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  #1  
Old 10-30-04, 02:16 PM
jenni4476 jenni4476 is offline
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Red face Just diagnosed and in shock...

Hi all-

I just got an informal diagnosis this week from my psychologist-go to see doc on Monday for confirmation and medication-but I am just reeling-can't get my mind around it!

I've been doing nothing since getting the diagnosis but surfing the Web and educating myself (can't read books so I've been finding excerpts and articles instead...)

Oh, btw, I'm 28, mother of 2, currently in my 4th try at college, on my second marraige, have had 23 jobs that i can remember, have never been able to do anything despite IQ of 145+, suffered almost constantly from depression and anxiety, race my sports car, can't concentrate unless things are coming at me extremely fast, need high stimulation, basically a classic textbook case..

It was when the psychologist interviewed my mom and husband that the diagnosis came out clearly...i always tried to cover up things b/c i felt like they made me "unworthy"

but I digress...

Anyway, what i need help with is this....in the last two days the depression and anxiety are GONE...almost entirely...I have HOPE for the first time in my life but I'm still dealing with the major "paradigm shift" (as you might call it)-that this isn't somehow my fault...I'm also scared...

I know i will need to reorganize my life and myself in addition to going on medication...and am not sure I'm capable of it...my psychologist is going to work on this with me and so is my husband (he's totally supportive-often got frustrated and said "I love you but I'm not sure I can live with you...", now he says the frustration's gone and he just wants to help and is willing-he's totally organized

I guess I just need to know I'm not alone, need help adjusting to a totally new way of viewing things, trying to take the route of thinking I'm just different, not defective (as I was led to believe all along), just having major trouble with it...

sorry so long, need help and thank you!

Jen (optimistic but scared)
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Old 10-30-04, 02:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jenni4476
I am just reeling-can't get my mind around it!
  • ...i always tried to cover up things b/c i felt like they made me "unworthy"
  • ..I have HOPE for the first time in my life ...this isn't somehow my fault...I'm also scared...
  • .. i will need to reorganize my life and myself in addition to going on medication
  • ...not sure I'm capable of it.....I'm just different, not defective
Jen (optimistic but scared)
Welcome to the forums Jen!

Great post, we can all relate to what you are feeling. Knowledge is power and it sounds like you have a great start and support system already --think I love your organized hubby

Just breathe...you DON't have to take medicine and you will only organize or change things in your life that YOU WANT to change!!!
No reason at all to be scared--Optimism is fantastic please share in your posts!

I'd like to direct your attention to the wonderful search function on the upper right of each page. My favorite is to go to advanced search and click on the show posts button.

Also at the bottom of each page as you scroll past the quick reply field are topics of similar interests that you might be interested in.


Read, research any words, topics, or questions that may interest you, and please POST!
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Old 10-30-04, 03:25 PM
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Welcome to the forums!

I was dx'd with ADD about 4 - 5 years ago, but I didn't really tackle my problems until the last year or so ...dunno why exactly. Probably due in part to be feeling so overwhelmed with staying afloat in life that I didn't feel like I had the time to deal with it. And probably partly due to me not fully accepting the diagnosis.

I still feel pangs of doubt about ADD, and I still feel a lot of guilt/shame about my shortcomings (I've got such a messy house that I will not invite anyone over). However, knowing I have ADD gives me a starting point & framework for how to tackle difficult tasks. I am making small steps in the right direction. It sounds like you've got a pretty good support system, so that should really help you to move forward. And meds should help some too. But take your time, don't expect a miraculous transformation into some sort of overachieving super-wife PTA mom. Change takes time. And besides, you are who you are. Your family loves you, ADD & all.
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Old 10-30-04, 07:17 PM
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When they try to put you on strattera just say no, it's such a waste of time for most people. Having hope then getting put on strattera would suck. Just say please start me on something proven and let's try the strattera later. But depending on your Doctor you might have to try it anyway, and who knows maybe it will work.
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Old 10-30-04, 09:08 PM
jenni4476 jenni4476 is offline
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Thanks so much for the support-I didn't realize anyone would reply so quickly!

