Do you actively try to learn how to disguise yourself as an NT?

[wiffy123]

HAHAHAHA cheers man. iev always been diferent cant spell to start with and adhd ,i dont even no who iam never minde trying to diskys it,my mate do call me a camilian as i can fit in anywhere but its not a conshush}thts a hard word rite there{ thing i just do it with out knowing if that makes sence.

[CheekyMonkey]

Originally Posted by sarek

I tried to a certain extent but I have always refused to renounce who I was. I felt that people will simply have to take me as I am and if not I will look for different people to be with.

I don't think learning some body language tricks counts as changing WHO I am. I'm the same person, I just have a few tricks up my sleeve.

[CheekyMonkey]

Originally Posted by fracturedstory

No way. If people have a problem with me then that's their problem. I'm a nice person who doesn't mean to be rude but trying any harder to fit in is just a lot of work, and at the end of the day I realise I prefer being on my own and praise my weirdness rather than suppress it.

I would only ever change myself for myself, i.e if it helped me get a job, meet a really good looking guitarist, and the whole experience of learning something new.

For the most part I am who I am, but if I'm meeting people for the first time I don't want them to think I'm standoffish or mean. If I can get those first impressions to show more of myself by acting a little more NT,then I'm fine with that. I don't really see it as being not myself, but rather adjusting my communication style to open the doors to all kinds of different people and opportunities.

I get your point though. I don't do it to the point of losing myself. I think it is probably different for Aspies too. It may be easier/less exhaustive for me to act NT than an Aspie. If it was harder than it already is I might not be so gung-ho about it.

[CheekyMonkey]

Originally Posted by stef

No way! I can co-exist happily with them but I'm not going out of my way to "play NT". I have enough to worry about as it is.

Well say you have some clients and you know that your job will be easier if you act more "normal" around them, just putting in effort to reciprocate body language and make small talk, etc. You wouldn't do it on principle?

In the end, I do it for my own benefit....not others. I do it because it makes my life easier. I don't have to do it all the time, but understanding how it works and using it to my advantage is a strategy that works for me.

[CheekyMonkey]

Originally Posted by Fraser_0762

lol, well I have developed some techs admittedly.

I can't mentain eye contact too great, so i'll stare at the bridge of your nose instead (and hopefully not look cock-eyed in the process )

I'll also very politely node my head in aknowledgement when I am spoken to (even although i'm thinking wtf??? shut up annoying background noise!)

Edit: oh, and i'll be thinking about how well shaped your nose is to!

You have to nod the right amount. Nod ONCE every once in a while. Nodding more means that you don't understand or are not listening. I catch myself nodding too much during boring converstations.

[CheekyMonkey]

Originally Posted by nicnax86

I play the NT game sometimes like meeting new people or starting jobs but cant keep it up so after a bit I just tell them if they havent already guessed.

Im not imbarassed or anything, I just know that employers wont generaly take people on if they know they have "problems" no matter what discrimination acts say.

I work with autistic kids and never tell the parents I have anything until ive built up a relationship with them. maybe 1 out of 20 times i get a negative reaction but most of them are really positive. Kinda like saying you have a super power...That would be sweet!

I am ABA therapist for autistic kids....I have more in common with them than their NT parents. I think I'm good at what I do because I understand them better and also understand the NT side of things too. I don't tell parents. It isn't really anyone's business. I'm good at what I do...that's all they need to know!

[spunkysmum]

Originally Posted by CheekyMonkey

For the most part I am who I am, but if I'm meeting people for the first time I don't want them to think I'm standoffish or mean. If I can get those first impressions to show more of myself by acting a little more NT,then I'm fine with that.

I don't blame you. I'm afraid that there are probably a lot of people who think I am standoffish, but I don't mean to be. If they see me as indifferent or uncaring, and I suppose some may, wouldn't they be shocked to know what was going on inside and how much I agonize over not wanting to do anything that might be seen as rude, even to the point where I worry about strangers who wave at me from their cars while I'm walking down the street thinking I am a witch because my hands are full and I can't wave back.

I don't really see it as being not myself, but rather adjusting my communication style to open the doors to all kinds of different people and opportunities.

That's how I saw it as well when you were describing it.

I just think that people with ADHD vary so much in symptoms and behaviours that it might be extremely difficult to flatly categorize behaviours and communication styles as being either NT or ADHD. The differences between hyperactives and inattentives alone can be quite vast. People with ADHD vary between extroverted and introverted, absolutely fearless and terribly shy, very talkative and quite taciturn.

