wants to brake up after being together for 3 years. As reasons she gave that she can't be in a relationship right now, she is irritated more and more by little things I do and that I often don't seem to be aware of what is going on in her life. As well she feels like she isn't in love as much as in the beginning.

Now for a bit of context, our relationship started at a time when I was still in treatment at a psychiatrist as I was recently diagnosed with ADHD(-PI) and co-morbid depression. When I started with her, my depression was still there but was getting better. Apart from medication and treatment I think she was a great part in lifting my depression, because without her I would be laying in bed and she was a reason to get out of bed and do things. Around a year into the relationship, I could declare my depression to be almost gone. Things got significantly better with my study as well and I was in general more happy. The relationship was good as well and we never fight, although there sometimes where some small irritations like in every relationship i suppose.

Just a few months ago, everything was fine and we were even thinking about moving in together. After she came back from a 3 month trip to south-east Asia she said she has doubts. She is currently going through some issues as well as her parents are in divorce and she doesn't talk to her father anymore. I thought she just needed some time to adjust back home and deal with these issues and we might get better. However 2 months later I still saw her at most once a week and she didn't seem to really want spend time with me. I asked her for clarity and then she said she thought she wanted to break up giving the above reasons.

The reasons she gave where a bit vague, but might it be possible that they have something to do with me having adhd? I think especially the part of that I don't seem to be aware of what is going on in her life. I do have trouble paying attention and it occurs quite often that I ask her about something but she apparently said it before already. As for the irritations they might as well be due to my medications not being adjusted very well (after 3 years I finally feel I have found a regime that works for me) and the 'crash' of dex and not being able to sleep directly in the evenings. I didn't feel this had such an influence on our relationship but in retrospect I feel that it might have been a factor.

TL;DR: Girlfriend wants to brake up with me after 3 years. I feel it may be due to in part to my ADHD-PI as she feels I am not aware what is going on in her life and she says she is irritated by me.

What are your experiences and what would you do in this situation?
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