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  #1  
Old 08-31-11, 04:48 PM
Gilthranon Gilthranon is offline
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Ashamed to ask, but important to me

I am really sorry to ask this, but lately I'm kind of needing the support of positive thoughts. I'm swallowing my pride and just going to ask it - I've been on this forum for over a year and tried to help people with all I got to give. Maybe I'm over reacting or maybe my thoughts are running wild as hell right now... but my reputation is the only one of millions on this forum, left unchanged ever since my first posts in 2010. Please, it's really important for me to know. I've done what I can, is it me or do most not appreciate me ? I just thought this would be the one place where I would be really... at least be accepted. It's my safe haven, place of understanding and really love you guys.

I needed a vent, I've had better times. Sorry.
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  #2  
Old 08-31-11, 04:55 PM
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Re: Ashamed to ask, but important to me

I think everyone appreciates any advice and help given to them. Try not to be so hard on yourself.

You're surrounded by folks like me who don't remember where they left their keys, much less remember to add rep for someone. I'm more of a "thank you" type of person.

But I understand your train of thought. When you don't feel appreciated, be it online or otherwise, it hurts. We appreciate you being here and sharing your knowledge and experiences!!
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  #3  
Old 08-31-11, 05:22 PM
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Re: Ashamed to ask, but important to me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pure19Ambition View Post
I am really sorry to ask this, but lately I'm kind of needing the support of positive thoughts. I'm swallowing my pride and just going to ask it - I've been on this forum for over a year and tried to help people with all I got to give. Maybe I'm over reacting or maybe my thoughts are running wild as hell right now... but my reputation is the only one of millions on this forum, left unchanged ever since my first posts in 2010. Please, it's really important for me to know. I've done what I can, is it me or do most not appreciate me ? I just thought this would be the one place where I would be really... at least be accepted. It's my safe haven, place of understanding and really love you guys.

I needed a vent, I've had better times. Sorry.
(((hugs)))

Very likely it isn't you. It's people not knowing how the rep point system works or how or why to use it. Or not using the "Thanks" because it is unfamiliar.

(((hugs)))
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  #4  
Old 08-31-11, 06:03 PM
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Re: Ashamed to ask, but important to me

Hum... first thoughts I have are:
1) what is your rep compared to others with a similar number of posts.
2) how consistently active are you (a few posts here and there or blocks of posting).
3) how are posts that seem well liked differing from your own (sometimes similar ideas are conveyed but some are certainly clearer and readily apprehended by a greater number of people.
4) how much rep do you spread?
5) where do you spend most of your time posting and on what kinds of threads?

And....last but NOT least....

6) why is reputation really important? what is the functionality of rep within the forum? (I see rep as something for everyone else, but the holder of rep.)
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Old 08-31-11, 06:59 PM
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Re: Ashamed to ask, but important to me

I sent you a private message.
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Old 09-01-11, 02:30 AM
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Re: Ashamed to ask, but important to me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pure19Ambition View Post
I am really sorry to ask this, but lately I'm kind of needing the support of positive thoughts. I'm swallowing my pride and just going to ask it - I've been on this forum for over a year and tried to help people with all I got to give. Maybe I'm over reacting or maybe my thoughts are running wild as hell right now... but my reputation is the only one of millions on this forum, left unchanged ever since my first posts in 2010. Please, it's really important for me to know. I've done what I can, is it me or do most not appreciate me ? I just thought this would be the one place where I would be really... at least be accepted. It's my safe haven, place of understanding and really love you guys.

I needed a vent, I've had better times. Sorry.
Honey, Ive felt like that on forums for years. I feel more accepted on this forum more so than I ever have.
I have been on many others I dont know if its just because majority of them are NTs but I ad always felt like you do and it felt like people were just ignoring me. I have social anxiety and find it hard to feel accepted by people and liked so I know what you are going through sweets.

I always worried whether my posts are worthy enough to others or if they like me etc. But I just want to say please dont feel this way here honey because I am sure you are accepted here more than you think. I understand that you have sad days like this and its probably what it is one of those days, I have random days where I feel unloved and just seeking for some acceptance and love and if its one of those days for you then here is some love from me. I think your awesome and want you to post on here and keep offering support even better post what is on your mind and we will be happy to help.

(((hug))) hope you feel better soon
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  #7  
Old 09-01-11, 02:38 AM
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Re: Ashamed to ask, but important to me

I feel the same way, when you see people with 10,000 post and 4,000 likes you know who the popular ones are, but it's not because they are popular and brag about it, its because they have been here for a long time and help people out. If you want to be a asset to a forum you must try and do your best by helping people with problems they go through and do your best by posting good material and your non bias opinion.

I believe people appreciate you, you need to give your self more credit.
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Old 09-01-11, 02:43 AM
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Re: Ashamed to ask, but important to me

I only recently discovered the thanks button.
I think Ive got a quite a few thanks, I'm surprised with my shabby and scattered posts lol but I try not to dwell on the fact that I dont have as many as others.
Ive never been popular and I dont think I ever will be.
Dont worry too much about it honey, I think the ones with the more thanks are usually the more experienced ones and most likely been here longer too.
Popularity isnt always what its made out to be.
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Old 09-01-11, 02:46 AM
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Re: Ashamed to ask, but important to me

Pinkroxy is right, Popularity is not always what is made out to be. As my pshycologist would say, Close your eyes, take a deep breath with your nose and slowly breath out. Don't let these thoughts beat you. Your strong and we need you to stay strong to help our fellow adhd brothers and sisters and also for our whole community.
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Old 09-01-11, 06:53 AM
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Re: Ashamed to ask, but important to me

'Reputation'? What is this... 'Reputation' thing? Can you eat it?