I just got back from the bookstore-got three books recommended by my psychologist to help me deal with it...looking forward to working on it

I guess the reason I'm so optimistic right now is that my life has gone so far downhill b/c of everything that I'm at the point where i haven't been able to take care of much of anything...therefore no one expects me to anymore...therefore I now have time to work on changing things from the bottom up.

Because I know a lot needs to be changed. I'm only keeping one class for school (the one where I have a really enthusiastic professor that keeps me engaged, also there's only 9 students in the class so there's a lot of interaction)...i have to totally clean and reorganize my house but I now know to tackle it in short increments systematically instead of marathon sessions...

I knew this before, just was never able to put it into effect, that's why my psychologist wants me to try medication (btw, andocrates, she also told me to avoid strattera at least in the beginning-thanks for the tip tho...

ahhh, feeling better, i know i'm not alone...funny, i always thought no one would ever understand me, I"ve been reading a lot of the posts here (don't feel i know or understand enough to post replies yet-don't think I can be of any help to anyone until I've gotten through my own issues...soon, though, hopefully

Thank you!!!!
Jen
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Old 10-30-04, 10:05 PM
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Hey, Jen:

Sorry, but sorry is not accepted here…

Welcome to the forums. We're Tom and Kay, and we have an ADD family. We both take Adderall and/or Ritalin, every day. Our boy Bryan takes one or the other when he knows he'll be doing something straight; he's a jazz saxophonist, so most of the time he just soars.

Scary is OK; it just means change, and change just means new. Don’t worry, because everybody here has been through the same thing.

For Kay and me, new is good; sometimes we're saturated with it, until it's becomes a constant in it's own right. (grin…)

We think of the drugs we take as "stealth pills," because they don't change us so much as they change the way that others look at us. And their expectations change right along with it.

You may find that you are more organized than you think; you might not do things the way that others people do them, but if you finish and put everything away, how could anyone tell?

In our experience, one of the major reasons that ADDers don't finish projects isn't lack of organization at all, but rather getting all tied up with trying to do things according to other peoples expectations.

For example: everybody sometimes gets into something without really understanding just what the objective is. We ADDers are great at recognizing what we wanted to figure out long before the project is finished.

We're equally good at not finishing once we've gotten what we started after. We just can't make ourselves do stuff that no longer has a point.

So the trick is learning that when we get what we set out after, the project is finished, and then acting like it, putting stuff away and such. And, of course, learning to humor anyone that doesn't get it.

Even though people convey their expectations in subtle ways, we're good at reading the most unobvious cues. But it can be hard to see how much we're forced to do things the normal way, because there often isn't any alternative to compare it to.

So once you start to find your self, and lose the idea that you're broken, you've taken a big step towards finding your own way, too. We like being different, and having drugs that help keep it from being such a big deal to others goes a long way towards letting us enjoy it and get on with doing what we're good at.

Which is, as far as we can tell, just about anything at all.

Have fun. –Tom and Kay
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Old 11-16-04, 02:43 AM
jenni4476 jenni4476 is offline
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Tom & Kay-

I've done some browsing around on this site among other things and I must say that I absolutely adore your viewpoints on a lot of things...your posts really seem to click with me.

Your explanation for not finishing projects...figuring out what you wanted to know long before it's done...is so me!! That's why I have a hard time doing lengthy assignments for my organic chem class at school, it's like "darn it, I know what's going on, why do I have to do ten more problems to show you this?"

