struggling with internal vs. physical

[dream.come.true]

I just joined the forum!

I am 21 years old. I grew up with a great family who always thought I was "different" in the best way possible. Creative, funky, outgoing, special, cool, MUSICAL, but when it came to sitting down and reading or doing homework... I was a basket case. Through middle school and high school I had D's and C's in most core subjects like math, english, science and history. looking back I think it was really because I wanted to play drums when I got home after school instead of get my homework out of the way. But I always got enough done to get credit for the class because I was a talker. My teachers took sympathy on me because I always paid attention in class and contributed to conversations.

fast forward to july 2010. I fell in love with my older sisters best friend (twice my age & 142 IQ) and drove across america to live/ work/ play with her. After 6 months of falling asleep, forgetting what to buy at the store, taking 5 minutes to put my boots on and being a lame boyfriend, she put her foot down. Either I go to the doctor and figure it out or move out. I went to the local "family clinic" who then pointed me to an amazing psychotherapist who then tested me for 3 months & made a suggestion that i start taking a physical stimulant. went back to the "family clinic" and started with Adderall XR 20 mg.

the results were ASTOUNDING. I could THINK!!!! I could get things done... I could stay up late enough to watch the movie before SHE fell asleep. my whole life was turning in a completely positive direction and I loved every part of it.

after a few slip ups of not taking the medication, i started to see the effects of not taking it. personal and professional. I was making mistakes in clients homes, I was costing our business money that we didn't have to waste, I ran out of gas on a very important bridge in NYC the day before the 10th anniversary of 9/11/01 with a truck FULL of furniture, which i then got into a car accident which cost me $5,000 because i forgot to pay my car insurance that month.... (still paying that one off)

I will cut to the chase here, I have been dealing with my adhd pretty well since the medication but I'm at a point now where I don't feel that exciting energy anymore. I can now wake up, take my medication, and go another 4 hours before my brain kicks into gear but my body still just sits there. I have so many responsibilities, so many reasons for needing to get out there and get stuff done but instead i sit... listen to music, research dust collection systems or maybe new cell phone technology. I'm at a point where I need to change. I've got to be able to wake up before 8 and get up before 9. I need to kick my butt!!!! I don't know how to physically get going any more...I've worked with my psychotherapist on this issue and would like some other input.

Do I need more medication? Should I switch medication? Do I need to read a book? Are there any methods that has worked for anyone?! I'll try anything... My life is too important to let wander...

[sarahsweets]

Hi and welcome! A few things come to mind ...firstly the euphoric like feeling fades fast and you really only get symptom control. Second it could be a dose issue. 20mg isn't all that high and most people need an increase at some point. Do you physically have problems sleeping or waking up?

[dream.come.true]

Thank you! I have trouble physically waking up. During the first two months of taking my medication, I was able to fly out of bed within five minutes of waking up. Now it's been about 11 months and I am starting to see less difference between days with medication and days without. Do you know what might be the next step up for me?