Watching others get promoted while I barely hang on to my Job

[K-Funk]

So just found out another friend of mine (who started after me) is getting promoted to an assistant directorship position. Over the years I've been in my position, I've seen person after person who started out as I did, move up the corporate ladder again and again while I struggle to even keep my job. I always feel like I'm just one more screw up away from getting canned.

To be fair these people all deserved what they got. Hard workers and dedicated employees who bust their butts and should totally be rewarded. I don't at all think I should just get some random promotion just b/c I've been somewhere for "x" number of years. I guess I just wish I could finally get my sh#t together so I could start getting ahead like virtually everyone else seems to be able to do. I mean I know it's my fault for not being on the ball...but what can I say, it's a little depressing and honestly embarrassing.

Is this something any of you go through/have gone through?

[danelady]

Every couple of months I get really paranoid and send a message in to my dispatch asking if I'm gonna get canned,especially if its really slow and I don't get a load for a couple of days. I think 'they' are trying to starve me out of the truck! But then I talk to other drivers and they are also going through a slow period. So I do get paranoid that I'm gonna get canned too.

When I worked in the convenience store,newer and younger people were always making assistant manager,while I always was kept hidden away. But,in reality,I wasn't ever a brown noser and always said what was on my mind at the moment it entered my mind. Not very good PR! Haha!

Sometimes I think the only way to get ahead in certain places is to kiss the big boss's big behind. Haha..I know that will NEVER be me!

Well,sorry ya feel left behind at your work. Since it was a friend of yours,maybe you can ask them what had occured recently that got them promoted. Maybe you'll get a clue as to what others are doing that you aren't doing.

[fracturedstory]

I'm sorry to hear that. I don't work and I don't know when I'll get that first job but I'll probably be in the exact situation, if I ever last longer than a week that is.

[theburr]

Originally Posted by K-Funk

I've seen person after person who started out as I did, move up the corporate ladder again and again while I struggle to even keep my job. I always feel like I'm just one more screw up away from getting canned.

In short, they're asking for promotions and you're not. It's really that simple, but it took me years to figure it out. The reason I used to not ask is because, like you, I felt I was always on the verge of being fired, so who was I to make demands?

But it really is as simple as asking for what you want. If you're not asking, your boss thinks you're happy with the status quo. And if you are really subpar in your performance, your boss would let you know, or let you go.

Believe me, unqualified people get promoted left and right, just because they asked. Why let your own perceived shortcomings stop you from going along with them?

The worst that can happen is to hear no. You're not going to be fired for asking, and besides, you can find out what you need to be doing in order to get to a yes. And do it.

It sounds like you need some grease, so be a squeaky wheel for a change!

[theloop345]

I like this reply- ask for what you need-also sometimes the most difficult lesson for me to really "get" is when to move on to something else I am more passionate about. Passion is a great antidote for ADD!

[buggie]

Originally Posted by K-Funk

So just found out another friend of mine (who started after me) is getting promoted to an assistant directorship position. Over the years I've been in my position, I've seen person after person who started out as I did, move up the corporate ladder again and again while I struggle to even keep my job. I always feel like I'm just one more screw up away from getting canned.

To be fair these people all deserved what they got. Hard workers and dedicated employees who bust their butts and should totally be rewarded. I don't at all think I should just get some random promotion just b/c I've been somewhere for "x" number of years. I guess I just wish I could finally get my sh#t together so I could start getting ahead like virtually everyone else seems to be able to do. I mean I know it's my fault for not being on the ball...but what can I say, it's a little depressing and honestly embarrassing.

Is this something any of you go through/have gone through?

Yeah I can really relate. I keep getting laid off and stuff before I can get promoted anywhere, but it's all the same feeling. I remember the first job I had out of college, in four years I only got promoted once while it was pretty standard to get promoted every year or so. I try really hard but jobs never work out for me, I never feel like I fit.

[theloop345]

For me it always comes down to my own issues of self-worth, which fluctuate with the wind it seems- I can choose which to believe- which to let resonate with my past. I recently almost lost my new job because of my speaking out of turn, saying what I "Thought" everyone else was thinking- and "assuming" that I knew what my female supervisors had in mind- and keep in mind I am the ONLY male in an office of 65 females! Can anyone say keep your head down and your mouth shut? Now this was pre-medication- since then I have been completely OK with being an observer- and I have found that I learn much more about what these women need from me as well as the real value of silence. Keep searching for your passion- you probably already know what it is but somehow you believe that you can't make a living doing it. For me I had to accept for now that although i wasn't getting paid to BE a musician that I still WAS a musician- and that whatever job I was at was simply "FUNDING THE DREAM!"

