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  #1  
Old 12-22-11, 03:57 AM
athyme athyme is offline
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ADD and weak identity

Does anybody else have this problem? I have a very weak sense of my own identity, and I thought that it might have something to do with the inability to really dig into any particular thing or finish anything or sustain any friendship or make any decision. Thanks.
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  #2  
Old 12-22-11, 04:19 AM
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Re: ADD and weak identity

What is "Weak sense of identity?"

I have ADHD. I have limited attention, limited ability to manage specific issues and impaired executive functioning. I have NO problem with who I am.
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Old 12-22-11, 05:03 AM
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Re: ADD and weak identity

What I mean is that my sense of self isn't strong or constant. I feel like one of those billboards that change when you move. I have trouble introducing myself to people because I'm not sure who I am, what I do, what I like or dislike. It seems like it's related to indecision and to never staying with anything. Like my identity is just another thing I've left half done and half read. Does that make sense?
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Old 12-22-11, 06:37 AM
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Re: ADD and weak identity

This I think is to do with self-concept. Which relates to confidence, self-esteem, and also stability in self-identity.

Apparently I have problems in this area. I do change around a lot, mostly as I get bored. But also one of my friends said that apparently I'm the sort of person who will believe anything bad about myself that anyone says about me, and apparently to her it's like I have some sort of 'selfdysmorphia' (a neologism she made up, I think the implied meaning is that I have a 'distorted sense of self'). I'll look over the DBT book I've got to see what it says about stuff like this, as I think it probably has some stuff on working on improving this (NB not a specific ADHD issue per se, although the connors scale measures self-concept as well as ADHD behaviours).

= )
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Old 12-22-11, 06:48 AM
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Re: ADD and weak identity

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Originally Posted by athyme View Post
Does anybody else have this problem? I have a very weak sense of my own identity, and I thought that it might have something to do with the inability to really dig into any particular thing or finish anything or sustain any friendship or make any decision. Thanks.
You mean for example adapting in social situations in order to fit in more? Not sure what to say in case it doesn't fit with those you're socialising with so trying to work out what would be acceptable, rather than saying what your actual opinion is? If you have one at all?
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Old 12-22-11, 09:16 AM
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Re: ADD and weak identity

I know what you mean OP. I'm 32 years old and still don't really know what I want out of life or who exactly I am. I believe ADD definitely has something to do with it.
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Old 12-22-11, 09:26 AM
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Re: ADD and weak identity

I think people who have the problem you described will immediately know what you mean and relate, maybe those that need a clarification don't have it - AND IT'S FINE!

That's what I think...

And yes I can relate, will add more when I feel better...

I am weak today, and my posts suffer... I have many posts pending for reply(from tommorow) and I only managed to write 3 sentences in 2 hours!!!!
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Old 12-22-11, 09:46 AM
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Re: ADD and weak identity

I can relate to that, I used to have the same issue a few years ago. Going to psychotherapy really helped me a lot to understand who I am. I think I know now who I am, but when people keep reflecting towards me all their hateful messages such as "you're a lazy person who's just gonna ruin her life", I get to feel so unsure about myself, about who I am, it's really mind-blowing...
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Old 12-22-11, 11:51 AM
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Re: ADD and weak identity

It's hard to have a concrete sense of self when you're continually reacting to your environment rather than responding through consistent behavior.
I have pondered this a lot and it seems that the less control I have over my own actions and behavior the less I feel like I am able to define myself.

If you are not consistent in how you think, feel, behave etc how can you truly define yourself?

Under these circumstances we are more prone to the opinions and projections of others who reflect back to us images of ourselves that most often differ from the people we are actively trying to be.

Defining oneself in the face of being considered lazy, stupid, crazy etc adds an extra burden that proves to be an uphill battle.
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Old 12-22-11, 03:12 PM
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Re: ADD and weak identity

Using MBTI (Myers Briggs) I have been able to have a reference point for an identity that I agree with and works with me.

There is nothing wrong with having an identity that is associated with being adaptable, dynamic, and curious.
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Old 12-22-11, 04:58 PM
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Re: ADD and weak identity

I know what you mean, I think. I struggle when people ask me things like what my interests are, what my favourite band is etc I have no answer. I have literally NO idea what my interests are, or my favourite band.

I often find I don't have opinions on subjects and I adopt other peoples. I know it sounds weird, but I think it relates to the lack of self identity, but as you said also the inability to really spend time learning what I like and learning about things.
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Old 12-22-11, 05:07 PM
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Re: ADD and weak identity

this question is intersting as some years ago,I dont remeber if I told someone or told myself out-loud,but that I "feel" like a chameleon when I am out in social situtaions or talking with people.

Let's see if I can explain my definition of it..

Someone gets scared about something whom you are with,and u get scared also.Someone gets happy about getting to eat which they like,and you just absoloutley hate it and wouldnt eat it,yet you get excited,and possibly may even say something like,"yea,they arent too bad",but really you totally dislike it..

I dont know if that helps anyone,although lately as I have gotten older the last few years,I dont do it so much.It may be related to an acceptance issue,maybe from childhood,but The distinct difference between doing it for acceptance,and doing it as in the above chameleon reference is that the chameleon automatically conforms to his enviroment and it is almost automatic..

Whereas the acceptance issue,may be more of a concious effort and want to be accepted..

I hope this doesnt sound too much like rambling,but it is the closest I can come to trying to define what I think you are talking about.
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Old 12-22-11, 05:34 PM
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Re: ADD and weak identity

I know what you mean. I really don't know who I am either.

I use social isolation as a way to keep away people from asking me who I am and what things I want to do with my life.
It would be very depressing if I had to answer those two simple questions.
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Old 12-22-11, 05:41 PM
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Re: ADD and weak identity

It could be ADHD related. I have a strong sense of self but many interests that makes it hard for me to decide just what I want to do with my life. But I see myself as more a character in a book or film or cartoon show than just another person; the unchanging wardrobe, the wacky hair, the hyper personality, the quirkiness all make me feel like some character given a strong personality.
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Old 12-22-11, 05:45 PM
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Re: ADD and weak identity

Quote:
Originally Posted by fracturedstory View Post
It could be ADHD related. I have a strong sense of self but many interests that makes it hard for me to decide just what I want to do with my life. But I see myself as more a character in a book or film or cartoon show than just another person; the unchanging wardrobe, the wacky hair, the hyper personality, the quirkiness all make me feel like some character given a strong personality.
EXACTLY!
Though I don't have strong sense of self...
I don't know who I am, it is as simple as that.
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