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General Parenting Issues The purpose of this forum is to discuss general parenting issues related to children with AD/HD(ADD & ADHD)

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Old 10-07-04, 11:34 AM
fourpaula fourpaula is offline

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Question Helping my daughter and myself find friends

I have ADHD and I am unipolar (no ups just downs). I have a daughter age 9 and a son age 1. My daughter has ADHD, Bipolar, and OCD. As you could guess, my daughter has a very hard time making and keeping friends. Due to our dissorders I have trouble making friends as well. I would like to find other parents in my area with summilar situations and maybe form a social group, but I have no idea where to start. I live in Johnson City Tennessee. Any help or info anyone can give would be great.
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Old 10-07-04, 01:14 PM
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I don't know if this would be any help, but my Mother who has a social anxiety disorder (now takes Zolof and it helps her a lot) has always been painfully shy and has trouble making friends. She joined the woman's group at her church and her and my father get involved in volunteering for HUD homes. I don't know if your religious but you could join a church community and getting your child involved in the youth group. Also, there are volunteer societies like the the Cancer Society that does events like the Walk for Life and you could help organize or be a part of some volunteer group. Also she has made friends through work, so maybe if you worked somewhere that there was a lot of people and socializeing going on, like a call center. Encourage your daughter to get involved in school activities, find out what after school activities are going on and make her go to them. See if they have a softball team she can join for her age group (they have adult softball teams too!). I don't know if any of those suggestions help, but my thinking is that even if you don't want to and it's hard or it sucks, to try to put yourself in social situations where you are there for a common interest or reason and that may spark some friendships and help more with socializeing.

Hope that helps, take care and I hope that you and your daughter are able to find friends and support.
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Old 10-07-04, 03:33 PM
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Have you tried extra curricular activities such as sports? I know that I have met most of my friends while we watched our kids at practices or games. Remember to smile even if you don't feel like it and do not shy away from conversations. It's a skill your going to have to force/master or at least for a lot of people myself included it didn't come naturally. And it gives your daughter a chance to interact with other children hopefully finding one or two she has hobbies/likes/dislikes in common with.
Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming, "WOW! What a ride!!"

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Old 10-08-04, 06:14 PM
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Mother & Daughter Make New Friends

Book Club for moms and daughters: I found this book online for you. Have not read it, so check it out. The Mother-Daughter Book Club: How Ten Busy Mothers and Daughters Came Together to Talk, Laugh and Learn Through Their Love of Reading by Shireen Dodson , Teresa Barker.
Welcome Committee: I happen to know that your town in TN has one of these. They have activities to make newcomers welcome. Perhaps you could participate, or if you are not new, welcome others. Either way, you are mixing & teaching your daughter the importance of feeling welcome
Girl Scouts (or functional equivalent): you are a leader & she is involved, too. Also, there is no competition or anxiety about being picked for teams, etc.
Cooking Class
Community Garden
Volunteer at an animal shelter or a children's hospital or a walk/run for your favorite charity. I like this one bc it helps us put our own problems in perspective.
Volunteer for your favorite Political Party or Politician. You'll meet lots of people who share your values & teach your daughter the importance of her vote.
Gym or Ladies Spa
Chadd Meetings
Organize an outing & Invite other parents and kids. If you do the work the first time, it will be easier for others to accept your invitation. FREE: park, beach, mountain hike, library, tour a factory (candy manufacturing-yum) or a police department . . . blah, blah.
I hope you have some fun, GD
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