Just when I thought it couldn't get much worse...

[silivrentoliel]

... it does.

You know how they say "when it rains, it pours" ? Why are all those stupid sayings right?!

It was discovered yesterday a problem which I blindly believed 'fixed' in DH was VERY obviously NOT fixed... compliments on my insanely nosy behavior and gut feeling that I'd been trying to ignore. As upset and god-awful as he feels knowing I found out like I did, he's admitted he is actually really happy that he knows I'm in his corner fighting for him, because I don't give up. I'm stubborn and outright told him that it's time for me to step in and rescue him for once- from himself.

No, I'm not going to go into more detail. No, I'm not quite sure I'm ok, but I am handling everything a lot more rationally than I thought I would.

I just won't be online tons and tons (ok, I will during the day when I'm not working but not so much in the evenings or weekends), as we have decided to make a distinct effort to focus on each other in our free time rather than our electronics (not that he currently has any he can use, but that isn't the point).

I'm still just reeling though. My emotions are completely off the wall and I am really ****** I only have two xanax left to get me through what is to come.

[salleh]

Good luck to you .....things have been raggedy a** for you lately ....time to fall back and regroup.....

we'll be here, and wishing the best for you .....

[Sandy4957]

Never ignore that gut feeling.

You're a right-brained woman. Your "gut" is coming from your right brain.

Found that out the hard way.

[CheekyMonkey]

Best of luck! I'm glad you feel confident in your ability to get through this, it will serve you well!

[silivrentoliel]

Originally Posted by salleh

Good luck to you .....things have been raggedy a** for you lately ....time to fall back and regroup.....

we'll be here, and wishing the best for you .....

Salleh, yes... they have been pretty sh*tty lately. I can handle it though... it's just mentally really really hard. It becomes a battle against the physical me and the mental me. I believe this is how I came to be so d*mn stubborn

Originally Posted by Sandy4957

Never ignore that gut feeling.

You're a right-brained woman. Your "gut" is coming from your right brain.

Found that out the hard way.

Sandy, you are awesome. I can't explain how much better this made me feel (that and your message).

Originally Posted by CheekyMonkey

Best of luck! I'm glad you feel confident in your ability to get through this, it will serve you well!

CheekyMonkey, from your mouth to god's ears! I tend to me a massive "momma bear" when things threaten my family, DH said he was glad to have that part of me in his corner right now.

We are doing ok. We've set the ground rules for what he can and can't access, his phone is non-existant, and we are making everything we do about the other person... he is starting to spoil me with attention, and in turn, I am reciprocating. I believe this will not only help us get thru this, but make our relationship a LOT better in the long run- especially since we both have issues with neglect and abandonment.

Why we didn't take this approach before this sh*t happened, I'll never know. But I'm really proud of me for how calmly I am handling all this, and how he's not fighting me, but letting me make the calls about certain situations. Plus we are getting to spend a lot of real time together, not just in the same house or vegged out watching a movie. We're doing a lot of walking, I bought a tent for us to go camping, and when it cools down, we're going to start hiking.

I think we'll be ok. I hope we'll be ok. I hope I can smooth out that little voice in my head that wants to kill him sometimes.

[Fuzzy12]

Sil, I'm so sorry that you are having a tough time. It sounds like you are dealing with it very well but I can imagine that it must be exhausting. Don't forget to take good care of yourself too. It's easy to neglect ourselves when someone else is having a crisis.

Hope things get better soon. If you ever want to talk about anything you know where to find me. Huge hugs!!

[Sandy4957]

Wow, Sil, you're one tough chicka!! Tell DH that he's safe from an ***-whoopin' at the moment...

Hang tight, babycakes. Ain't no one better than you!!!

[silivrentoliel]

Originally Posted by Fuzzy12

Sil, I'm so sorry that you are having a tough time. It sounds like you are dealing with it very well but I can imagine that it must be exhausting. Don't forget to take good care of yourself too. It's easy to neglect ourselves when someone else is having a crisis.

Hope things get better soon. If you ever want to talk about anything you know where to find me. Huge hugs!!

thanks Fuzzy I'm doing pretty good so far, minus the fact I feel a bit crappy tonight... but I have a feeling that might be dinner's fault. Neither of us feel real good...

Originally Posted by Sandy4957

Wow, Sil, you're one tough chicka!! Tell DH that he's safe from an ***-whoopin' at the moment...

Hang tight, babycakes. Ain't no one better than you!!!

LOL I am a hard girl to break... helps though when I'm thinking and processing properly

[spunkysmum]

If you need to go Loretta Lynn on somebody's behind, we've got your back.

[Unmanagable]

((((((Hugs)))))

He's a lucky man.

[Raye]

Sounds like you are prioritizing. Good for you Siliv, best of luck.

[silivrentoliel]

Originally Posted by Unmanagable

((((((Hugs)))))

He's a lucky man.

He knows

[sarahsweets]

dont know whats going on, or what youre up to but mad props to airing it out here on the forums. HOLLA GIRL!

[silivrentoliel]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

don't know whats going on, or what you're up to but mad props to airing it out here on the forums. HOLLA GIRL!