Those who thrive on forums -- and those who don't

[Retromancer]

I have thinking about what type of psychological profile thrives in the forum setting -- and what type doesn't. I can see that it isn't necessarily reflective of overall functionality or psychological stability. In fact the inverse may well be true.

I have come to the conclusion that one of the most adaptive -- in the Darwinian sense -- profiles in a forum environment would be an unemployed person, going through the 'hypomanic' phase of bipolar disorder. Who better to spend the long hours here, compulsively posting and initiating / maintaining contacts? That's how you establish a forum presence. Those who don't make the posts and leave the profile messages eventually drop out of sight, ignored. Ironically those are the ones that are likely to have competing demands on their time and have less need of a channel for their obsessive focus.

Back to washing dishes. Your thoughts on this?

[salleh]

Perhaps on the surface .....but I suspect that most forums are peopled by folks who have something in common ......

I think that on this particular forum, some folks come to find out how to deal with having ADD, or a child/spouse/significant other with ADD......some people don't join some do .....and many get all they can out of it, and then move on .,.....



Some people find they can helpe others .....and they stick around so that they can drop pearls of wisdom, most likely through hard personal experience.....this is NOT a flame remark ....I am completely serious about pearls of wisdom .....there are some very helpful people around here.....


as for me .....I have been around for more than I year now, and I still can't quite come to grips with being ADHD......so while I don't visit and contribute as much as I did in the beginning.....I still come back for help, and understanding .....


......which is the main reason I think that lots of us stick around ....this is the one place we have where we are the norm ......even with all our differences, we all share so many of the same frustrations and problems and it's nice to be understood ( mostly !)


then there is the thing about time .....modern life is so complicated, and demands so much of your time that people find it hard to find time to spend with their friends in person .....and there are those who have trouble finding people around them that they can relate to, but here there are people we could never have the chance to meet, sheer distances prevent that.....


......so friendship is a big reason to come to forums ......I personally have made several "real time" ( rather than "real life", which I think demeans friends made on the internet) friends......



....Of course, like real time friends ....who come and go in anyone's life, so too, do internet friends and friendships come and go ......

[stef]

Do you mean these formums in particular? I never thought of "establishing a forum presence". It's just such a relief to find so many people who actually know what you're talking about. I would post more if I could.

I couldn't say there's a particular profile, I think people come in and out of here according to their time & needs.

[RedHairedWitch]

Part time worker here, no bipolar.

One also has to take into account technology and ease of access. I am literally posting this whilst the waiting at the bus stop. From my phone.

A lot of people who posts lots on forums are also perhaps isolated. Such as the stay at home Mom who doesn't get out much.

[Spacemaster]

"Such as the stay at home Mom who doesn't get out much."

Girl, I hear that! That is me, and it drives me absolutely nuts! It's nice to even just have discussions with adults that have the same problems.

[Blueranne]

Why do you care Retromancer?

[sarek]

On MBTI specific forums I get the impression that NP type people are very active whereas ST's are much less so.
In fact in a rather surprising reversal of the real life situation, the otherwise introverted INFP's have the most active sections.

[Saboit]

You are right all of you who posted.
Id like to add that:
Based on expeirence!
1.some people are at going through really tough times and cant devote themselves.
2.like me, maybe there are more people here whose english is not their native language and so its not easy for them to write(writing skills) not to mention adhd which contribute to that problem, plus maybe an ld is present an. there are mant factors.
These two are what i have expernces durinf my time here
I will add that sometimes i think about you when i am going thriugh tough times and it helps a lot.
Sorry, currently writing on my phone

[blgw99]

An intersting thread.

I've been on many forums, several of them also local to my area and made real life friends with people I've met. Something I've been told more than once is that the impression I make online is very different to how I look in person.

Basically, I manage to appear rational, well-argumented, funny and charismatic in writing, but often leave a really bad impression in person.

This was especially valid when I was not aware of the fact that I have ADHD and how my behavior and conversation style might annoy people (precisely the features that are often filtered out in written communication!).

Having a lot of energy and free time to contribute definitely plays an important part as well, whatever the reason.

[ginniebean]

I'm not good at 'establishing a forum presence, I posted a lot and for my first year here I think I conversed very irregularly with maybe 5 people.

I'm terrible about dropping notes and stuff on profiles, I wish I were better at reaching out that way. I'm just not.

I work often over 200 hrs a fortnight. ( I severely need to work on my work addiction)

I have no idea what my forum presence is, I post because I care, and I want information out there that needs to be out there written by someone with ADHD. (whether that detracts from the credibility or not) some think I'm nice and some don't. Maybe I'm too controversial I don't know.

