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Old 11-07-04, 06:39 PM
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Women with ADD/ADHD Frustrated with Everyday Life

I just found this forum today and I am glad there are so many people out there like me. I have been on meds for ADD for about 5 years. I'm 21. I needed a little support. I'm burnt out on life. My boyfriend doesn't understand me.


Here's the scenario. Every day I wake up at 5:30 and go to work until 9am then I go to school and then sometimes, about every other day I go back to work from 3pm until 10pm. I work 7-3 every other weekend. It adds up to 18hrs of school and 30-35 hours of work a week. It seems like the weekends I do not work I cannot wake up at all. I do not get up and take my pills therefore I sleep way too late. Yesterday I slept until 4pm. Finally I poped an Adderall and was fine. My boyfriend just thinks I'm lazy. I can't help it. I can't wake up.
Then I feel horrible because my weekend off flies by and I end up sleeping most of the way through it getting nothing done and I think... "my god, I am lazy." And right now I'm feeling pretty damn fat. My boyfriend is the only one I got and he just dosen't know what to say to make me feel good. I think he does it intentionally to make me feel like crap so I can catch some motivation or something. The last thing I need is some emotional abuse on top of it all. I guess I just want out.

I want out of everything. I don't want to take pills. I don't want to go through withdrawl. I'm sick of my ears ringing constantly. I'm sick of feeling sick.

I even LOOK sick. When I look in the mirror I have huge dark circles under my eyes. I'm so stressed out I've been having anxiety attacks. My chest gets really tight and I can't breath. YEAH thats always fun. I am really considering putting myself into rehab so I can get my head straight and get off these pills.

On top of it all I have Seasonal Anxiety or Depression. I live in minnesota. The days are very short. And the nights are very cold. I need daylight. I love summer. I think that's why I'm freaking out right now. It's 4pm and the sun is setting. I just woke up a couple hours ago. No wonder I feel so crapy.

Who here is with me?

I guess I might be alone on this one. Please feel free to tell me what you think.
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Old 11-07-04, 07:03 PM
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Welcome to the forums Jane,

Sounds like your schedule doesn't leave much fun time for you and your boyfriend.
I know personally that I've spent years of my life barely making it to work and looked at my weekends as a time to recharge for the upcoming week.
Not a very fun parent to live with--wish I would've gotten help years ago!


Your ears ringing may or may not be from your meds, have you talked to a Dr lately about your concerns? I would seriously call your Dr first thing and leave a message regarding possibly changing meds.
Sorry to say I'm clueless about ADD meds but there are threads devoted solely to every concern in your post.

I'd like to direct your attention to the wonderful search function on the upper right of each page. My favorite is to go to advanced search and click on the show posts button.

When searching 'Adderall Withdrawl" I found 14 different threads. Gregster posts

"If used as directed you should not have physical withdrawl from Adderall."


cannot seem to post the link


Also at the bottom of each page as you scroll past the quick reply field are topics of similar interests.

Read, research any words, topics, or questions that may interest you, and please POST
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Old 11-07-04, 08:27 PM
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The ringing in the ears is called tininitus

I see from reading hear that it is quite common among us possibly becuse our brain just notices it I dont know

I have it all the time but only when I pay attention to it do I notice it

sounds like you are stressed from pushing to hard

dont know --- nIm not a doctor


want to run away --- come join me in my imaginary place that I go to quite often as I cant afford to physically run away and it wouldn't matter as the ADD runs away with me

after 50 years of running I think im pretty sure it follows me where ever I run to

but it hasnt figured out how to follow me to my secreat place deep in my mind.......

Its easy to get to my secret place you know

close your eyes and say to he** with the rest of the world and let your mind go , where ever it wants to go ----- mine always ends up down by the river out in the bush , just watching the water flow by

Come join me anytime you wish

theres no charge

theres no rules

thers no crap

theres no poloitics

there is only tranquility

your all welcome to join me anytime you need to run away.............
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Old 11-07-04, 10:02 PM
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Oh - you have one of those too? I have a secret garden deep within my mind where I can tune out everything and everybody and I regularly go there when I am trying to get to sleep - it never fails to get me there safely and calmly and with wonderful dreams.....
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Old 11-09-04, 12:58 AM
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Jane,

You have a really rough schedule. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Most people with that schedule would do exactly what you are doing on the weekends. You need to take some time to rest and it sounds like your body is forcing you to do so, although seasonal depression can make you sleep a lot too.

