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Women with ADD/ADHD This forum is for women to discuss issues related to being a woman with AD/HD.

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  #1  
Old 05-13-11, 09:19 AM
nevermore nevermore is offline
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What does it mean to make yourself (vulnerable) to another person?

So I was having this discussion last night in which I explained that it's hard to care for a person I don't even know. I mentioned that the care would come naturally once the relationship is established, but not before.

Then this woman BR549 wrote the following and disappeared:

Quote:
"Well, it will be hard to get to the point where a relationship is intimate unless there is caring to begin with. There's more to intimacy than sex. You have to take the time to get to know someone. You also have to expose a little of yourself to the other person as well. You have to make yourself a little vulnerable. Otherwise a true, intimate or loving relationship can't form. Everyone has to but themselves out there. Sure, you might get rejected, and yes, it might hurt. But how else are you going to learn how to have a relationship if you don't do that?"
Can someone please explain to me what it means to make yourself vulnerable?

  • How do you make yourself vulnerable?
  • And why do people expect you to make yourself vulnerable?
  • Can someone please give me an explanation?
  • Why would I like someone just because they show vulnerability?
  • Is the idea to show the other person that you are not a threat to them?
  • If that's the case, how come I've never perceived people as being a threat to me?
I don't need anyone to make themselves vulnerable in order to make me like them. It's not like I was under the impression they were flawless...
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Old 05-13-11, 09:58 AM
rioch rioch is offline
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Re: What does it mean to make yourself (vulnerable) to another person?

I don't know the full context of the conversation you had, but I'll try to answer anyway.

I wonder what you mean by care for someone. I think for different people it could mean different things. Do I care for a stranger? I'd like to say yes, but when you compare any kind of caring for a stranger to caring for someone who is important in your life (a friend, your partner, a teacher) there is likely to be a stark contrast between the two.

I suppose that caring for a stranger means treating them with the same politeness, decency and respect that you would a friend. That doesn't necessarily mean you'll disclose intimate details of your life to them, but it does mean that you're able to give them the same warmth and friendliness as everyone else.

Making yourself vulnerable sounds like something you'd do if you want a relationship to develop into something closer. Being vulnerable means showing what is traditionally considered your weaker side. For example, telling someone when you're scared, nervous, or anxious about something.

Sharing your more vulnerable side allows people to connect with you on a more personal and emotional level. It also shows the incredible amount of trust you have in that person, because you're sharing something that exposes you to being hurt.
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Old 05-13-11, 10:01 AM
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Re: What does it mean to make yourself (vulnerable) to another person?

I think it means revealing yourself flaws and all to someone for love and acceptance and also accepting the other person. You kind of have to decide if you can can past any flaws they do have and love them anyway
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Old 05-13-11, 10:17 AM
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Re: What does it mean to make yourself (vulnerable) to another person?

uh, check the other thread.
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Old 05-13-11, 01:46 PM
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Re: What does it mean to make yourself (vulnerable) to another person?

A bunch of things. The big one (for me) is being totally honest with someone. Which means that if they reject you, they are rejecting YOU. The real you.
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Old 05-13-11, 02:19 PM
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Re: What does it mean to make yourself (vulnerable) to another person?

Yes consult the other thread you made.
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Old 05-13-11, 02:27 PM
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Re: What does it mean to make yourself (vulnerable) to another person?

I think you are stopping yourself and making it harder than it really is or needs to be. Okay you have ADD and other issues, but you should not let it disable you anymore. You always seem to have problems, not solutions. Just stop making excuses and get out there!
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Old 05-13-11, 04:11 PM
tired1823 tired1823 is offline
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Re: What does it mean to make yourself (vulnerable) to another person?

I think he is preparing to do this. These threads are such a good thing and he needs to keep coming back here. He has made so much progress and we are all learning so much from these threads. it's epic to me, honestly.
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Old 05-13-11, 05:40 PM
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Re: What does it mean to make yourself (vulnerable) to another person?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alliee View Post
I think he is preparing to do this. These threads are such a good thing and he needs to keep coming back here. He has made so much progress and we are all learning so much from these threads. it's epic to me, honestly.
what are you learning from these threads?
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Old 05-18-11, 12:39 AM
tergesa tergesa is offline
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Re: What does it mean to make yourself (vulnerable) to another person?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alliee View Post
I think he is preparing to do this. These threads are such a good thing and he needs to keep coming back here. He has made so much progress and we are all learning so much from these threads. it's epic to me, honestly.
I don't know. I'm not convinced the poster's anything other than a troll. The jury is still out as far as I'm concerned.
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Old 05-18-11, 02:53 AM
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Re: What does it mean to make yourself (vulnerable) to another person?

I'm confused. Why is nevermore starting a new thread in the Women with ADD/ADHD section? Wouldn't it be more appropriate in the Relationships section, or elsewhere on the forum?
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