Andocrates-

unfortunately, even though I doth protested, my doc wouldn't try anything else until I'd gone through a trial of Strattera...been on it two and a half weeks and haven't noticed much except for some pretty awful side effects like being tired all the time and zoning out mentally-I can focus pretty well but not on anything above the level of computer solitaire...chem just got really hard all of a sudden, motivation is gone, REALLY can't tolerate distractions of any kind

well, it's not all bad, I've got some pretty good side effects too...hubby is extremely happy if you know what I mean, also I seem to have dropped those ten pounds I've been trying to lose for years without even trying, now I have to make myself eat regularly so i don't lose any more, I don't get hungry at all

Going to another doc tomorrow-will see if I can get this changed b/c the negatives are outweighing the positives and it's driving me nuts!!!

General notes...

Still trying to readjust myself...an interesting item has come to light. I told a few selected close friends (well, I only have four anyway) and turns out three of them have pretty serious ADD-type symptoms themselves while the fourth was used to dealing with it in her younger brother and sister so I seemed "familiar" to her.

We always thought we were weird b/c we've tried to have friendships with others but they fizzle out...also when we met each other it was immediately like we already knew the other..these are friends I've picked up over the years, one fifteen years ago in high school, one five years ago (a neighbor), and one I met last year in one of my college classes. We're joking around that we should start a support group...only half joking anyway. It's nice b/c now we all talk about it, it's been kind of cathartic really.

Hubby has been getting a little annoying-he's being really super nice but a little over-solicitous if you know what I mean. Treating me like I can't do anything (not meanly, more like "oh honey I'll take care of that, don't worry")...did anyone else have this problem?

I'm trying really hard not to snap at him but I know he's doing it with the best of intentions, no one else has ever been remotely understanding and he doesn't want to continue that pattern and hurt me any more than I already have been...but in a way it's making me feel even worse...any suggestions?

Thanks so much-I've learned a lot from all of you
Jen
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Old 11-16-04, 04:02 PM
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We're glad you feel at home here. Most of what you're posting sounds pretty positive.

I believe the thing with your husband has been mentioned in other threads, and it's usually transitory. Just hang in there; his models are changing, and it can take a while.

There's going to be a lot that moves around, for quite a while. Kay and I still rumble around about something silly every once in a while, until we can figure out what part of it isn't actually silly.
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Old 11-16-04, 04:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jenni4476
(can't read books so I've been finding excerpts and articles instead...)
Jen
Hi Jen. You might even find that with time you will be able to read a book! This is one of the new found joys that I discovered upon dx....
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Old 07-10-08, 11:55 PM
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Re: Just diagnosed and in shock...

this post was made in 2004 and then she stopped posting after 28 posts.... I wonder why people do that and not come back and give updates
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Old 07-11-08, 01:05 AM
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Re: Just diagnosed and in shock...

Quote:
Originally Posted by andocrates View Post
When they try to put you on strattera just say no, it's such a waste of time for most people. Having hope then getting put on strattera would suck. Just say please start me on something proven and let's try the strattera later. But depending on your Doctor you might have to try it anyway, and who knows maybe it will work.
jenni4476 - I was just diagnosed in the past couple of weeks confirmed by two different docs.

These are the words of the pdoc I chose to work wtih:
Strattera works really well in one out of 3 people. When it works it works great. Pdoc chose to start me on Concerta (due to the fact I have to pay for scripts out of pocket - his recommendation was Vyvannse). As I have absolutely no experience with ADHD meds, I can only mirror what my pdoc told me.

I got the book Driven to Distraction, but can only read bits and pieces now. I start the Concerta tomorrow.

I wish you all the luck in the world and look forward to hearing your experiences on this journey.
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Old 07-11-08, 01:19 AM
Bonnieboo Bonnieboo is offline
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Re: Just diagnosed and in shock...

Quote:
Originally Posted by jenni4476 View Post
It was when the psychologist interviewed my mom and husband that the diagnosis came out clearly...i always tried to cover up things b/c i felt like they made me "unworthy"
I was trying to explain just this thing to someone the other day.

We have so much in common. I look forward to making this journey with you!

Welcome,

b
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