how does it feel to grow old and have no affection from anyone?

[gearcube]

my mom won't live forever and at the rate that my skills with women progess I think it won't be surprising if I end up becoming like one of those miserable old men who have never had a relationship in their life.

I know that nothing anyone says here will make me feel better or improve the likelihood that I will find a woman, so don't bother giving me advice, I won't listen.

If the following applies to you, I just want to know how it feels to be old (ie: 50+) and not have anyone by your side. Is it very painful? Do you contemplate suicide on a regular basis?

[markadd]

Not true you'll always have rosey palm and her five sisters!

[Rebelyell]

Hell Im 37 and I feel this way now gear,god forbid I make it to fifty and i get some god aweful disease I will take my motorcycle at way over the speed limit and either run it into something or off a bridge.

[Mentalvortex]

I have to say that I can feel you, altough im "just" 28 years old. I have the very same fear, but I try to enjoy doing things on my own, like hobbies, school etc. Still, I feel that I can´t live my life without romantic love, and it makes me scared. However, nobody can force me to. There is always a chance to let go of life and die. I am not trying to encourage anybody to kill themselves, just writing my thoughts down.

[Fuzzy12]

I'm scared of being alone though i tend not to do too well with company either. I'm in the opposite boat though. Sorry I'm not trying to rub it in but sometimes i wish i was alone rather than having so many people care for me. It comes with it's own set of problems. Still, i guess it's better than the alternative.

I think though it doesn't matter how many people care for you if you can't stand yourself. You can be happy with your own company and you can find joy and fulfillment in life even on your own.

I don't think you Will end up alone but if you did I'd recommend getting a pet, especially a dog. They shower you with unconditional love and i guess can make better companions than most humans.

[LaMbaL]

It may sound cliché, but you should learn to love yourself first. This will both make you content - even happy - simply being on your own, and its a quality thats attractive to others: it makes them feel like you have some joy of life to offer, rather than being needy and energy draining.

The point of a relationship is that you both offer the other something that adds value to their life, makes it better/more interesting/more fun somehow. Self-pity is a negative offer; its self-defeating. If you can learn to love life and see some of its beauty, you can pass that feeling on to others and thus positively contribute to their lives.

[Bluerose]

I’m in that age bracket and I have come across some crabby older people and I feel for them; neighbours who never have any visitors, complaining about the noise kids make etc. etc. It must be an awful lonely existence.

My life was a struggle, the wife of a soldier, struggling to bring up three kids while trying to recover from a crappy childhood.

Three grown, wonderful kids and five grandkids later, it was worth all the worry, pain and suffering.

Hang in there folks - there’s hope for you yet.

[-nyr0c-]

I fear becoming old and alone more than anything, which is weird because I'm already pretty alone as an 18 year old... I guess it's because I feel like I'll have more opportunities as a young person than as an older person. But it won't matter unless I take advantage of those opportunities, right? =P Sucks to be so indecisive.

But I also think that as we age, we might have a better chance of appreciating ourselves and things we didn't appreciate before. Or I could be completely wrong, and older people really ARE more grumpy. XD

[crystal8080]

Originally Posted by gearcube

I know that nothing anyone says here will make me feel better or improve the likelihood that I will find a woman, so don't bother giving me advice, I won't listen.

*Prior applicants need not apply*

[Bluerose]

Here’s a heads up. Your future will be what you think it will be. So if you want it to be different, you have to think differently.

[MentalNomad]

I keep wondering how much of a disappointment I must seem to be in the eyes of my parents, what with the impression they get of me for being a 27 year old that has never been in a relationship (I've never tried to be, for reasons related to anxiety).

Then, I wonder how pathetic I must seem to everyone else when I display such deep concern over the approval or disapproval of my parents.

There is an inner discord there that I won't even bother to try and explain.

[Kirby Albee]

No offense to whomever posted it this time, but that "learn to love yourself first" idea is, I think, an inhumane one to foist on a social animal. Human beings are not individual; we get sick and go crazy in isolation. You can look this up. I don't think, then, that it's possible to love oneself without being, to some minimal extent, loved. I don't necessarily mean romantic love. But something. It's not right that lonely people keep getting told that a spiritual state that could very well be the result of a lack of love is it's cause.

I'd say try to make yourself useful somewhere. Get into some kind of reciprocal relationship with other people. Worry about romantic love after that. Marriages floating in a vacuum is unlikely, after all, to be our natural state.

[Kirby Albee]

Huffy sounding, wasn't I?

[Unmanagable]

I think you made a good point, Kirby.

I wasn't on the receiving end of much nurturing and healthy love in my life, and what you suggested was the path I had to use to begin learning how.

My outlet has been community groups/volunteering in areas that peaked my interest. The struggles remain, but the rewards are priceless when you can follow through.

I really struggled accepting healthy love from others (and still do at times) and would retreat.....but that healthy love eventually drew me back out.

[rockydaydreamer]

I'm only in my mid 20s and I'm happily single, always have been, and I plan to always be that way (did I mention "happy?"). To me, growing old and remaining single doesn't equate to being "alone" when I have friends and family for emotional support. Although, I wish I actually was interested enough in people that are close to me. I usually like getting "emotional support" by venting out about my problems to strangers who I don't know or watching funny people on youtube... it's as if I want "emotional support" without attachment to anyone.... hmm.. I tend to feel overwhelmed by social situations, that might be why.

Yeah, I know we're social creatures, but I prefer being the spectator who watches social situations for my own amusement...