The ADD Vent Thread

[Struggling]

Im having the worst day everr. have been crying since 3 o clock. i am now drowning my sorrows in alcohol.

[Nucking_Futs]

Struggling if you don't have anyone to talk to about what is eating you alive right now please feel free to pm me. I've been really worried about you lately and it's not like I haven't had those days myself. Hugs hun

We don't have our bathroom done yet and my in laws will be here for the babies first birthday to make matters worse I'm going to have to hear about how awful my bathroom looks from my brother in law who remodels bathrooms for a living. YIPPEE!!! the nice thing about not having the bathroom done is that we took the time to really think about and draw out what we want..it's gonna be great and in a way I haven't gotten it done just so I could tell Doug's brother in law off...I've been experiancing some serious bouts of self destructive behaviour. Wish me luck in holding my tongue.

[pembroke]

Vent: why is it that all of my daughter's negative behaviours become my fault, while our son, who is not ADD, is a credit only to my husband? interesting how that works.....aarrrggghhh!!!! I would like to put my fist through a wall right about now!

[pembroke]

and just that quickly my mood went from pretty good to rotten.

[Nucking_Futs]

*sarcastic* Because, everyone knows it's always the mom's fault didn't you read the manual. that's why I'm always quick to reply yeah she takes after her dad but I"m working on both their behaviours. *grins* deny, deny, deny that the name of my game.

[Nucking_Futs]

For what it's worth Judit I think your a great mom and friend. Big hugs you can lean and vent on us for as long as you need. Maybe, if you talked about your daughters behaviours we'd have some hints and if not we can at least support you the way need to be.

[aneededchange]

why cant I finish anything I set out to accomplish??

*slams head on desk*

I feel like $*** right now.

[pembroke]

how much time do you have? basically, she wants a job; she wants to earn money. she has applied at maybe 4 places, called none of them back. she wants a job where she wants to work. she has defeated all of our suggestions one way or another - don't wanna work there, they probably aren't looking for anyone, don't wanna smell like fish....etc. so, my husband says, so how does this fit in with her ADD, since you use that to defend all of her other actions....and who was the one who made decisions when it came to our son and look how he turned out? and who is the one doing all the decision making with her and look at where we are?
need i say frustration is burning an acid hole in my stomach. She is just being an unrealistic 15 year old, but, husband is comparing her to himself, who has been working since he was 14 because his father died after he was born and his alcoholic mom never had the time or money for him.....and our son was perfect - perfect grades, perfect worker (we'll overlook the fact that he has pretty much done the same about a part-time job in college - no time to work, he's too busy with bands, the school paper, classes and being the treasurer and dj for school radio station).
but, it's all my fault she is the way she is. and all his credit that he is the way he is. (this from the father who spent the first 3 years of his son's life out of country and then on the road all week and slept all weekend when he was home....) do i sound frustrated yet? ANYWAY. this is way more than i wanted to say......

[Garry]

He sounds like a truck driver

[pembroke]

former truck driver. now is a heating tech, self-employed.

[Nucking_Futs]

I'm so sorry things have been rough for you lately at home Judit. But, there is hopefully an answer in what I'm about to tell you. Not finding the perfect job could very well be your daughter's way of hiding insecurity. It was for me no job was ever good enough but the truth was I was afraid of failing, I finally lept and took the chance when my mother told me that from now on I would have no spending cash unless I did gross and demeaning chores and she would only give me a $100 for school clothes (now come on a $100? everyone knows a girl can't buy enough clothes for school with that) another words I was forced to take a job and I learned quickly that it wasn't as bad as I thought. It's better for her to learn that nothing comes free now while still at home when she has you to lean on financially rather then later when she is on her own IMHO but then it's only my opinion.

As for you husband I've found that when Doug makes comments like that it's out of frustration at a situation he has no control over and not really directed at me. Next time try just telling him "hey that hurt; but, I'm going to let it slide because I love you and know you work hard to take care of us and have missed out on a lot of the child raising and are kind of new to it." Another words buddy you don't get much credit here but it's said nicely and with love.

[pembroke]

thanks. um - hubby helped raise his 2 nephews and niece before he married me.....he just doesn't (want to) get ADD.

and yeah, my daughter has been offered a job at the fish restaurant - her friend's mom works there....

so, it seems to all be working out.

[Nucking_Futs]

I'm so glad for your daughter. While your husband helped raise other children he needs to understand and accept that they are all different and require different tactics what works for one will not work for the other unfortunatly. good luck Jud you so deserve an easy day and I'm wishing and hoping you get it soon.

[Struggling]

Originally Posted by Nucking_Futs

Struggling if you don't have anyone to talk to about what is eating you alive right now please feel free to pm me. I've been really worried about you lately and it's not like I haven't had those days myself. Hugs hun

Thanks NF! I had a rough couple of days...but I did have someone to talk to who helped me through it. And I've been feeling great since!

[pembroke]

yeah - what she said ^....thanks Futsy. With all your problems, you still support me through my whining.... things really are better. Was having a rotten run, there.....
Hugs to ya.