Hate being alone?

[Danteloogi]

From what I've read around here, it seems like most people actually enjoy being alone. Does anybody actually despise it?

I am not a very social person at all and I rarely enjoy being around a lot of people, but I hate not having my brother or a girlfriend around. Just a single person who is around a lot. I get so lonely and sad that I begin to breakdown sometimes. I don't really know how to enjoy being alone because anytime I attempt to do so I can only wonder other people are up to, its all I can think about

[Slo-mo a-go-go]

Glad you asked this ~danteloogi
when were you dx'd and are you on any stims/ meds?

for me there is total switch that happened when I got dx'd and rx'd stims. (I only factoring in these years -15 to 33, my current age)

Bf dx/rx, I was dependent on the stimulation of other person's company, any person or 2 or 3 person, to get going and thinking, or else I was a catatonic slug.
No exageratting here folks, really, stared many a' days away, just a-staring at the wall!

After dx/rx, I am so thrilled by being able to spend time by myself, I finally am stimulated enough to think and do stuff by myself!!!! yeehaw!!!

now just trying to balance out my alone time with more social time, but I'll get better, helps that I live in such a vibrant city

[CheekyMonkey]

It's love/hate.

I need alone time, but when I also really enjoy having close friends to hang out with. However, I suck at making and keeping friends.

[mhyper790]

I think its just part of the conufsing descions that we have to make but its hard to make. Our minds can't be made up.. On one hand I like be alone on the other I don't...Gosh what do I choose.....GOTTA Love ADD/HD

But on a more serious note, its important to try to do what is perhaps one of the hardest things for an ADD person.. That is look at the bigger picture. For example you take me....I think I like being alone and have convinced myself of this...All so I can do what I want when I want with no one to bother me. Its almost as if we are always finding ways to convince ourselves why something must be, so that we can do that somthing that gives us instant pleasure.

The reality is I hate being alone and I want to get married..and Get into a serious relationship...But becuase I enjoy the benefits , and know only the benfits of a single life. Somehow I manage to convince myself that I like being alone and this is what it takes...All so I can have that quick pleasure... Perhaps this is part of the Impulsive section of ADD/HD

So see, I think that if we take the time to really think about, most of us will see that we don't like being alone, but only convince ourselves so that we can reap the benefits.

[Buzz23]

I hate being alone, but I hate being around insensitive morons even more. It takes me a very long time to trust people, and only a few wonderful (angelic?) people have had the patience to wait for me to open up.

Once you get me, I'm not all that unpredictable, but I come with a different operating manual than most, and the average person is too busy with his own life to bother reading the manual (my parents are two excellent examples).

So yes, I'm alone, and no, I don't like it, but I don't have much of a choice in the matter, so I pretend to be content so my parents can sleep at night, until summer ends and I can go back to college and to my fellow nut-jobs there who understand me.

That's just my take on it.

[spunkysmum]

I treasure what alone time I can get because I don't get nearly enough of it. If I got more of it, I might not crave it so much.

Your time alone would probably be more enjoyable for you if there was an activity you could get engrossed in. Is there something you enjoy doing or something you have always wanted to try, but nobody else you know seems at all interested in it? If there is, try doing it by yourself and really getting into it.

There's no law that says your alone time has to be spent in contemplation or doing nothing. Doing things on your own can be just as beneficial, and maybe more. I do my best thinking when I'm doing something.

You are probably the kind of person who just needs more social time and to draw your energy from other people, more than somebody like myself or others that you've noticed around here do, and that's OK. I'm not going to tell you there's something wrong with that any more than I like it when other people insinuate I'm a weirdo because I need alone time.

The one concern I would have is if you would find yourself desperate for any kind of company, and thinking you don't have a right to be choosy about the company you keep. Because you do have the right to be choosy. Even if you are the kind of person who needs company more than some of us do, it doesn't mean that you are obligated to be around people who don't support, uplift, or bring out the best in you. It doesn't mean, for instance, that you have to go out with the first girl that will have you just because you think you need a girlfriend, any girlfriend. I hate to see people get locked into relationships with people who don't treat them well because they think that's better than being alone. You can satisfy your need to be around other people without getting into a romantic relationship. Actually, participating in a social activity that involves people in a wide range of age groups can be very beneficial and conducive to personal growth, as you can learn from those older than you, be a positive influence on people younger than you, and learn how to relate to people from all walks and stages of life.

[Danteloogi]

Originally Posted by Buzz23

so I pretend to be content so my parents can sleep at night

That is exactly how I feel too. My poor mom, every time she sees me she starts to tear up and tells me that I'm such a wonderful person who deserves to be happy. It kills me to see her this way, but I don't think she understands the situation I'm in right now.

Originally Posted by spunkysmum

Is there something you enjoy doing or something you have always wanted to try, but nobody else you know seems at all interested in it? If there is, try doing it by yourself and really getting into it.

It seems like that would be my biggest problem. I haven't been able to start any hobbies because I just get mentally exhausted after 5 minutes of doing anything. I've only been on my medicine for a few weeks now and I can see a drastic change in being motivated to start projects and work on them. So maybe with time I'll feel better about all of this.

You are also right about me not feeling like I can be choosey when it comes to people. I feel like its a privilege to me when somebody wants to be my friend. Kind of backwards, but growing up I realized that not too many people would be able to handle me and the things I do. I guess I have just come to accept that

[TheChemicals]

I do like being alone at times but I don't like sleeping alone. I never sleep on my bed, my sofa instead, when I'm alone. Also if I'm in a very social time with a lot of activity, I can't stand being alone.