51 and unemployed for 3 years.

[AnotherPoster]

It happened again. I'm 51 and I have been out of work for 3 years. I never can hold a job. I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I show up on time every day. I have a college education. I have many computer skills. But I can't hold this jobs I get. I admit I have a temper and depression. So I have several strikes going against me. I can't get hired because I am a white middle aged man. We are the last to get hired. I work in the creative field. Us older guys are going to get discriminated more. My wife has lost respect for me. She doesn't say it but I can see it. I can't focus on anything for every long. Even my work out trainer can see it. I don't think I am a stupid person but I fear some people see me that way. It's the story of my life.

[Faramir]

Sorry to hear about your situation. Don't despair though. My uncle was out of work for about the same amount of time and was hired at the age of 59.

I'm not a married man but I've heard of women who left their husband because he lost his job. Unfortunately, that's the world we're living in today.

[ginniebean]

are you being treated for ADHD?

[tudorose]

If you're creative can you work freelance?

[Fraser_0762]

Originally Posted by Faramir

Sorry to hear about your situation. Don't despair though. My uncle was out of work for about the same amount of time and was hired at the age of 59.

I'm not a married man but I've heard of women who left their husband because he lost his job. Unfortunately, that's the world we're living in today.

You're right.

It's all about materialism and social status these days. It has nothing to do with how people actually feel anymore.

Love is a twisted logical choice these days.

[pechemignonne]

Originally Posted by AnotherPoster

It happened again. I'm 51 and I have been out of work for 3 years. I never can hold a job. I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I show up on time every day. I have a college education. I have many computer skills. But I can't hold this jobs I get. I admit I have a temper and depression. So I have several strikes going against me. I can't get hired because I am a white middle aged man. We are the last to get hired. I work in the creative field. Us older guys are going to get discriminated more. My wife has lost respect for me. She doesn't say it but I can see it. I can't focus on anything for every long. Even my work out trainer can see it. I don't think I am a stupid person but I fear some people see me that way. It's the story of my life.

Originally Posted by Faramir

I'm not a married man but I've heard of women who left their husband because he lost his job. Unfortunately, that's the world we're living in today.

It's also possible that the OP's low self-esteem right now is making him *think* that his wife feels that way, and is making him act differently.

For example, he could be depressed. Depressed men often get irritable and moody. People react to that in different ways, some by keeping their distance.

OP: your wife is not a mind reader, and neither are you. If you fear that she has lost respect for you, ask her.

But based on the history of your marriage, do you think it's likely that this entire time she only respected you because you had a job?

Or do you think it's possible that there's something else going on in your relationship?

Originally Posted by Fraser_0762

You're right.

It's all about materialism and social status these days. It has nothing to do with how people actually feel anymore.

Love is a twisted logical choice these days.

Holy woman-hating and cynicism on this thread.

This guy is having trouble, can we help him without making this about how women are superficial, materialistic b--ches?

[Massari]

Originally Posted by AnotherPoster

It happened again. I'm 51 and I have been out of work for 3 years. I never can hold a job. I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I show up on time every day. I have a college education. I have many computer skills. But I can't hold this jobs I get. I admit I have a temper and depression. So I have several strikes going against me. I can't get hired because I am a white middle aged man. We are the last to get hired. I work in the creative field. Us older guys are going to get discriminated more. My wife has lost respect for me. She doesn't say it but I can see it. I can't focus on anything for every long. Even my work out trainer can see it. I don't think I am a stupid person but I fear some people see me that way. It's the story of my life.

Is she among those whom respect is proportional to the amount of money you make?

[meadd823]

***Moderator note***

This is a reminder of the guidelines regarding etiquette:

Originally Posted by guidelines

Discrimination against race, gender, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, or of any other kind will not be tolerated on this forum.

~ Underlining in quote added by me ~

This means keep it on topic and no women / man bashing please.

[AnotherPoster]

Thanks for the responses. I forgot I even posted this here.

[AnotherPoster]

Originally Posted by Faramir

Sorry to hear about your situation. Don't despair though. My uncle was out of work for about the same amount of time and was hired at the age of 59.

I'm not a married man but I've heard of women who left their husband because he lost his job. Unfortunately, that's the world we're living in today.

Thank you. I just wish I had a leadership role in life by now. I never had. At least, not in the workplace.

[AnotherPoster]

Originally Posted by ginniebean

are you being treated for ADHD?

I used to go for counseling. I also tried meds here and there. Wellbutrin did help somewhat. I am taking that now.

[AnotherPoster]

Originally Posted by tudorose

If you're creative can you work freelance?

I am not good at freelancing. I lost many jobs doing it. Right now I have a freelance job. I put it on hold. Can you believe it? I must be sabotaging myself. Unbelievable! The jobs that I lost is painful. I thought I did well.

Originally Posted by Fraser_0762

You're right.

It's all about materialism and social status these days. It has nothing to do with how people actually feel anymore.

Love is a twisted logical choice these days.

Originally Posted by pechemignonne

It's also possible that the OP's low self-esteem right now is making him *think* that his wife feels that way, and is making him act differently.

For example, he could be depressed. Depressed men often get irritable and moody. People react to that in different ways, some by keeping their distance.

OP: your wife is not a mind reader, and neither are you. If you fear that she has lost respect for you, ask her.

But based on the history of your marriage, do you think it's likely that this entire time she only respected you because you had a job?

Or do you think it's possible that there's something else going on in your relationship?


Holy woman-hating and cynicism on this thread.

This guy is having trouble, can we help him without making this about how women are superficial, materialistic b--ches?

Thank you for your post. I have been talking with my wife. We are trying to work things out. She understand it's not my fault I have not gotten a job. We think it's age discrimination.

[425runner]

I'm 35 and been out of work for almost a year now. I have the same problem that you're describing - get bored easily, frustrated with details, short temper, depression, adhd. My husband has been very tolerant but I don't know if I'll ever get a job and be able to stay there for a while

Originally Posted by AnotherPoster

It happened again. I'm 51 and I have been out of work for 3 years. I never can hold a job. I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I show up on time every day. I have a college education. I have many computer skills. But I can't hold this jobs I get. I admit I have a temper and depression. So I have several strikes going against me. I can't get hired because I am a white middle aged man. We are the last to get hired. I work in the creative field. Us older guys are going to get discriminated more. My wife has lost respect for me. She doesn't say it but I can see it. I can't focus on anything for every long. Even my work out trainer can see it. I don't think I am a stupid person but I fear some people see me that way. It's the story of my life.

[Retromancer]

I now approaching the year mark on Social Security disability. This March I qualified for Medicare. After 5 years I am back to having a regular -- albeit small -- income and medical coverage.

[spunkysmum]

I was mostly unemployed for about three years. One of the worst parts about it was people making the assumption that you just "didn't want" to get a job. As if not having any money and not being able to do anything you want is somehow a desirable choice.