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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

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  #16  
Old 10-18-18, 02:59 AM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

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Originally Posted by Lloyd_ View Post
How long do you intend on seeing a therapist?

The only thing I've learned from seeing a therapist is no different than talking with a man of the cloth, both sects teach that you're eternally broken as a person and only they can provide you with the wisdom and answers you need in life, IMHO you can learn more from the homeless guy in the alleyway or the elderly lady at the nursing home than these people with pieces of paper placed inside a nice display case on the wall,

....
I'm so sorry to hear you had these experiences.
And it can happen! my dear friend went to therapy and the Dr ( i do not know if he was a psychiatrist or psychologist) "maintained" her in therapy and well there was this very weird reverse attachment thing, and when she said she felt she wa ready to end therapy, he burst into tears.

And yes, we can learn a lot from the people we cross in everyday situations along our path through life.

my psychiatrist is excellent and diagnosis and treatment (adhd meds) have shown me that I am NOT broken. I have never been in any kind of abusive relationship but now my relationships overall are much healthier.

I hope everyone here who seeks help, whether from psy, counselors, clergy etc, has positive results that help them grow and overcome their struggles
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  #17  
Old 10-18-18, 04:51 AM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

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Originally Posted by Lloyd_ View Post
No, you didn't hear it from anywhere, you're implying I'm a victimizer.

BTW interesting fact I've read about is that many times manipulators will play the victim in order to take advantage of people's good will. Just saying.
I was not implying you are a victimizer.
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  #18  
Old 10-18-18, 05:28 AM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

@Lloyd

I don't know if you're meaning to, or if it's just me...I might just be reading things wrong?...
But you seem to be rather harsh here...like you think you're better than us.

Is it just me?
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Old 10-18-18, 07:52 AM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

I've been recently hearing this kind of sentiment about psychotherapy elsewhere, someone quoting James Hillman and what it's making me think of is "All or nothing" thinking, a cognitive distortion.
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Old 10-18-18, 08:35 AM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

I want to comment that your first post accuses most of us as being victims of serious emotional and psychological abuse and manipulation, then another posts suggests free ourselves from this by seeking guidance from a homeless person or our relatives in nursing homes.

Now here's where my cognitive issues come in because I can't articulate further what is exactly wonky with that, but it's rubbing me the wrong way...even though i personally, don't have a lot of confidence in therapists- most of mine have been flexible in approaches. Both have accommodated me when I suggested the best approach is probably just meditation, because the trauma seems to dig it's heels in the more I go looking for it. On the other hand, without a therapist's insight and I may have stayed in a state of denial...who knows that's a vast topic.

For some people, taking the reins away from their abuser is a complicated task, especially as their parents age into nursing homes. Having someone to talk to about it, is helpful. when I have visited my relatives in nursing homes, I usually have to yell, their memory is quite gone and it at best it's a lesson in surrender, as I am powerless over their condition and over the fact that we may well come to a similar fate.

and all or nothing thinking can be a coping mechanism for feelings of powerlessness?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd_ View Post
How long do you intend on seeing a therapist?

The only thing I've learned from seeing a therapist is no different than talking with a man of the cloth, both sects teach that you're eternally broken as a person and only they can provide you with the wisdom and answers you need in life, IMHO you can learn more from the homeless guy in the alleyway or the elderly lady at the nursing home than these people with pieces of paper placed inside a nice display case on the wall, a long time ago we'd console with our grandparents and elders but not anymore, they are of no value and stored away, literally hundreds of years of combined wisdom in those old folks home but nah we're trained to throw our money at the guy or gal with the useless piece of paper in the nice display case on the wall.

Just my 2 cents for whatever its worth....
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  #21  
Old 10-18-18, 09:10 AM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

correction: you didn't say "relatives" in a nursing home. But still, it felt like a romanticized, oversimplified solution you presented.



Quote:
Originally Posted by lisariver View Post
I want to comment that your first post accuses most of us as being victims of serious emotional and psychological abuse and manipulation, then another posts suggests free ourselves from this by seeking guidance from a homeless person or our relatives in nursing homes.

Now here's where my cognitive issues come in because I can't articulate further what is exactly wonky with that, but it's rubbing me the wrong way...even though i personally, don't have a lot of confidence in therapists- most of mine have been flexible in approaches. Both have accommodated me when I suggested the best approach is probably just meditation, because the trauma seems to dig it's heels in the more I go looking for it. On the other hand, without a therapist's insight and I may have stayed in a state of denial...who knows that's a vast topic.

For some people, taking the reins away from their abuser is a complicated task, especially as their parents age into nursing homes. Having someone to talk to about it, is helpful. when I have visited my relatives in nursing homes, I usually have to yell, their memory is quite gone and it at best it's a lesson in surrender, as I am powerless over their condition and over the fact that we may well come to a similar fate.

and all or nothing thinking can be a coping mechanism for feelings of powerlessness?
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  #22  
Old 10-18-18, 09:21 AM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd_ View Post
How long do you intend on seeing a therapist?

The only thing I've learned from seeing a therapist is no different than talking with a man of the cloth, both sects teach that you're eternally broken as a person and only they can provide you with the wisdom and answers you need in life, IMHO you can learn more from the homeless guy in the alleyway or the elderly lady at the nursing home than these people with pieces of paper placed inside a nice display case on the wall, a long time ago we'd console with our grandparents and elders but not anymore, they are of no value and stored away, literally hundreds of years of combined wisdom in those old folks home but nah we're trained to throw our money at the guy or gal with the useless piece of paper in the nice display case on the wall.

Just my 2 cents for whatever its worth....
That may be your experience but there's stacks of scientific evidence supporting therapy.
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  #23  
Old 10-18-18, 09:23 AM
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Re: More than 50% of these posts are not ADD/ADHD related

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd_ View Post
No, you didn't hear it from anywhere, you're implying I'm a victimizer.

BTW interesting fact I've read about is that many times manipulators will play the victim in order to take advantage of people's good will. Just saying.
But wouldnt that mean that the "manipulator" is in fact the victimizer if they are taking advantage of people's good will? Plus, many times people label a victim a manipulator to invalidate their experience.
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