Maybe you could do just one thing after school, on the 2-3 days that you don't work after school? If it's some errand to be done away from home, it's much easier to do it before coming home than it is to come home, then have to leave your house in order to get it done. Then you won't beat yourself up over not getting stuff done over the weekend.

You might want to check out the book "Adrenal Fatigue" at the library. It might give you some ideas for coping with the stress. Of course I'm not a doctor but whatever.... when has that ever stopped me from giving advice?

Definitely get treatment for seasonal depression. One of the best things I ever did for myself was to buy a little Apollo GoLite - it's my friend! Apollo has a web site with a quiz that will help you determine when and how long to use the light. Using the light has made a huge difference in my energy and motivation during the months that used to hit me hard.
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Old 01-03-05, 10:54 PM
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Jane, honey, we are twins! I don't go to school, but I sure put in some long hours from September thru December and it sure isn't any fun to go to work when it's dark and come home when it's dark. Living in the Midwest, even a Saturday with sunny skies and fair temps makes it way too short when all of it has to be spent indoors cleaning because you can't do anything but go to bed after getting home from work. It's like there is no life, no fun, no break, no sun. Who wants to cook a decent meal or go for a walk with a schedule like yours? Boot the boyfriend and move to Florida! Or New Mexico if you don't like humidity It like we're only barely making it through life  existing, not living. I feel for you and really do know how you feel. The hardest thing for me to do is eat properly. I keep thinking that if I could just have three square meals a day for a week, to include fresh fruit and fresh fish and could lay on a beach in Hawaii for an entire summer doing nothing but lay there I could get my act together. I wish I had someone to cook for me, and clean for me, and not ask anything of me. Responsibility is not a word I want to hear. You may want to see a doctor and get on some anti-depressants full time, even though that's another pill. Here's a 'health drink' that I like to mix in my blender which always makes me feel refreshed no matter what time of day: one orange, one 6-oz. container of non-fat, fruit-flavored yogurt, whole cranberries (as much as you want), and some vanilla-flavored protein powder. Add enough orange juice to come level with the other ingredients, and blend until smooth. You can also add brewer's yeast which is loaded with amino acids, RNA, DNA, minerals and vitamins that is natural to it, but brewer's yeast is an acquired taste. You can also add a fresh banana, some fresh pineapple, or any other mixture you think might taste good. Just make sure the fruit is fresh. Add a raw egg if you want. Even if you don't like cranberries, the orange and orange juice will cover the taste pretty well, but it's a sweet/tart flavor. Helps the ol' kidneys, too Anyway, this mixture pretty much fills a 32-oz. mug, which you can drink down quickly. I also like to re-fill with cold water, and drink down whatever is left of the fruit drink that lines the mug. Makes for a great breakfast on the run, and we could all use more water. Hang in there, kiddo, you aren't alone!
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Old 01-04-05, 04:23 AM
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[quote=Garry]
close your eyes and say to he** with the rest of the world and let your mind go , where ever it wants to go ----- mine always ends up down by the river out in the bush , just watching the water flow by
/QUOTE]

Thanks! So simple but incredibly helpful, amazing
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Old 01-15-05, 09:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by janesays
I just found this forum today and I am glad there are so many people out there like me. I have been on meds for ADD for about 5 years. I'm 21. I needed a little support. I'm burnt out on life. My boyfriend doesn't understand me.

I'm sorry you're feeling burned out at 21. Getting support is really important and really helpful!

Here's the scenario. Every day I wake up at 5:30 and go to work until 9am then I go to school and then sometimes, about every other day I go back to work from 3pm until 10pm. I work 7-3 every other weekend. It adds up to 18hrs of school and 30-35 hours of work a week. It seems like the weekends I do not work I cannot wake up at all. I do not get up and take my pills therefore I sleep way too late. Yesterday I slept until 4pm. Finally I poped an Adderall and was fine. My boyfriend just thinks I'm lazy. I can't help it. I can't wake up.

That's a pretty demanding schedule, Lil' Miss. Cut yourself some slack. It sounds like you're anything but lazy. It sounds like you really need that extra sleep on the weekend to catch up!

