Adult with ADD's problems with time management/procrastination

[Dreameralive_sky]

I have a bad time with procrastination sigh. When i read others stories i felt like i don't have the condtion at all. Or maybe i was just lazy.

Recently i closed a project last week. I was a leader but i was not motivated. I know i have alot to do but i waited the last minute to do it. But i was not willing to see my group getr poor marks so i force myself to work through the night till the morning to get more works done. I want to do my part as leader. It is what i should do. I don't know why i am not as efficient as my friends. I don't know why i am not motivated like them. Everything in my life are delayed until the last second that i get it done. For past 4 years i have been late to school everyday. I woke up early, very early, but thinking i have alot of time, i slacken and wait till the last second to prepare my stuffs. till i am late. I am always behind the time and from tests to exams. I need to take alot of efforts than others in order to keep myself ahead. I just cannot motivate myself to do my works on time, do my projects earlier, study my tests earlier. I have zero motivation, or at least not sufficient. But yet, I have so many dreams and hopes for my future. Where can i find the solution out? My time management problems stem way from i was a kid maybe 8 years old or something. Lazy or? What can i do?

I hate myself for being this way. Can anyone help me out?

All helps appreciated!~

[paulbf]

A lot of it is plain old bad habits, not that the ADHD doesn't get the ball rolling initially but then it becomes much worse once ingrained. The main answer I think is breaking the task into smaller pieces & just doing them, maybe on some kind of schedule and getting someone to work with, like a study group for school where you agree to meet twice a week for instance.

Did you see the recent thread I started about procrastination & reward?

[Dreameralive_sky]

yes i have saw your recent thread.
Rewards does not really help for me because i tried it by buying things for me. the problem is now i am too broke to do this now. I am really very broke. It makes me very anxious and irritable when i have no money. And unlike some people having their parent as the atm for cash withdrawal, I cannot. I am sorry i don mean it is a problem by been born in well to do family.. I think it is my pms! ignore me..
Not only is it a habit. I seem to find it a "kick" by having things rush for me. I love the feeling of adrenaline pooling my blood. Erm i think so? I get a good feeling when things are settled when the adrenaline rush is over. I think so. However sometimes when i don meet my target shedule i get terribly sad and depressed for long time.

[paulbf]

The adrenaline rush is kicking in your own natural ritalin so it's natural that feels good. Maybe you could do what they suggested pretending you are a secret spy & are saving the world and must finish your paperwork quickly before the enemy comes... LOL

It's OK we luv ya anyway

: - )

[Dreameralive_sky]

Oh okay. Thanks for the love and suggestions!
I will pretend about being the saviour of the world. Hey it does really sound like fun since i love pretending. Everyday i would pretend my hamster is my friend and talk to him everyday. Er... hee hee *blush*
Thanks i will try if it works out! I hope it will. Or maybe i also can pretend that the dateline is tomorrow which is not so that i can lie to myself in order to get it done earlier and on time. Does it sound better? Hee hee

[Dreameralive_sky]

This forum is the most wonderful thing i have saw on the internet! I will check it out every day whenever i am online!

[paulbf]

LOL
glad it helped

[Dreameralive_sky]

Ok so what else beside medicines going to help me get rid of procrastination and lack of time management. I can't say how much i am envy of my friends who always stay wonderfully ahead of time. How can i do to be just like them? Can anyone help me out? I really care about my future. But somehow i feel i am not working hard enough. Like in the past when i was a child, i had sleep in the day and suddenly in the night like 3am i had forgotten about my spelling test and i had cry and get my one of my family member to wake up and help me out with my spelling. It is not once but many times. See, another poor time management. I cannot recall a time i stay ahead of time.
In the morning, no matter how much i slept i feel tired. And i drink coffee alot to wake myself up. No matter how much i sleep i get tired. Upon waking, my mind will always be having racy thoughts. then i need to hear some music to calm down. Why??
How can i put a stop to procrastination? I am 21 and i had enough. I wanna put a stop to it before it kills my future. Making a list sometimes doesn't help. I often forget about it and i cannot really keep up with the list.
Help me anyone??
Thanks a million in advances. I don't really want to see a doctor on this..

