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  #16  
Old 02-13-19, 04:44 AM
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tazoz tazoz is offline
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Re: self acceptance piece number, heh.... pondering about stuff.

I just finished writing a pm to Dro and a thought came to me.

In the pm I wrote in part sbout how meaningful it is to take off the shackles that are holding us back that are stopping us from being ourselves and in a way about my own inability to do so.

I believe there is something that is important to remember when reading posts such as those of Dro on these forums. We are all here for a reason, we have a developmental disorder that leads to failure and underachievement, it hurts and often leaves us feeling helpless and worthless.

Society expects humility and normality, we have all felt that in various ways but in the case of ADD this can make matters worse because we typically don't have the accomplishments to be proud of, so everyone around us only sees our failures and all that is left for us to do is to smile and hide the pain that we feel for never achieving what we know we are capable of doing.

Sarah, you are clearly smart as are most people who post on these forums. I've met so many brilliant, wise and wonderful people over my time here but we are all stuck in the same hole caused by not being able to make full use of our potential.

That's why it is important to cultivate the freedom to be proud of yourself, to acknowledge your untapped potential and to share how hard it is to be seen as nothing when you are so much more.

So to all those who read these words you are smarter, more creative and deserve to be proud of the wonderful people that you are.

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  #17  
Old 02-13-19, 06:00 PM
Drogheda98 Drogheda98 is offline
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Re: self acceptance piece number, heh.... pondering about stuff.

I now get the concept of chaos/order (something that I think is a universal pshychological concept, well, guessing).

the Perseus and Theseus myth resonate with me

1 myth for the chaotic mother, 1 for the authoritarian father. 1 getting out of the grasp and understanding pathology and how to parse my thoughts and wrightings to, as talo said, find my own voice and not just an echo of what my mother has said in the past. the chaotic myth, also, in my mind, is the foundation stone of separating the ego from all the pathological elements (and I've done that in therapy a lot, actually understanding the ego and the function of the ego). a step towards full realization.

in frueds work (from what I remember reading) in the formation of the personal individualized whole and the individualized super ego, the ego must suffer. thus the ego is not the whole, but a set of agencies of the person (I think, I know, I will etc...). part of the labyrinth is litterly taking apart the ego into almost a subliminal state (which is why, I'm just now formulating, why it was hard to know if I was talking to myself or others for those 2 years or so), reaching down back into the abyss to see myself(this).

the reason the ego suffers during that time is precisely because of what the labrynth, or therapy, is for, getting on with the second portion of life. I know loads of stuff yet I had to go back and re-construe basic concepts, for only reaching the depth, volentaraly, was it possible for me to understand narcassism, echo's, self, pathology and release myself of 3 of those things grasp (well to the point that everyone is just a bit narcissistic and a bit echo) .

it was through construel level theory that I formulated the concept of superordinate, basic and subordinate. also construel level theory I begane forming the foundation for what is, and what isn't pathological. construel level theory (in my mind anyway) is the concept of the infant (which is why the ego suffers, I hate the idea of relearning basic fundimintals of life from square 1, all cause I didnt have a blueprint for the superego at the beggining of life, which is literally what the abyss is from what I understand).

to my credit, I have never discriminated, a blessing and a curse. however, I learned to discriminate distance in the new space time shaping my therapist and I did. such I learned the proper use for the words discrimination... or discriminant in math. that's how I really learned what pathology was (the echo ) and could really start the self transference stuff, to parce, in my head and writings, the words I speak etc... what are my thoughts and ideas, and what were inside my head based on narc wounds. forgiveness is the only way to heal any wound, always with grace.

at that point in the process I started to understand the superego more, why the "you's" my therapist had given me worked when I would think of him saying that. I don't want to say a lot about the psychological process (3 you's, 1 I, 1 it), but doing the process for everything over time, stuff started to stick.

the theseus myth, or atleast the second part, is illumination. the centered ego.

I always prefer talking of ships than frueds buggy, rider, horse notion (the concepts are interchangeable). the super ego is the commander of the this ship, the ego, the ego makes the plans and charts the coarse, and it is the horsepower.

the ego "captures" idea's (just like my camera captures photo's) for artistic expression and commands by the super ego later on. if I know how to play a song I can tell others with the super ego how to play a particular song. the concept of self consciousness and courage are needed to do things, when I do a thing, I "capture" the notion with my ego "I did the thing" and can use the notion for my super ego, cause, while I'm synthesizing these thoughts right now, the super ego is pretty much experience guiding self and others to the good. as long as the ego is honest, the super ego will be honest, if the ego lies, the super ego will be pathological, spreading pathology

I don't know if I need to express this because of what has been transpireing lately withen me, I don't know what happened to get me to were I needed to descend into the labrynth over and over, the concept of love and everything isnt new, but I think with all these knew thoughts I do need to reinstate it.

just like the superego points to idea's and concepts and people that are known to myself, I can talk to another person with the super ego by understanding we are all human beings with the capacity for love, compassion etc... without self reflection and without refraction.

still not 100%, specially on the last paragraph, time will tell if I need to revise some thoughts, but until then, I just need to keep on cracking.
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  #18  
Old 02-13-19, 10:24 PM
Drogheda98 Drogheda98 is offline
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Re: self acceptance piece number, heh.... pondering about stuff.

from what I previously wrote, and the questions that have been going through my mind and then, the various searches on the journals ncbi or psychology today.

I do believe that I am mastering the complex, In the previous post I was successful at doing some self transference (as in sort of being my own psychologist. in the research I'm doing right now, ego dissolution for mastery of the complex and the formation of the inner superego.

like, in these last few posts of mine, I have done what is written about in the analytical works of Freud and Jung.

even to the extent of the latent ego
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