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Non-ADD Partner Support This is a support forum for non-ADD partners, spouses, and significant others offering feedback from both the ADD and non-ADD perspectives

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  #1  
Old 10-17-04, 04:51 PM
Mike911 Mike911 is offline
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I have some very sad news

For those of you who don't know what's been happening in my life, my undiagnosed overfocused ADD wife has asked for a separation and possible divorce. She did this about two weeks after we discovered she was pregnant with our second child. The news itself suprised me, the timing devastated me. I found a tremendous amount of support and validation in various support groups and forums such as these. Thank you.

Last Thursday, at our 16-week appointment with the OB-GYN, they couldn't find the baby's heartbeat. An ultrasound confirmed our worst fears. My wife had a 1 in 1000 occurrence: a "moler pregnancy." Essentially, two sperm fertilized the same ovum and the conflicting genetic materials caused the ovum to split into a baby and a "mole" - a tumor made up of a mish-mash of placental and amniotic cells. The "mole" can occasionally develop into a cancer, about 1 in 5 do, so we are awaiting the results on a biopsy now. There was nothing we did or could have done to cause or prevent this from happening. Babies rarely live past week 15 in a moler pregnancy.

We are both devastated beyond words. Plans for separating are on hold, at least for now. The entire landscape of our situation has changed, and we are both at a loss on what happens next.

Thank you in advance for your support and thoughts and prayers, my friends. So many of you have already contacted me expressing your support in our time of grief. Thank you.

Michael
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  #2  
Old 10-17-04, 05:39 PM
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Michael,

I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with both you and your wife.
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  #3  
Old 10-17-04, 07:10 PM
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Same here, Michael. Please accept condolences from the entire ADD Forums community.
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Old 10-17-04, 07:22 PM
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Michael,
Don't give up hope. You say molear babies rarely exist longer than 15 weeks and you were at the 16th week checkup.
Your family is in our prayers-- keep your spirits up.
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  #5  
Old 10-17-04, 10:53 PM
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Hi Mike,
You know you have my prayers and support.
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  #6  
Old 10-17-04, 11:23 PM
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Falling Star for You Mike

Dear Mike,
I'm so sorry about you sad news. I saw a falling star just now and wished peace for you and your wife.
Girl Driver
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  #7  
Old 10-17-04, 11:30 PM
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Mike,

I hope that if nothing else, you find comfort and solace in whatever it is that you might take this from in these troubled and hard times. Unfortunately, it seems as if distance would prevent me from offering any kind of help or assistance to you...so my best wishes, hopes, and prayers are with you now, and I hope that you can find support and guidance in the company of those around you.

I wish I could express my sympathy somehow better than I can here...but it is hard to seem sincere with typed word alone, and I can't exactly sign my name to this...oh well...

Yours,
Keith
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Old 10-18-04, 12:21 AM
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I really don't know what to say. Hopefully your doctor already mentioned that the prognosis for your wife is excellent. I'm sure you both will pull through. While it's not the same, my best friend lost her 3 year old son a few years ago, so I understand what you mean when you say you are devastated beyond words. The only things that helped her through were time and the support and love of friends. Both you and your wife have my sympathies.
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Old 10-18-04, 12:26 AM
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Mike,

Times like these make words seem so useless. I am so sorry you and your wife are going through this. It is very painful to lose a child under any circumstances. You both have my deepest sympathy.

-Viktoria
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Old 10-18-04, 09:22 AM
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I'm so sorry for your loss. You have to trust that things in life happen for a reason - hard as they may be.

Prayers are being said for your and your family.
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Old 10-18-04, 09:49 AM
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Michael,

My thoughts are with both you and your wife. I'm so sorry for your loss. You both have my deepest sympathy.
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  #12  
Old 10-18-04, 10:10 AM
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I'm so sorry Mike. I don't really know what to say either.
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  #13  
Old 10-18-04, 02:52 PM
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Mike this is very tragic news indeed. I'm all over it with you and your wife.

Please take care of each other and know we are thinking of you.
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Old 10-18-04, 08:30 PM
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Your pain brings tears. I can not imagine the pain. I will be thinking about you and hope that you find solace in the fact that so many people care about you.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike911
For those of you who don't know what's been happening in my life, my undiagnosed overfocused ADD wife has asked for a separation and possible divorce. She did this about two weeks after we discovered she was pregnant with our second child. The news itself suprised me, the timing devastated me. I found a tremendous amount of support and validation in various support groups and forums such as these. Thank you.

Last Thursday, at our 16-week appointment with the OB-GYN, they couldn't find the baby's heartbeat. An ultrasound confirmed our worst fears. My wife had a 1 in 1000 occurrence: a "moler pregnancy." Essentially, two sperm fertilized the same ovum and the conflicting genetic materials caused the ovum to split into a baby and a "mole" - a tumor made up of a mish-mash of placental and amniotic cells. The "mole" can occasionally develop into a cancer, about 1 in 5 do, so we are awaiting the results on a biopsy now. There was nothing we did or could have done to cause or prevent this from happening. Babies rarely live past week 15 in a moler pregnancy.

We are both devastated beyond words. Plans for separating are on hold, at least for now. The entire landscape of our situation has changed, and we are both at a loss on what happens next.

Thank you in advance for your support and thoughts and prayers, my friends. So many of you have already contacted me expressing your support in our time of grief. Thank you.

Michael
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  #15  
Old 10-19-04, 02:47 PM
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Michael:
my heart goes out to you, and we'll be keeping you in our prayers.
kevin
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