Then I feel horrible because my weekend off flies by and I end up sleeping most of the way through it getting nothing done and I think... "my god, I am lazy." And right now I'm feeling pretty damn fat. My boyfriend is the only one I got and he just dosen't know what to say to make me feel good. I think he does it intentionally to make me feel like crap so I can catch some motivation or something. The last thing I need is some emotional abuse on top of it all. I guess I just want out.

You said it! The very last thing you need (or deserve) is emotional abuse! You don't have to settle for that -- there are other fish in the sea.

I want out of everything. I don't want to take pills. I don't want to go through withdrawl. I'm sick of my ears ringing constantly. I'm sick of feeling sick.

Have you consulted a doctor? Those are legitimate concerns to discuss.

I even LOOK sick. When I look in the mirror I have huge dark circles under my eyes.

Tiredness may cause some of that, but diet might be a part too. A book I'm reading called the ADD Nutrition Solution talks about how lots of ADDers have allergies and one of the symptoms is just what you've described. I know I've discovered there are some foods I didn't realize effected me badly and leaving them off has really helped how I feel.

I'm so stressed out I've been having anxiety attacks. My chest gets really tight and I can't breath. YEAH thats always fun. I am really considering putting myself into rehab so I can get my head straight and get off these pills.

Yeah, anxiety attacks are lots of fun (been there and done that)!

On top of it all I have Seasonal Anxiety or Depression. I live in minnesota. The days are very short. And the nights are very cold. I need daylight. I love summer. I think that's why I'm freaking out right now. It's 4pm and the sun is setting. I just woke up a couple hours ago. No wonder I feel so crapy.

I lived in Canada for a couple years and had SAD too. Have you considered one of those special lamps for that. I had a friend who used one and it really helped.

Who here is with me?

I am!

I guess I might be alone on this one.

No way are you alone in this. There are lots of us who can relate to what you're describing.

Please feel free to tell me what you think.
Okay in the what I think department: I think you need to ease up on yourself. It sounds like you're doing real well for any student, much less one who's dealing with ADD. One of the things I've learned is that we're more prone to anxiety and depression. It's okay and even necessary to ask for help. I hope you'll realize you're deserving of that. Have you thought about seeing a counselor to work through some of the emotional stuff that comes along with all this? I encourage you to set some boundaries with your boyfriend. If he won't respect them now, it won't get any better down the road and probably will get worse.

Take gentle care!
Scattered
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Old 04-12-10, 12:34 PM
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Smile Re: Women with ADD/ADHD Frustrated with Everyday Life

I, Like you, have ADD and was ready to quit. but my mom made me do a project about ADD and learn about myself. I started my research, and within a month, i finished it, and found out so much about myself, and learned that most of my habits are connected to ADD, and not because im lazy or stupid or anything.

I wish you luck on your journey, and i hope that things go better.
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Old 04-13-10, 12:17 AM
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Re: Women with ADD/ADHD Frustrated with Everyday Life

Jane- You deserve to be happy. Some observations from someone who could be your mother...

1. Taking Adderall sporadically is dangerous. I have taken it for many years and learned the hard way. You have to take it regularly for it to work properly and it isn't safe to keep forgetting to take it. I used to do that all the time and still do at times. It's a Catch 22- you need it to help with focus and memory and yet you forget to take it. I finally learned to keep my pills in a pill sorter box by my bed with a bottle of water. That's the first thing I do before I get out of bed each day.

2. You sound desperate, which means you need to talk to a professional. I have dealt with depression for most of my life and it was only in my 30's that I sought therapy. Even though rationally I knew it ran in my family, (brother committed suicide at 17, sister and brother have mental illness) I thought depression was a sign of weakness- I believed the stigma. I finally accepted the fact that a lot of depression (and ADD) is simply a problem with the wiring in the brain. Nothing to be embarrassed about but something that needs to be investigated by a doctor.

3. Don't ever accept anyone telling you you're lazy. We all of a bit (in my case, perhaps a lot) lazy at times, but it isn't laziness that keeps you in bed. I was always exhausted through my teens and later but it was due to my ADD brain constantly moving, depression and a blood pressure issue that caused extreme fatigue. So- give the boyfriend some written info on your disorder, tell him you need him to understand what you are going through and that you need his support. If he isn't willing- he's not good enough for you.

