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  #1  
Old 08-25-11, 12:04 AM
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Unhappy He has ADHD; ignores me for DAYS, but then says he loves and wants me..what to do? :(

I love my ex boyfriend soooo much!! He has ADHD..we broke up in an ugly argument but thank God we're talking again. The problem is, he will only message me every four days or so VIA social networking and will NOT respond to texts .

When he DOES message he says he loves me, misses me, cant wait to see me (long distance) etc. which feels good..but when he ignores me I just feel like poo .

I'm studying ADHD aLOT and think it may have to do with his condition. I love him exceedingly and although this is a whole different ballpark I am willing to do whatever it takes to make this work. He is the funnest, sweetest, most awesomest guy ever <3.

How do I approach this? I have assured him I am sorry for my part of the arguement, care for him, and intend to be good to him. I send him an occasional "I miss you" sort of novelty. I tried the jelous thing a little by posting nice pics of me via the networking site which attained nice compliments *yeahhh babeyyy* >>LOL!!

I'm sorry if this is lengthy, this is just a matter very dear to my heart and one that I am new to. Help me..what can I do? He means the WORLD TO ME!!

Oh and another thing..he plays videogames alot online and I tried to get into that to, mainly to remind him of how much we are alike. Good move? What to do what do do??

Oh..and I think I might have it too. Cuzz..we have the same colorful personality.. and I cant find anyone else like that. Wich is what I truly miss Thank you soooo much for any info you can share you will truly make my day .

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Old 08-25-11, 11:45 AM
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Re: He has ADHD; ignores me for DAYS, but then says he loves and wants me..what to do

I don't want to sound cold or unfeeling, but have you considered letting him go?

First, he has a condition, but that doesn't give him a license to treat you like garbage. Sick or not, he will some day have to learn that he can't treat people this way, or he will continue making the people around him unhappy.

Second, just because he has a condition, doesn't mean that everything is about his condition. He may just be torn emotionally, and that can happen to anyone. People can lead other people on emotionally, without knowing they're doing it or without being able to stop, when they're torn like this. Honestly, that's what I get from what you're telling me, but I don't know the situation as well as you do, so take what I have to say here with a huge grain of salt.

I don't know, most people don't change unless events come along that force them to change. You clinging to him won't force that on him... so are you willing to deal with this, at least periodically, for the rest of your relationship?
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Old 08-25-11, 01:18 PM
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Re: He has ADHD; ignores me for DAYS, but then says he loves and wants me..what to do

How often does he play video games and what video games does he play mostly? He could be addicted to online video gaming. Your only option is then to either play with him,make him quit, or realize that you need to move on. This is coming from an ex online video game addict.
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Old 08-26-11, 01:56 AM
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Re: He has ADHD; ignores me for DAYS, but then says he loves and wants me..what to do

@KronarTheblack: Hey thanks for your reply! So did your addiction cause you to act similarly to what I described?
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Old 08-26-11, 10:26 AM
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Re: He has ADHD; ignores me for DAYS, but then says he loves and wants me..what to do

Firstly, I think it's wonderful that you are trying to educate yourself about his "condition".

Without the benefit of knowing the details of the "argument", from what we know of your side of things, the perspective you share with us is that 'you' see "the problem" as with 'him' not getting back to 'you' on a more regular basis (obvious you'd prefer more often than every four days or so). And you say he "will NOT" text in reply on those occasions he does respond, although with the message content in which he does respond and you obviously receive, you find pleasing, "which feels good".

You feel it's "ignoring" 'you'. I wonder if he's set some kind of boundries regarding the method and time of communicating with you, due to other commitments (i.e., Is he a student? Does he have a job?). Long distance relationships need a bit of special tending ... they are hard enough as they come (as I'm currently experiencing....OY!)

And you only mentioned that he plays "a lot" of online gaming....meaning, you didn't sound alarmed by the amount of time he puts into playing, but that you tried to "get into" it for, I assuming here, 'your' benefit in kindling his recollection of how much you two are alike.

Does he play these games, a lot, online to relax from his day...doing one thing he truly enjoys...lets him unwind? Or, perhaps, it cuts into 'your' time?

