ADD Women and cooking with children

[fivesofar]

I am wondering: does anyone else recoil at the thought of cooking with their children? Baking cookies together is supposed to be this classic ritual of family togetherness, but I can't stand to have anyone in the kitchen with me when I cook.

It seems silly, but that one issue sort of represents all of the lack of accomplishment as a mother for me.

[Nucking_Futs]

When I'm preparing the main meal I want everyone out as well. But, I do let the kids help with side dishes, deserts and snacks. They have to start somewere right?

[Wheezie]

Originally Posted by fivesofar

I am wondering: does anyone else recoil at the thought of cooking with their children? Baking cookies together is supposed to be this classic ritual of family togetherness, but I can't stand to have anyone in the kitchen with me when I cook.

It seems silly, but that one issue sort of represents all of the lack of accomplishment as a mother for me.

You are not alone!!! Especially with baking where you have to be so precise, and keep careful track of what step we're on. It's hard enough *without* distractions! And one small mistake = disaster!!! I hate that moment where you taste the end product, something isn't quite right, you look back at the recipe and realize that it says 1tsp of salt, *not* 1 Tbls.

It *really* used to bother. Now, not so much. I have no idea why....

If I knew ahead of time that I'd be cooking with kids, then it was o.k. I had time to plan out what they'd be doing. I knew I could keep them contained at the table. The general plan of attack is that one kid keeps there finger on the spot I'm at in the recipe, I measure, and the other kid dumps it in. And they *know* not to touch the bowl in between steps!!! (it scares them when I turn over to the dark side. )

But, I hate turning around and running into someone. And if I need something in the drawer that my husband is standing in front of .... well, let's just say that he's glad I don't have the power to call down lightning from the heavens...

So, the "knowing ahead of time" bit is key!!! I can get into a different mind frame, and just go with the mess and chaos rather than resisting it.

Have you read through this thread? There are a lot of us out there - or maybe it's the company we keep.... http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5653

welcome to the forums, fivesofar.

wheezie

[f_wcomboadhd]

OMG!!!
i am so GLAD you posted about this !
i love baking but i have to throw out dry ingredients sometimes b/c my husband or my four yr old son will distract me..and i'll lose count of flour or sugar ! i hate that!
and i feel so GUILTY b/c my husband is the one that introduces our son to cooking, as usual, my toddler (just turned four) is a picky eater , and you can get them more excited if you let them help-so my husband did that with mini pizzas..and it worked! but i cannot scrape up the patience to do that. i do feel horrible about it.
and as far as baking cookies and whatnot..
i'm too much of a perfectionist
and i have a well oiled machine process when it comes to that

another thing:
before i got on adderall last winter
i would have bad experiences cooking dinner
my entree and side dishes were always off time wise
my entree would be done
but we'd have to wait 20 min. to get our sides etc
my husband said he can see a serious change when i'm on adderall
b/c now i can do an entire meal and time it well..
i even invited my inlaws for dinner
it turned out great.

[Kimalimah]

I'm 100% with you on this one...and have also struggled with the feeling of being a failure as a Mom because I can't stand the thought of cooking or baking with my kids. I am fortunate because my husband isn't bothered by their chaos at all and so he does this with them.

Different strengths, different activities with the kids. Works pretty good most of the time and I have learned that it doesn't make me a bad mother. I am who I am and what counts is the love I show my kids in a hundred other small ways.

Kim

[Debs]

Everyone tells me I am a great cook. But I cannot bake though, anything that requires a recipe - I can't do it. And I always make things up as I go along so I can't always duplicate what I made if the family loves it. I make a HUGE mess in the kitchen and am not the least bit organized about it (I will go to the fridge 15 times instead of getting out everything I need). We dine out quite frequently and if I have something out that I liked I am able to figure out what things are in it and make it at home.

I don't do dishes though!! My husband goes to London on business and when he is gone I always call him telling him he needs to hurry home because there are no clean dishes and I can't possibly balance any more dirty ones in the sink!! I do somehow get them done before he comes home but it is by far the least favorite thing to do.

I forgot to talk about what the thread way about so I am adding it I have not taught my kids to cook either, it is way to messy and because I don't know how I do it -it is hard to teach someone else. Although they do know how to throw easymac into the microwave!!!

[Nucking_Futs]

Maybe, I'm a little different because I had never touched a pan until I got married. I seriously caught the kitchen on fire at least 3 times during our first year of marriage. I find it an important skill that all my children must have. I'm a grab it and if it looks like it'll fit into the recipe throw it in type cook. I follow a basic recipe but am constantly tweeking them to make them fit my likes and dislikes.

My kids started with easy things like tortillas for snacks. They love making them because they are messy and easy to make. I do hate when they insist on sitting on my one counter though while I"m trying to cook and my husband OOOO don't get me started there. lol

[Wheezie]

Originally Posted by Nucking_Futs

Maybe, I'm a little different ...

ROFLMAO!!! maybe??? BWAA HA HA HA !!!

Actually, though, not that different, (from me anyway, which isn't saying much ... ). I didn't start any fires, ummm, that I recall anyway.... Anywho, I was the quintessential absent-minded chef!!! When I'm in the company of non-ADDers, I am often the only one who can accurately answer the question, "How many times can you boil a pan dry before you have to throw it away?"

(In case you were wondering, Yes, it *was* an ADDer asking the question! )

W.

[P_Stampy]

since when is cooking some ritual for families?

[fasttalkingmom]

I have to be in the right mind to do it or I'm impatience.....

[Fly Away]

I so much appreciated reading your post. I am new here and newly on ADD meds. What finally prompted this course of action is that I was having a terrible time after school witht he kids doing homework, in the kitchen while I tried to cook dinner. I would try to follow a recipe and one of the kids would ask me for help with a math question. Ugh! Another would need help with a word. The 3 kids would be talking to me a once at times. I was a wreck trying to keep things straight and NOT burn dinner. On top of that the kids came home from school STARVING so everyone wants to eat fast! The last thing I wanted was for my kids to think I wasn't interested in helping or hearing about their day but I just could not process everything at once. I a working on getting better prepared (ha!) at this hectic time of the day but I hear ya about kids in the kitchen. I did want to say there are other ways to bond with your kids then by baking with them. If baking is tough find something else thats not as difficult and your kids will remember that they did something fun with you no matter what it was because the point is not that you make great cookies but you enjoyed each others company. As a side note- we are moving soon to a bigger place and I do plan on kicking everyone out of the kitchen when I cook so I can be a pleasant, less harried mom before dinner.

[savvygirl5000]

I am just amazed! I thought I was the only one in the world with these problems. I do not cook mainly because i do not have the patience to stand and wait for food to be done, not to mention how tedious it is. I have burnt many pan's of boiling water, baked goods in my day. I just forget about things.

[P_Stampy]

i remember hwen i was at school, in cooking...... i'd have a list of ingredients we had to get from the front of hte room.. only problem was that by the time i got to the front i forgot how much to get, and what i acutlaly needed to get too

[whiteraven]

I need a thread for add women and kids in general...
May I start one?
(wanders off to the thread spool)

[Nucking_Futs]

I don't see why not...send me the link via pm we may have some of the same issue's if you don't mind me butting in once in a while and I may have a hint or two for ya as well.