Anyone fairly decent at speaking/speech/monolog but fail in conversation?

[sbcy]

I dunno, looking back to my high school speech classes, I for some reason did fairly well consistently despite being basically a social phobic. I learned to cover my fear of interacting with people be putting out an extra sense of confidence. At the time I guess I didn't realize that my faking this may actually have been convincing. I was too self conscious to realize people are too worried about themselves usually to pay much attention to you. In high school, I would much rather get up in front of the class to speak about something, than hold a conversation. I haven't developed my speaking & presentation abilities because of this lack of socialization but my enthusiasm seems to be convincing enough to people so I figure it might be something worth developing? Any idea how to develop this? Anyone else like this?

[MikhailTal]

Practice makes perfect. When I was 16, I had a lot of difficulty with talking in general. I always thought it had to do with my social anxiety. Nowadays, I'm better at speaking and I work at a market and have to talk a lot with customers. Which helped me get over a lot of social anxiety. I still find it difficult to speak fluently, I'm just more experienced with dealing with it. I know now it doesn't have to do with anxiety in my cause. It's just because my mind is too rapid for my mouth.

So if your speech problem has to do with ADHD, it will always be difficult I guess. One thing to remember, is to force yourself to speak slowly. If it has to do with social anxiety, just force yourself to be around people and talk with them! Get a job at a shop.

[CheekyMonkey]

I was on speech team too! I also stink at conversations. My BIGGEST mistake is forgetting to ask people about themselves. I usually get lots in my own thoughts and how things connect to me.


People love to talk about themselves, so if you ask questions about them they will think you are interested and be more interested in the conversation.

[ginniebean]

Yes, and there's a good reason for this. If you have structure, like a speech, or a structured interaction it's easier to prepare. Social occaisions are very difficult to prepare for because the variety of things that go on are too curve ballish to predict.

[Buzz23]

I love acting, and can hold my own pretty well in a debate - I love using my free-thinking abilities to prove someone wrong. but when it comes to conversation, either I can't hold up my side of the conversation or I hog the whole conversation. Also, I can never seem to come up with appropriate topics of conversation.

[gatorADDe]

I can relate to this. Giving speeches are easier for me than mingling at a party because I've planned on what I'm going to say and practiced how I'm going to say it. The idea of mingling to me is treacherous. People expect you to be open and friendly, but when you're anxious and timid you come across as awkward. I have no problems in conversation with people I feel comfortable around but I've come to terms with the fact that I'll never be one of those "social butterflies."

[alan1]

Making conversation? Blech! I'm beyond awful. It is unstructured and often hard to focus for prolonged periods of time on the other speaker.

Public speaking on the other hand can be prepared and practiced. Slides can be made and used as talking points and memory joggers. It can be tweaked and tweaked some more. Of course the talks would be even better if I prepared long enough in advance but that is never going to happen : ))