not sure how to proceed...

[kelswf]

I am at a loss of what to do with my son. He is 6 almost 7 has adhd, ocd, odd and chronic anxiety/depression.
I can deal with almost all of that.
Lately he has been so aggressive and violent. He hurts me, not just verbally or emotionally. I am so sad, my heart is so broken, I am confused but also at my wits end, I should not need to feel this way. He has physically one way or another attacked me now 4 times this week, I am ok, nothing permanant but I do not know what to do anymore...
suggestions?
please do not come at me or attack me over this post, I am a good resourceful parent who has had and continues to have not only my son in therapy but myself as well and I am at the point of being rendered speechless. So please if you want to lecture, attack or high horse do not respond I am too tired to defend.
referrals?
advice?

[myst1c1]

Hi,

Can't really offer advice as my 8 year old son is undiagnosed as yet, but his behaviour is similar and it makes me so so sad.

I get glimpses now and again of the kind caring boy he is, but these are few and far between these days. He can flip into anger over nothing and I don't have a clue what triggers it.

Can only be there for them and love them.

[mcnay1]

Im so sorry, Kelswf! I hope this is just a phase that your son moves in and out of soon. I dont have any suggestions or advice, but wanted to send you cyber hugs... Is your son on any sort of meds? Could it be the medications that are making him violent? Just a thought...?

[sarahsweets]

Is it possible that he has ODD?

[LynneC]

Originally Posted by kelswf

I am at a loss of what to do with my son. He is 6 almost 7 has adhd, ocd, odd and chronic anxiety/depression.
I can deal with almost all of that.
Lately he has been so aggressive and violent. He hurts me, not just verbally or emotionally. I am so sad, my heart is so broken, I am confused but also at my wits end, I should not need to feel this way. He has physically one way or another attacked me now 4 times this week, I am ok, nothing permanant but I do not know what to do anymore...
suggestions?
please do not come at me or attack me over this post, I am a good resourceful parent who has had and continues to have not only my son in therapy but myself as well and I am at the point of being rendered speechless. So please if you want to lecture, attack or high horse do not respond I am too tired to defend.
referrals?
advice?

Welcome! You are in the right place.

Is your son taking any medication for ADHD & ODD or depression?

Have you read the essays in Dizfriz's Corner yet? You may find some coping strategies to help you...
http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=60130

[mommytriz]

Welcome, so sorry your having such a rough go of it with your little guy. I am glad your seeking therapy as that will be important for you in keeping going. Are there any ADHD support groups near you? Sometimes just sitting and talking with other parents experienncing similar things or worse can help you not feel so alone in it. I recently took a ADHD parenting class over a few months based on Barkleys material and found the parenting strategies very helpful with my kids. I learned how to diffuse a lot of situations just by how I approach them. I recommend it if you can find one.

That is a long list of dx your son and I'm sure he is not able to handle all that the world is throwing at him right now. My ADHD dd has a lot of anxiety/stress during the school year which is the cause of her anger and frustrations at home as well. Now that it is summer she is, again a whole different person. Does staying home during the summer help at all? Also, I'm sure the sun is going to make an appearance in the NW soon ( hopefully) and my dd is always better when the weather isn't so gloomy. Does your son do better when he can get outside and burn off steam?

My only advise would be to keep some kind of journal of his behaviour so if there is any pattern you can spot it easier and perhaps relate it to particular events, TV shows, etc. Also, I find it a huge help when I'm at my wits end to look at baby pictures. May sound strange, but it reminds you of all the hope and promise they held and STILL HOLD. He is only 6, in a world not made for him, BUT with a great Mom... he'll get better.

[zette93]

With all those dx, has he been evaluated for Aspergers/High-Functioning Autism? A kid with AS could seem to have characteristics of each of those things. In any case, it might be worth finding a good behaviorist or ABA therapist to identify the triggers and help you implement strategies to handle him.

[USAfamily1]

I have not experienced this personally although DD does sometimes yell at me. I put a camera in my room and video taped her. When her medicine kicked in later in the day I showed her the video and she actually started crying. She gave me a big hug and appologized. Of course, this was not a perfect ending, she still has her moments but it really made a big difference. She didn't see herself acting like that, she saw it completely different as if it was me attacking her with words when I simply asked a question. It gave her a new perspective.

[Lunacie]

We are just coming out of several months of that kind of behavior with my 10 year old granddaughter.

Her diagnosis is Atypical Autism, Anxiety, and recently signs of ADHD and Depression.

She was on Risperidone and we were concerned with weight gain and sleeplessness.

So we talked to the p-doc and switched her to Abilify - that's when the crap really hit the fan.

She was never happy or smiling, always anxious, quite depressed, verbally and physically abusive.

We recently switched back from the Abilify to the Risperidone and how lovely to see a happy child again.

The adults aren't so happy because we're sleep deprived as she's only sleeping 4 to 5 hours a night.

And of course she's eating all the freaking time again.

Another meds check tomorrow, will see what the p-doc suggests. Maybe a smaller dose of Risperidone?

It's a very delicate balancing act apparently.

Was it the lack of Risperidone, or was it a bad reaction to Abilify? How do we know for sure?

[kylieshannon08]

hi i can understand what u r oing thru with your child being agressive my son is 4yo and he has started to be so agressive he is hitting me kicking me biting me pinching me throwing stuff around the house, and its so hard couse u know they r the most woundeful kides other wise im battling to get a diagnoses of adhd so far all my ped will say is he has some adhd tendencies but hasent full diagnosed adhd due to to his age and the fact he has a slight developmetel delay i would love to hear of any strudagess to deal with him when he is being so agressive

[Lunacie]

I suggest minimizing issues which make your son aggressive.

Give him choices.

Let him know that his choice determines what happens to him.

A great book that explains all this and gives great examples is:

How To Talk So Kids Will Listen - And Listen So Kids Will Talk

by Adele Faber. You might be able to check it out of the library,

or find it on amazon or ebay.