[CheekyMonkey]

Originally Posted by spunkysmum

I don't blame you. I'm afraid that there are probably a lot of people who think I am standoffish, but I don't mean to be. If they see me as indifferent or uncaring, and I suppose some may, wouldn't they be shocked to know what was going on inside and how much I agonize over not wanting to do anything that might be seen as rude, even to the point where I worry about strangers who wave at me from their cars while I'm walking down the street thinking I am a witch because my hands are full and I can't wave back.




That's how I saw it as well when you were describing it.

I just think that people with ADHD vary so much in symptoms and behaviours that it might be extremely difficult to flatly categorize behaviours and communication styles as being either NT or ADHD. The differences between hyperactives and inattentives alone can be quite vast. People with ADHD vary between extroverted and introverted, absolutely fearless and terribly shy, very talkative and quite taciturn.

I agree that there is a range of behaviors. I also believe that no matter where you are on the spectrum of ADHD, there are probably behaviors that hinder your ability to accomplish things you want to accomplish, be it making friends, getting a job, or smoothing over a fight with a spouse. NTs have their own issues as well. hhahaha

[Conman]

**** no! im proud of who i am...mostly...like 89% proud of who i am.

[trishcan]

I think the original question assumes that anyone who actively seeks to behave "like an NT" is doing so for the benefit of other people. That doesn't necessarily make sense to me. I find myself actively seeking to minimize my most blatantly obvious impairments because it simplifies my own life exponentially.

I have to coexist with people whose brains naturally work in a way that mine doesn't. If I can pass off my most debilitating symptoms as endearing quirks or amusing eccentricities, then I most certainly will.

I have enough working against me as it is. I see no reason in making things even more challenging by adamantly refusing to adapt to my environment to a degree that makes me halfway functional.

[CheekyMonkey]

Originally Posted by trishcan

I think the original question assumes that anyone who actively seeks to behave "like an NT" is doing so for the benefit of other people. That doesn't necessarily make sense to me. I find myself actively seeking to minimize my most blatantly obvious impairments because it simplifies my own life exponentially.

I have to coexist with people whose brains naturally work in a way that mine doesn't. If I can pass off my most debilitating symptoms as endearing quirks or amusing eccentricities, then I most certainly will.

I have enough working against me as it is. I see no reason in making things even more challenging by adamantly refusing to adapt to my environment to a degree that makes me halfway functional.

Hmm. Well I didn't mean for it to seem like it was for others benefit. As I said in a previous post.

"In the end, I do it for my own benefit....not others. I do it because it makes my life easier. I don't have to do it all the time, but understanding how it works and using it to my advantage is a strategy that works for me."

[trishcan]

Originally Posted by CheekyMonkey

Hmm. Well I didn't mean for it to seem like it was for others benefit. As I said in a previous post.

"In the end, I do it for my own benefit....not others. I do it because it makes my life easier. I don't have to do it all the time, but understanding how it works and using it to my advantage is a strategy that works for me."

Thanks for pointing that out. If I happen upon a thread that's more than a page long when I encounter it, odds are... I will read only the first post before responding, as well as those posted after I reply. Anything in-between fails to exist for the most part.

I'd explain this, but suffice it to say I make no attempt to minimize my dysfunctional behaviors on these forums.

[spunkysmum]

Originally Posted by trishcan

I think the original question assumes that anyone who actively seeks to behave "like an NT" is doing so for the benefit of other people. That doesn't necessarily make sense to me. I find myself actively seeking to minimize my most blatantly obvious impairments because it simplifies my own life exponentially.

I have to coexist with people whose brains naturally work in a way that mine doesn't. If I can pass off my most debilitating symptoms as endearing quirks or amusing eccentricities, then I most certainly will.

I have enough working against me as it is. I see no reason in making things even more challenging by adamantly refusing to adapt to my environment to a degree that makes me halfway functional.

I agree.

[Conman]

i'm sure in the future i wont come off as a weird or strange (all in the good way) person, but when im a professional i'll probably come off as 'eccentric'. never a need to act like a standard 'NT'. most NT's i know at school are scum anyway. i feel like you peoples here on forums seem more normal to me than highschool kids. then agains the bulk of you arnt highschool children. nippies

[CheekyMonkey]

Originally Posted by Conman

i'm sure in the future i wont come off as a weird or strange (all in the good way) person, but when im a professional i'll probably come off as 'eccentric'. never a need to act like a standard 'NT'. most NT's i know at school are scum anyway. i feel like you peoples here on forums seem more normal to me than highschool kids. then agains the bulk of you arnt highschool children. nippies

Think of it as being a spy and using their own tricks against them.