Unexpected change in plans *panic*

[TryingTracy]

Really throw me for a loop!!

All weekend we've been going over with my daughter that she has to look after the younger two this afternoon and she's hasn't been happy about it.

I have to drive quite a distance away and my husband will be at work so she can't just call up if there's a disagreement between them like she does usually.

We're trying to give her small amounts of responsability as we also want to boost her self confidence so she can see that she can do it. (shes a preteen)

So we've been talking about it all week and finally yesterday she seemed cool with it. It's only for a few hours anyways. It was all good with her.

My mominlaw was to pick them all up at school and drop them off and then head to other family for a previous commitment.

............so at the last minute my mominlaw says she can come over and that theres a change in plans.
I tell her give me an hour to think about it.
I give a quick call to my daughter at school (1st break of the day luckily) and of course she says that yeah it will be cool if grams stayed.
So grams is now staying after school.

I'm now FrAnTicalLy cleaning the whole nAsTy house because I can't let mominlaw see how awful it is. Total Panic.

I can't help but think that maybe this is undermining my daughter.
If my daughter would have just been able to see she can do this for two hours, it would show her that shes tough and can handle it without problems.
My mind is going over and over this. Now that I've spewed it out here, maybe I can focus on other things???

[Fuzzy12]

Tracy, I had changes in plans as well. (Even if they change for the better).

I can understand that you are disappointed. I would be too. It sounds like you've given this a lot of thought, have planned well in advance and convinced your daughter, none of which I guess were extremely easy. And last minute cleaning is never fun.

I'm sorry the plans got changed but I think, it might still have been a good trial run for the next time your daughter gets an opportunity to look after her siblings. You've done the ground work now, you've explained to her the situation and convinced her to give it a try so the next time it should be a lot easier. Maybe you can just postpone the exercise for a few days. I mean you can always go in the next few days somewhere for a couple of hours and it might actually work out better since you can stay in the area in case your daughter needs you to come home.

[spunkysmum]

Originally Posted by TryingTracy

I can't help but think that maybe this is undermining my daughter.

I understand why you are worried about that, but I think it will be OK. I'm sure your daughter got the message throughout the weekend that you trust her and think that she can do it. It sounds as though she had a lot of doubts and is probably if anything relieved about not having to do it at this time.

It sucks that you have to clean the house for MIL though. :-( I definitely feel your pain on that one!

[Conman]

yup. i think adderall has amplified this. but when i have a set date in mind (such as the day i get to order cool stuff), it becomes fixed in my mind. so if something changes (it's the worst when it's last minute change, i find it tolerable if it's well in advance) i get frustrated, verbally. im not mad since '**** happens', but it's an inconvenience i tend to cope with by verbally ranting.

[silivrentoliel]

I hate hate hate my plans changing, I feel like I fall into an uncontrollable tail spin. I'm trying to get better at just "going with it" but that's harder than it sounds. As for your oldest daughter not having to babysit now... I'm sure you're already well on your way to wherever you needed to be, but next time, maybe their grandma can just check in once or twice to see how they are- or take them for ice cream or something- that way your oldest is still babysitting, but grandma is close by in case something happens?

[TryingTracy]

The thing is...

It wasn't just my oldest we had to 'prep'. The other two needed to understand that they had to work as a team.
Yes, they could play on the computer or watch videos but they had to listen to my oldest since she is in charge.
That's where the arguments usually start.

And since this is my first day on concerta, I think it may have helped me get things done because this morning I was certain there was no freaking way I could get the whole house done.
Or maybe that's all in my mind. idk. I was definitely full speed ahead with turbo blasters on.

And yeah, there will be plenty of other chances for my oldest to run things here. Its just that.....I don't want to baby her too much.
If someone doesn't want to do something, I just don't want to deal with all the discussion back and forth so I do it myself.
Think I need to start changing that.