Just wondering.

I can see just how much he does for 'you'...by the way you express yourself on the page. You just don't say much...at all....'bout that "which feels good" to 'him'....or, how he may try in his way, to accomodate you, as he is 'able', (keeping in mind his "condition").

You're sending him 'novelty' and doing the 'jealous things' (of which..you "feel good" 'bout, because those pics rendered 'you' compliments).

I can't see him much, here, nor much in the way of his "condition"/ ADHD, revealed.

But I can make out just how great a guy he is for 'you', when he's not 'ignoring' 'you' or generally making 'you' feel like 'poo'.

No...I don't know 'bout that 'argument', but laying-out "the problem", as you did, I have to wonder if this is an issue of ADHD, or just your run-o'-the mill relationship ... thang.

Best of luck to you both.
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Old 08-26-11, 11:01 AM
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Re: He has ADHD; ignores me for DAYS, but then says he loves and wants me..what to do

He suffers from "TFAS ...TWO FACED ******* SYNSROME. his *** blocks his neuro tansmitters that prevent him from comitting to anything meaningful . I understand his condition but "jerk"or "insensitive " isn't even in the dsm. And you need to live for you and deserve to be happy not in a constant state of "what if" just my opinion though
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Old 08-26-11, 11:34 AM
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Re: He has ADHD; ignores me for DAYS, but then says he loves and wants me..what to do

Sorry to be a bit brutal.... but what you're saying here is that you want him to communicate more frequently. That's a bit more your problem than his... he is your EX.

How much he communicates and by what method doesn't prove how much he loves you or even if he loves you. According to you he is your ex and that means he can contact you and comment just as much or as little as he want to and has no obligation to cooperate with what you would like him to do in any way shape or form.

you come across as pretty young and, dare i say it, a bit naive. "doing whatever it takes" to make a relationship with an ex isn't that smart a move.... it's the way to being a full on, flat on your back doormat.

It might be an idea to get off the floor.... if you look like a doormat, act like a doormat there will be no shortage of people lining up to treat you like a doormat.


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Old 08-26-11, 12:24 PM
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Re: He has ADHD; ignores me for DAYS, but then says he loves and wants me..what to do

I saw many girls suffering from the same illness at any age: he loves (or appears to love) her but he does not call/care/propose etc... I had been there occasionally too... Maybe some of those man were non-diagnosed ADDers, but it is a very slim chance that all that man had ADD.

My 15 year old niece was reading a book recently called: "He's Just Not That Into You" (apparently it`s very famous book, I wouldn`t know since I am from Bridget Jones era). I didn`t read the book but if the content is like the title suggests, it might be a useful book to read for all girls. I will surely buy one for my 14 year old girl.
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Old 08-26-11, 12:28 PM
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Re: He has ADHD; ignores me for DAYS, but then says he loves and wants me..what to do

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Gomez View Post
@KronarTheblack: Hey thanks for your reply! So did your addiction cause you to act similarly to what I described?
Yes it did. I was so involved with the video game that I wouldn't pay attention to anything else and lost my gf at the time over it. But at the time I didn't even care because the game was so much fun. Kicked the habit now and will never waste my life on a game again!
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Old 08-26-11, 12:40 PM
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Re: He has ADHD; ignores me for DAYS, but then says he loves and wants me..what to do

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
He suffers from "TFAS ...TWO FACED ******* SYNSROME. his *** blocks his neuro tansmitters that prevent him from comitting to anything meaningful . I understand his condition but "jerk"or "insensitive " isn't even in the dsm. And you need to live for you and deserve to be happy not in a constant state of "what if" just my opinion though
Really? You got all that from a second person report? How many people have mischaracterized your behaviour?


These two are young, they aren't experts at relationships, not at starting them, not at living them and most certainly not at ending them. Many of us made 'mistakes' and didn't know how to end or extricate ourselves from a relationship.

You can call it whatever you want but really? Is there a need to go after his character like this? They aren't even together, she's wanting to get BACK together. He's not even IN a relationship with her now. He's free to act however he wants outside of a relationship right?
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