[charlie]

What do you do now to help yourself manage deadlines?
Do you have an organizer or software program to remind you of upcoming deadlines? Priortizing is one of my weakest points and I'll be watching to see how others reply hoping to get some tips on this as well.

I like the idea I read somewhere on forum of a white eraser board calendar that sticks to your fridge. If you don't want to spend much money on this you can easily just buy the eraser pens and write on the fridge it will wipe off. My kids like to use the pens to write each other notes on the bathroom mirror ~~entertaining and easily wiped off.

I know when it comes to paying bills I have a magnetic eraser board as soon as I can stand to open the bills the due date and amount goes on the board. That way at a glance I know what's coming up and don't feel the panic of forgetting a bill. Feels great to erase them as they're paid!

All appointments are writen in on our calendar.

Searching forum for time management following are copies of two different posts from Smooch
"...recognize the following cycle which is very common among adults with ADD:

Something "startles" your psychological system, a change or transition, a disappointment or even a success. The precipitant may be quite trivial. This "startle" is followed by a mini-panic with a sudden loss of perspective, the world being set topsy-turvy. You try to deal with this panic by falling into a mode of obsessing and ruminating over one or another aspect of the situation. This can last for hours, days, even months.

Plan scenarios to deal with the inevitable blahs. Have a list of friends to call. Have a few videos that always engross you and get your mind off things. Have ready access to exercise. Have a punching bag or pillow handy if there's extra angry energy. Rehearse a few pep talks you can give yourself, like, "You've been here before. These are the ADD blues. They will soon pass. You are O.K."

******Expect depression after success. People with ADD commonly complain of feeling depressed, paradoxically, after a big success. This is because the high stimulus of the chase or the challenge or the preparation is over. The deed is done. Win or lose, the adult with ADD misses the conflict, the high stimulus, and feels depressed********

"Hallowell and Ratey wrote a book, Driven to Distraction, and it is always recommended as one of the first books to read when one is dx'd with ADHD. The complete list is in that book, but there are several websites that have been given permission to reprint the list. Here's one: http://www.addresources.org/article_50_tips_adult.php

If you go by the book (highly recommended ), you might consider sharing it with him/encouraging him to read it also. Same suggestion for the 50 Tips list"

I know I should have searched BEFORE posting Good info, huh!

[Dreameralive_sky]

Hello Charlie

Oh actually it just made me wonder the only deadlines i met are those concerning school assignments and projects, those that are short term based and does not require intensive concentration like studying for exams. Therefore studying for exams and tests deadlines, those self-imposed deadlines, i can never make it through. However, i am regular and on time in submitting my projects and homeworks. All because i am just not good with exams, i suffer terrible grades. And another problem i faced intensively is during when i need to perform a procedure full of steps, i can never do it. I can give you examples like Home economics when after someone told me a list of procedures, i forgot how to do it. Another example is when i have a laboratory session and i was instigated a procedures of steps, i also tend to forget or get confused as to what is next. I find it difficult to follow up when i look at my classmates, they just do not have this problem like me. What do you suggest i do for this problem??

[bekindtoedward]

i have the same problem. and except for getting a secretary, i've tried all the tricks, nothing works.

are you on medications by the way?

[Dreameralive_sky]

Well, no not on medication
But along the years with difficulties coping, i had found drinking coffeee extremely more regular for me. Anyway i am trying out all over again. I am not giving up. Never. I have more newer tricks to try now. Wish me luck.

[charlie]

Hi again ADD hamster,
I've copied a few tips after searching google for "Driven to Distraction time management":

"If you are disorganized and don't learn to set priorities, stress will be the overriding factor in your entire ...school experience. If you set up workable systems for yourself early on, your anxiety level will decrease dramatically. "

..." Time management is based on organization, priority, and focus."