4. Remember you have all of us supporting you. You will be amazed at how much help is out there, just don't be afraid to look for answers.
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Old 08-15-11, 11:29 AM
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Re: Women with ADD/ADHD Frustrated with Everyday Life

I definitely understand how you feel... you put so much energy and effort into work and school that when all is said and done, it doesn't feel like there's energy for much else. Not gonna lie, I watch a lot of netflix and zune stuff, mostly movies, etc. Then again I'm a HUGE movie buff and for very long wanted to be a film director or editor, so I've always been that way haha, it's definitely added to my laziness. Depression can be draining too. It's depressing to work your behind off and feel like everyone else has all of this energy and can handle it and they seem to be having all of the fun. Don't be so hard on yourself... chances are, those people who seem to have unlocked some sort of key or have it all figured out are actually fronters... they don't have it all figured out, they just hide it well which isn't always healthy -_- You're definitely not alone, honey. Take baby steps. Although easier said than done, it really helps to start from scratch and work your way up. Recently, to help me improve on my laziness I started going to Michael's and getting back into crafty stuff like making dreamcatchers, decorations, suncatchers, etc... and it's definitely reminded me not only of my potential, but it's helping me slowly overcome this. It may not hurt to talk to someone about your depression too, and on days where you can't kind the words... bring out your aggression in healthy ways, take up hobbies that require minimal energy and once your retrain yourself to have hobbies, you can move onto other bigger hobbies. It sounds like a lot, but I'm sending lots of love and positive vibes your way <3
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Old 08-17-11, 02:31 AM
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Re: Women with ADD/ADHD Frustrated with Everyday Life

Honey it seems like you have too much on your plate at the moment.
Especially working hours that is equivalent to full time and plus going to school you are bound to feel exhausted on your day off.
THat is only normal for you to want to sleep and sleep on your day off. All I can suggest is maybe cut back on work hours a little so you dont get so tired on your day off.
Hope things work out for you.
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Old 08-17-11, 07:26 AM
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Re: Women with ADD/ADHD Frustrated with Everyday Life

Quote:
Originally Posted by Suz57 View Post
Jane- You deserve to be happy. Some observations from someone who could be your mother...

1. Taking Adderall sporadically is dangerous. I have taken it for many years and learned the hard way. You have to take it regularly for it to work properly and it isn't safe to keep forgetting to take it. I used to do that all the time and still do at times. It's a Catch 22- you need it to help with focus and memory and yet you forget to take it. I finally learned to keep my pills in a pill sorter box by my bed with a bottle of water. That's the first thing I do before I get out of bed each day.

2. You sound desperate, which means you need to talk to a professional. I have dealt with depression for most of my life and it was only in my 30's that I sought therapy. Even though rationally I knew it ran in my family, (brother committed suicide at 17, sister and brother have mental illness) I thought depression was a sign of weakness- I believed the stigma. I finally accepted the fact that a lot of depression (and ADD) is simply a problem with the wiring in the brain. Nothing to be embarrassed about but something that needs to be investigated by a doctor.

3. Don't ever accept anyone telling you you're lazy. We all of a bit (in my case, perhaps a lot) lazy at times, but it isn't laziness that keeps you in bed. I was always exhausted through my teens and later but it was due to my ADD brain constantly moving, depression and a blood pressure issue that caused extreme fatigue. So- give the boyfriend some written info on your disorder, tell him you need him to understand what you are going through and that you need his support. If he isn't willing- he's not good enough for you.

4. Remember you have all of us supporting you. You will be amazed at how much help is out there, just don't be afraid to look for answers.
I didn't know not taking adderall everyday was dangerous. What happens to you if you don't.
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Old 08-17-11, 07:48 AM
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Re: Women with ADD/ADHD Frustrated with Everyday Life

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
I didn't know not taking adderall everyday was dangerous. What happens to you if you don't.
Some doctors recommend taking Adderall every day. My doctor said to only take it when I need to concentrate. I'd say that it probably depends on the person and who you ask.

I don't think it's dangerous, per say, but it might cause problems if you need stability or if your symptoms are particularly unmanageable. I don't see why it would be a problem if you are just planning to sleep all day, though. In fact, it might be good to get the medication out of your system so that you can rest.

As for being tired all the time, don't worry too much. That is a very demanding schedule and you'd be an oddball if you weren't struggling with it! If you can't cut down on the responsibility, then the least you can do is let yourself rest when you need it.

Best wishes!
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