[zirazira]

Originally Posted by theloop345

For me it always comes down to my own issues of self-worth, which fluctuate with the wind it seems- I can choose which to believe- which to let resonate with my past. I recently almost lost my new job because of my speaking out of turn, saying what I "Thought" everyone else was thinking- and "assuming" that I knew what my female supervisors had in mind- and keep in mind I am the ONLY male in an office of 65 females! Can anyone say keep your head down and your mouth shut? Now this was pre-medication- since then I have been completely OK with being an observer- and I have found that I learn much more about what these women need from me as well as the real value of silence. Keep searching for your passion- you probably already know what it is but somehow you believe that you can't make a living doing it. For me I had to accept for now that although i wasn't getting paid to BE a musician that I still WAS a musician- and that whatever job I was at was simply "FUNDING THE DREAM!"

musician? sounds good job.

[ADDinHDefgHi?!]

I can relate, although I've never worked a normal 9-5 job for longer than a few months I definitely know that feeling. It's the feeling that I get/got when I'm working a job that is a poor fit for me.

Every job has it's challenges, ADD complicates these challenges infinitely but it can work to your advantage when you're working a job that fits you like a finely tailored suit.

My question is do you enjoy your job? Or is it just a way to pay the bills? For Myself, if it's just a way to pay the bills it's hard for me to go above and beyond the call of duty and get ahead. I need to work a job that I would be doing even if they weren't paying me to get ahead. I've noticed a lot of ADD people are similar in this respect, just my observation though. Although I've noticed most successful people enjoy their job to some extent.

Maybe this job isn't that valuable to you outside of the income it provides, if this is the case your employers will take notice of this and treat you accordingly. If it is valuable to you beyond the money you need to make sure you change the way you do things so the people in charge know this.

I think if you really want this promotion you should ask for it (like the previous poster said), sometimes that's all it takes. At the very least you should find out what you need to be doing to get that promotion. If you know exactly what you need to do to get the results you want you'll have a better shot at getting that promotion.

For example:

I had a job teaching music at a school for while and I just wasn't into it, so I only did what I absolutely had to do to get by. Eventually I got to the point where I just showed up physically, I noticed other teachers getting promotions and getting more students etc... but they were all much more in love with that job than I was. I eventually realized I didn't love that job enough to make it work for me or them, so I left.

I now teach privately and make three times more money and I'm happier, my students like me a lot more and progress much faster when I'm allowed to run the program. I also play music for a living.... I actually make more money playing music most of the time.

I excel in music because I love it and it's completely natural for me. My clients are able to see I'm not just doing it for the money. I truly care about the quality of the work I'm doing regardless of whether I'm teaching, performing or writing music.... It's not just about the money, ironically this trait seems to attract work that pays very well.

Still, even within my niche' I have to find my niche'. I know I have to work gigs that fit me if I want to do quality work. Sometimes you have to fake confidence until you feel confident because nobody gets ahead without confidence. When I find myself in your position I have to ask myself "Is this a new challenge that I need to rise up to meet or am I just working a job that is a poor fit for me at this time?"...

The first teaching job I wrote about was an example of a job that was a poor fit, I could have worked harder and made more money but I wouldn't have been happy and the money still wouldn't have been enough to justify the amount of work and time that I would have needed to put into it.

I've seen some of my peers go on to make ridiculous amounts of money and advance their careers in remarkable ways. I just try and learn from them and always be aware that what's best for them isn't always what's best for me.

My ADD diagnosis helped me in this area alot, because once I began getting treatment I was able to see a lot of details that I had missed previously. Being on top of these details helps me to approach my job with more confidence. I still struggle (to stay on top of certain details... like what time/day it is for instance...) constantly with various issues, ADD is a !@#$% but I just do the best I can and try and get on with it. Some days I still beat myself up over my shortcomings but I'm working on letting go of that habit.

Sorry this is so damn long!

To sum it up, if you're going to work a job and be successful at it you have to project confidence and convince the people you work for that you are incredibly valuable to them (because YOU ARE VALUABLE!)... companies should be fighting over YOU because you are a person of great value that they need.

If you just want the promotion at your current job I think you'll get it if you WANT it bad enough.

This is just my take on it, like I said I've never worked regular 9-5 jobs for longer than a month or two, I always got fired within the first few months... this is just what I've learned after being fired countless times from jobs that were a poor fit for me.

[tudorose]

After finally having enough of being the best worker at the job I cracked the absolute $hits at the management and told them I'd had a gutful and that I would not believe a word they said if I didn't get given the next opportunity. They gave it to me and I've used it to get experience to get into a different area for 6 months. Squeaky wheel gets oiled.