I don't know if anyone 'thrives' on the forums. I'm not thriving, my life is a mess. I'm finally starting to be able to be open about that. This forum gets so many posts from grad students I can't relate. I was in trouble scholastically in kindergarten.

To me, you're an old standard, your short pithy comments are sobering, funny and love your sarcasm when I actually get that it is sarcasm.

Do I think this forum represents the true face of ADHD, hell no. This is more of a hothouse of many who are doing extremely well.

It is frustrating that the other side of that coin is so under-represented, unbelieved, taunted and sneered at as malingerers and whiners which is such a common epithet. Mental health stigma is alive and well, especially of the internalized kind.

I really do not believe that the over thirty five crowd are well represented on this forum. Most of this demographic was never diagnosed and received no interventions as children. Research is not around for ADHD and aging so even tho I feel we have a lot to offer there's just no place specifically for it. It's probably one of two things that would make this forum more functional for a large percentage of people who post here.

Just my thoughts.

[K-Funk]

I work in front of a computer all day and I have an addictive personality so combine that with an eagerness to learn all I can about ADHD and share my experiences and understand the experiences of others with this disorder then you have the perfect recipe for a relatively consistent online presence, at least from my end.

In real life I am very outgoing and talkative and get excited easily, am funny and have a real enthusiasm for life. So....I guess the introvert reversal theory doesn't hold true for me.

[fracturedstory]

I started getting really into forums to keep my post count up. Now I just know in order to feel like you belong you need to assert yourself early on and show that petty arguments or even personal attacks won't get a rise out of you.

I do the overly rational thing too, probably not here because people aren't as black and white thinking as other communities (like Wrong Planet).

I don't have Bipolar though I am unemployed. I probably get to talk more on of forum because in the real world I barely speak unless medicated and talking about my interests. But I never get the chance to talk as long as some of my average-sized forum posts.

[Possum]

Originally Posted by ginniebean

I really do not believe that the over thirty five crowd are well represented on this forum. Most of this demographic was never diagnosed and received no interventions as children. Research is not around for ADHD and aging so even tho I feel we have a lot to offer there's just no place specifically for it. It's probably one of two things that would make this forum more functional for a large percentage of people who post here.

Just my thoughts.

I have to agree with this. It would be great to have more participation from people who are 35+ I enjoy the "kids" here, but I do wish that there were more of my own peers, also. This is part of the reason that my appearances here kind of make me seem like the Cheshire Cat - I sort of fade out/fade in. I get tired of reading the same old posts on adderall shortages, what's the right dose of whatever med someone may be taking, etc. But then I'll come back here and read something like that great post you made a few days back about trying to function and taking ritalin despite the fact it has caused you some psychosis, washing your hair with conditioner, grieving for your dad's final days, and then your feelings when he passed yesterday.

I laughed at that and then got tears in my eyes. I could so relate to what you wrote, Ginnie. I hope we folks here are giving you the support you need as you go through this bad, no good time.

It's people like you who keep me from abandoning this place.

[Impetus]

Employed, full time and no bi polar.... seriously, I have papers! (this used to be a source of obsessive anxiety for me, so I got tested to know for sure. and I wasn't, and I stopped worrying about it! cause there's other things that need worryin' over, like did I get the fertilizer wet enough so it doesn't get on the dog's feet? Can fertilizer soak into the pads of my dog's feet? if she smelled fertilizer on her feet, would she lick them? I can keep going you know...)

do I "hang out" here, no I don't think so.... I know it *looks* like I'm always here, but I'll post, then buzz around the house, watch a you tube video on how to hand bi fold closet doors, clean the bathroom, and whatever else I can get into.

the forums seem helpful to me cause

a) it makes me feel like less of an outcast/weirdo.

b) there's other folks further along in their life w/ADD journeys, and I appreciate their insight, pearls of wisdom dropping.

c) I need someone to chatter at.... who better than a bunch of other ADD'ers? NT's just don't care for extensive belly button lint examining quite like we do.

d) sometimes I need someone to give it to me straight. Only a fellow ADD'er has the gonads to just lay it all on the table. and sometimes, to be honest, I just won't get it through my thick skull any other way! No matter how much most NT's love you, they just can't seem to play things very straight!

[Clayjar]

I am off/on on this forum. But I do love Facebook. Even though I am just recently unemployed, I still did keep an online presence when I had a job.

I am very introverted and uncomfortable with people in person or on the phone. I am very funny with people, but there are very few people I feel close to. But online with Facebook and other forums, I keep in contact and make funny comments. With this forum, I feel I am not the only one suffering from ADD. I felt alone with the pain, but to see everyone describing what I experienced is refreshing.

I am 38 years old with a mortgage, wife and 2 kids but still make time when everyone is asleep.