Your real reputation on these forums is far more important than some silly forum feature

EDIT: What is important however, is that people stole my 2 arcade game titles!
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Old 09-01-11, 06:59 AM
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Re: Ashamed to ask, but important to me

people tend to forget to thank you
It happens all the time.
It's not that they don't want to... but they forget (Esp. here on this forum)

Don't be hard on yourself, if you do the best you can... nobody can tell you to do more
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Old 09-01-11, 08:25 AM
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Re: Ashamed to ask, but important to me

Be kind, be supportive, be helpful; the rest will take care of itself.


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Old 09-01-11, 08:37 AM
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Re: Ashamed to ask, but important to me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pure19Ambition View Post
I am really sorry to ask this, but lately I'm kind of needing the support of positive thoughts. I'm swallowing my pride and just going to ask it - I've been on this forum for over a year and tried to help people with all I got to give. Maybe I'm over reacting or maybe my thoughts are running wild as hell right now... but my reputation is the only one of millions on this forum, left unchanged ever since my first posts in 2010. Please, it's really important for me to know. I've done what I can, is it me or do most not appreciate me ? I just thought this would be the one place where I would be really... at least be accepted. It's my safe haven, place of understanding and really love you guys.

I needed a vent, I've had better times. Sorry.
This is one of those things I struggle with because I am not sure if you are genuinely asking a question, if you are just venting a feeling or are if you just wanting some rep points - maybe it is e- none of the above.

I suck at emotional support, I tend to be practical so please bare this in mind when you read my response. My lack of emotional appeal is a reflection of me.



βĩο₱Ħعℓĩᶏ made some good points


Activity patterns - Those members who are here on a regular basis are more readily recognized by other members thus what they say gets noticed because the other members have had more interaction and therefore have gained a history with them. With that being said this "history" can swing both ways.

People who are genuine and try to help in a supportive manner are more likely to get good rep points how ever those who tend to be jerks being a regular member can mean others are more likely to give negative rep points and this negative pattern can have a snow ball effect.

Meaning those who start out bad can have a hard time turning it around because other members begin taking every thing they post in a negative manner even when it is not intended that way. Being seen as mean never brings out the best in groups of people, being ADHDers does not make us any different in that respect.


Where you are active - Do you have a section home. Do you post in a section on a regular basis? Those to tend to hang out in one of the larger section in the main forum get to know other member who also hang in the same area - Again recognition brings about appreciation.

This is less true for those who make their home chit-chat There are members here who are not recognized outside of our chit chat area.

I have seen people post in general whom I did not know even though they have 200+ post, been here for a year. When I look at their posting history I find out that they rarely if ever post outside of the chit chat area. I rarely go in that section which explains my unfamiliarity.

This is not to say those in chit-chat do not give rep points but the jovial nature of the area generally means rep and thanks are less thought about because most folks go there to play around so what is posting there are not taken as seriously as those in the support sections.

Those posting in general, relationships, medications ect are seeking some forum of support and when they receive it they are more likely to show appreciation by using the rep system or the thanks feature for no other reason than they are in a more serious mode.

A few folks hang out in less busy areas of the forum and may not receive as much recognition simply because there are fewer people and less traffic - This in no way makes a posting any less valuable. Post in "learning disorders" do not get seen by as many people as post in General ADHD. More traffic means more chances to be recognized and appreciated - law of probability.


Last of all quality - How other members are treated, a given perhaps but worth mentioning. Some times ADHDers respond impulsively, or respond tongue in cheek (I think is what it is called) manner to a serious post. Some times the off the cuff remark goes unappreciated by some one who is upset and looking for serious support or help

Effort - I do give positive rep points to post that have a few sentences if the post is exceptional but I am more likely to recognize and show my appreciation to some one who has taken the time and made the effort to type out a decent post with some detail or personal reference.

One or two liner have to be damn good or I have to know the member has a LD that makes posting more than that impossible for me to rep a one or two liner but that is a personal preference. I am sure there are those who don;t read much less give rep points to post over four or five lines.

For those of us who have been around awhile and have gained several points I know for myself I receive bad rep as well as good rep At one time I did post a lot in here - and well not every one likes me or my posting - I have points because those who like me either out number those who hate me or those who like me are able to give out more points each time It a theory , accuracy is another matter


Some people feel awkward about their rep status - Those who have back boxes instead of green or red boxes have r chosen to have rep points hidden from view. This does not necessarily mean they have negative rep.

A black box simply means for one reason or another the member chose not to display it - Some folks focus to much on it and are afraid to post for fear of having a negative rep so they chose to turn it off even if they have very decent rep points. Some moderators will chose to hide their rep points as a form of demonstrating neutrality or to denture members from trying to use it as a means of retaliation.

For any who are interested in hiding your rep points - go to "User CP", located upper left. Left Navigation under "Setting and Options" fourth choice ""edit options" , a page will pull up. "Show your rep level" is the second choice, uncheck the box next to show your rep level, scroll to the bottom of the page click "save changes" Wala other members will no longer be able to see your points.



You will still be able to get rep points it just that other member won't be able to see any thing but a black box.

Hope this helps . . . .
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Old 09-01-11, 08:38 AM
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Re: Ashamed to ask, but important to me

It's crazy . . . when I first got here, I barely noticed the little green dots by my name. Now that I have a few, I find myself county my candy and wanting more. . .

But seriously, the "thanks" button and the rep system kind of overlap and fight with each other. And as much as I *want* the recognition, I'm ashamed to admit that the number of reps I've handed out I can count on one hand
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Old 09-01-11, 08:39 AM
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Re: Ashamed to ask, but important to me

And since your here Pure19Ambition , Johnny is sure you have pure ambition to be successful in your life. As a question will always get an answer, no matter how random the question or thought may be.

So keep walking

Johnny Walker.
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