"The most important rule in time management is this: Don't let anyone tell you there is only one way to manage your time. Devise a system that works for you, and keep it simple"

"Lame Excuses"
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.”
“I’m so busy, I just can’t get around to it.”

1. start each day by identifying the single most important task I have to accomplish today, no matter what
2. At the end of the day, I plan my priorities for tomorrow and take one step toward accomplishing the most important one

http://www.onlineorganizing.com/Clie...ent_Blocks.htm


you must do a task, please get started on it as soon as it’s assigned. If you say you’ll start it later, chances are you won’t until the last minute, at which point you probably won’t have time to do a good job.


And when you reach a hard part, struggle for no more than 15 seconds. The odds are that additional struggling won't help. At the 15-second mark, decide to get help, to come back to it later, or that there’s a way to complete the task without doing the hard part. People tend to procrastinate hard tasks because they know they’ll be struggling with the hard part forever—that’s painful. The 15-second struggle technique will make tough tasks less odious. " quoted from following link

<http://www.martynemko.com/pub/articles/howto.shtm>

Well while I'm surfing procrastination sites I'm putting off chores, so I'll touch bases with you later, let us know what ends up working for you!

ps Have you looked for any ADD coaching or groups in your area?

[Dreameralive_sky]

Erm no..in my country having ADD is very rare or something not many people are aware. When i am disorganized, fatigue no energy, could not concentrate, procrastinate, bad sense of time judgement, i think people around me just FEEL i am just lazy. People in my country does not stress on mental health..they mostly think it is kind of willed and your will to do things you don't like..Something like that..So i don have any external help towards this problem. People just say i am lazy. But in the end, i REALLY do hand in my assignments and others on time, but just that everytime, i am rushing in the last minute. Do u understand it? I stress myself up when i am rushing everything everyday, everytime. From going to school in the morning i rush, i run, i hurry...and so on. I only can cope with simple unchaotic things. HAHA... When i rush things out, the quality really is lousy.

Thanks charlie for the information. I will get them down on paper and follow. Actually i had just taken my lunch and soon i feel fatigue again and couldn't get down on my works. I am having exams soon and i have alot of things like laundry, cleaning my room, packing my notes, taking care of my hamster, but i have yet to do a single thing. It is not like the first time this happen to me.! I feel like crying. At this time in the past experiences i will be drinking coffee but in the end too much made me nausea or dizzy and diarrhoea. In this morning i wanted to go jogging but i could not remember why i didn't go. I remember waking up at 3am and couldn't sleep and when i fall asleep i didn't went to jog. And i have been not excercising for long time. It is always like that.

[pinkie]

I'm pretty sure I know how you feel. It's a nasty cycle that keeps repeating itself. I felt completely miserable about my life this summer when I was taking very hard classes that I had an awful time studying for, and to boot they were held at 8am every day. So that made it even worse because I'm a night owl and do my homework late at night. Finally the semester ended and I passed the classes (one I'm convinced just by pity) and now I'm taking easier classes that are later in the day and my life is better. So I don't really have any suggestions for that other than that you just need to make a change somehow that will throw off this cycle of frustration and unmotivation so that you can have another chance to get things organized.

As for time management, I too am terrible at this. I'm always late, even if I wake up early...one morning this week I missed 3 buses that were headed to campus, the 9:00, 9:05, and 9:15. My class started at 9:30, but I had to catch the 9:30 bus so I got there at 9:45. I had been up since 8:00.

However, I did discover that usually the bus is what can get me to class on time. As long as I make the 9, 9:05, or 9:15 bus I can make it to class on time. I know if I drive I will be late because I will leave too late to be able to find parking and walk to class on time. So if you can do something like that, make yourself depend on public transportation so that you know you have to make the bus, then maybe that could help you be on time more often.