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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

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  #1  
Old 09-09-18, 04:33 AM
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Exclamation More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

It's a confidence/self esteem issue, lot of you seem to be the victims of serious emotional and psychological abuse, free yourselves from the abusers and manipulators in your life. Learn to stop being a victim and find the courage to stand up for yourselves, I promise you things will greatly improve the moment these people are no longer involved in your life!



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Old 09-09-18, 06:05 PM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

There are no abusers in my life. I've been lucky so far that most people I've met have been fairly decent especially later in life. My confidence still sucks and you are right. Many posts aren't related to ADHD at all. I use this site as my go to site for everything. I mean really absolutely everything. I love you guys. You are my light.

Haven't seen you in a while. I hope you've been good.
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Old 09-09-18, 06:47 PM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

I think that we all experience life through filters imposed by ADHD to some extent. I'm just wondering how anything in my own life could NOT be affected in some way by a condition that affects me so much! For most of my life I knew something wasn't quite "normal" about me...but didn't have a clue what it was. How could I even discuss with others what I mostly couldn't even put into words myself. Finally knowing what ADHD is all about eventually gave me a way to explain what was wrong. If I have a bad day, it usually relates to ADHD, I think.
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Old 09-09-18, 08:10 PM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

It is easy to say , hard to do
First you need to face with biggest fears, what causes anxiety, what u dont wany to face
Accept yourself as you are, not trying to fix yourself like machine

It is a life process, rome isnt built in one day
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Old 09-10-18, 12:50 AM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

The more I've learned about myself, The more I've come to realize that I am my own biggest abuser. Just that realization alone has helped me to grow far beyond where I was before I started down this path of discovery.
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Old 09-10-18, 09:44 PM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

which posts?

it can also be dangerous assigning emotional issues from adhd to abuse or trama
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Old 09-10-18, 09:52 PM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd_ View Post
It's a confidence/self esteem issue, lot of you seem to be the victims of serious emotional and psychological abuse, free yourselves from the abusers and manipulators in your life. Learn to stop being a victim and find the courage to stand up for yourselves, I promise you things will greatly improve the moment these people are no longer involved in your life!



I'm usually suspicious of people with pat answers to complex problems, especially "just pull yourself up by your bootstraps!!!"

Secondly, blaming others for your problems is not super-helpful, and a lot of times it's just displacement, to use a term I learned from my therapist, because you're afraid of facing your own negative emotions. SO you blame it all on a convenient someone nearby, and insist they are "toxic" and the cause of all of your problems.

Now, I agree there are toxic people, or people that are just too negative for someone with their own s--- to deal with. But just saying "cut out the toxic people and you'll feel super-awesome" is not super-helpful.

D.
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  #8  
Old 09-11-18, 01:35 AM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

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Originally Posted by DanielGoldberg View Post
I'm usually suspicious of people with pat answers to complex problems, especially "just pull yourself up by your bootstraps!!!"

Secondly, blaming others for your problems is not super-helpful, and a lot of times it's just displacement, to use a term I learned from my therapist, because you're afraid of facing your own negative emotions. SO you blame it all on a convenient someone nearby, and insist they are "toxic" and the cause of all of your problems.

Now, I agree there are toxic people, or people that are just too negative for someone with their own s--- to deal with. But just saying "cut out the toxic people and you'll feel super-awesome" is not super-helpful.

D.
This.
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Old 09-11-18, 01:36 AM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

I do not think many people choose to be a victim.
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Old 09-22-18, 06:19 AM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

I agree to an extent, as relationships are complex and ADHD can’t really be the sole reason for issues between people, imo. However, having ADHD (or any other mental disorder) places some additional challenges on a person when it comes to interpersonal relationships. Being impulsive, easily bored, having trouble listening, having trouble sitting still, etc, can add a lot of extra conflict in a relationship, so it takes a bit more work to overcome other issues in the relationship.

I also have autism, so I understand that many of the social issues I have are nothing to do with ADHD. However I notice that my ADHD makes it harder for me to adapt to situations that most other spergs thrive in. I think it probably affects my relationships as well.
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Old 09-22-18, 12:37 PM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

Interesting fact I heard... Known victimizers are famous for telling people to stop playing or being a victim.
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Old 10-18-18, 02:40 AM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

Quote:
Originally Posted by DanielGM1970 View Post
I learned from my therapist
How long do you intend on seeing a therapist?

The only thing I've learned from seeing a therapist is no different than talking with a man of the cloth, both sects teach that you're eternally broken as a person and only they can provide you with the wisdom and answers you need in life, IMHO you can learn more from the homeless guy in the alleyway or the elderly lady at the nursing home than these people with pieces of paper placed inside a nice display case on the wall, a long time ago we'd console with our grandparents and elders but not anymore, they are of no value and stored away, literally hundreds of years of combined wisdom in those old folks home but nah we're trained to throw our money at the guy or gal with the useless piece of paper in the nice display case on the wall.

Just my 2 cents for whatever its worth....
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Old 10-18-18, 02:44 AM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

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Interesting fact I heard... Known victimizers are famous for telling people to stop playing or being a victim.
No, you didn't hear it from anywhere, you're implying I'm a victimizer.

BTW interesting fact I've read about is that many times manipulators will play the victim in order to take advantage of people's good will. Just saying.
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Old 10-18-18, 02:48 AM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

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Originally Posted by Funky1 View Post
The more I've learned about myself, The more I've come to realize that I am my own biggest abuser. Just that realization alone has helped me to grow far beyond where I was before I started down this path of discovery.
This is my biggest issue as well but my point is they're people who look to take advantage of you when you're feeling down or bad about yourself and will use negative reinforcement thus keeping you in that perpetual state of disarray, they'll make you feel they're super important and get their kicks out of abusing you at the same time, Stockholm Syndrome they call it I guess?
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Old 10-18-18, 02:49 AM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

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Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 View Post

Haven't seen you in a while. I hope you've been good.
Oh thanks for asking, hope all is well with you.
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