Could really do with some advice please

[mummysmith2005]

Hi,

I have 3 children but am concerned about my eldest as I really do feel that she has ADHD and I'm not sure if I'm barking up the wrong tree or if I'm right in taking her to the Dr next week.

Ok so DD1 is 7 1/2, she has always kept me on my toes shall we say but over the last 2 or so years her behaviour has been very challenging. To the point it has caused us problems with neighbours and friends.

Apparently she is actually ok at school, and is just under average in all areas. I had a very hard year with her last year but her teacher assured me she was fine in class. Jan of this year (after she had moved into year 2) her TA tells me that she was very difficult last year but has greatly improved this school year. She has no idea why Mrs L told me she was fine. Grrr.

I took her to see Dr over a year ago now but because she was still so young at the time and the school were insisting there was no problem they just fobbed me off as a crazy mum.

However I am now at a point where I feel this can't be normal.

Some of her behaviours that cause issues are:

*Waking VERY early and being excessively noisy and bouncy. It used to be 4.30, now its between 5 and six usually just before 6.

*She is a very loud child and is constantly making noise of some description 24/7. She shouts when she talks, sings at the top or her lungs, she's just loud.

*The only time she is still is if she is on the computer. She runs, jumps and stomps everywhere, she climbs on things and can't stand in a cue at a checkout for instance. She has to go fiddle with something or run off.

*She has real trouble sharing and can not wait for anything. Even the toilet she shouts at people to hurry up and barges in.

*She can not carry out tasks she is asked to do, she is so forgetful. She will get to the top of the stairs and have to come back to ask what she was meant to be doing. Or she just dosen't come back or do anything.

*she loses EVERYTHING! This is one thing the school do admit, I have had to lable everything of hers with neon pinkl name tag to help with locating her stuff, but it has made no difference. Same at home she can never find anything.

*She has no concept of danger and will happily run into the road, walk along the curb with her arms in the road and never pay attention to where she is going.

*Her personal hygiene is shocking. She has to be almost forced to have a bath sometimes and will not wash or have her hair washed without a screaming match. She never wipes after the toilet and has had urine infections because of this. She also hates brushing her teeth.

*She does really odd/gross things, like she will pick chewing gum up from the floor and chew it. This is a regular thing and nothing we say makes a difference. She also puts used toilet paper on the floor when she does remember to use it. Also she will happily paint the bathroom with toothepaste or conditioner just because she felt like it.

*Education is very important to me and I enjoy teaching my children. DD2 was reading at 3 DS1 is 2 1/2 and already learning his phonics, knows his numbers, shapes, coulours ect. DD1 however has never been able to focus on anything I try and do with her for long if at all. Even playing family games or baking.

*She is a nightmare with food and very stubborn. She also steals food which sounds odd but is a massive problem for me.

*Timeout or removing toys do not matter a bit to her. She will be in trouble for the same thing 3 or 4 times a day and she still continues to do it.

So is she normal and I'm just over sensitive or am I right to go back to the dr?

Sorry its so long and well done if you got this far

Dawn x

[zette93]

I'd say you are justified in taking her to the doctor. To get an ADHD diagnosis, however, she is supposed to show issues in two settings (ie home AND school), so if the school isn't admitting that she is having difficulty, it makes thinks tougher. Have her teachers been given an ADHD rating scale to fill out (such as the Conners), or have the reports all just been verbal and descriptive (like "bright and creative child, just needs to apply herself.")? If you could get an email from the TA detailing what she is like in school that might help, or if not, get specific details and write down what she tells you verbally and take it with you to the doctor. I'm not familiar with the UK system, hopefully someone from there can help with specifics.

Good luck!

[USAfamily1]

Well it sounds like you might have very good reason to bring her to the Dr. My daughter was diagnosed at 4. I was working at a gym in the nursery and while I worked with all of the other children her age with flash cards, she would literally run around the table. she was able to answer the flash cards correctly but could not do it sitting down. If I did force her to sit down she would grab at everything within arms reach and bother the other children so no one could pay attention, so I let her run.

She was advanced. In fact when DD2 came around I took her to the Dr because she wasn't pronunciating at 2 while ADHD DD1 was already reciting her alphabet by 2. The computer was easy for her to focus on but she still could not sit still. She was always tripping because her mind was 10 steps ahead of her body. She is now medicated and 17yo but still takes food in her room like you mentioned. We do not starve her or deprive her but I will find boxes of cereal or pop tarts under her bed when we do deep cleaning in there (gas masks are suggested).

Good luck and keep us informed.

[Lunacie]

Doesn't sound like you're just a crazy mum to me.

Sounds like you have some very real concerns there.

For some great information and parenting tips, check out Dizfriz's Corner in the parenting section.

[ginniebean]

I agree with the others, sounds like you need to get this tested. Also, please do read dizfriz corner, it really does help.

[happytexas]

Conners is primarily an evaluation of hyperactivity and isn't great in evaluating other ADHD symptoms. I would also try to get evaluations from all her teachers/aids; not necessarily something like Conners but something that invites narrative responses.

ADHD UK
ARE WE PAYING ENOUGH ATTENTION?

LARGEST UK PARENT CONVENTION

Support Groups

ADHD UK: your child's legal rights – what your child entitled to by law, claiming benefits

Other Support groups

• ADDISS
• Association for Cognitive Analytic Therapy
• Bullying UK
• Hyperactive Children's Support Group

Attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder Symptoms-NHS

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) - Diagnosis - NHS

[tad laddish]

Zette93 is right it does have to be present in two settings to get diagnosed in the UK. It may be that it is present at school but either the school is in denial or they don't have the experience or skills to recognise the symptoms.

Our son was diagnosed at just over 7 years old and it was a) the school who first drew our attention to it being ADHD and b) the school who pushed with us for a referral and diagnosis to the extent of his teacher attending his appointment with the consultant. Without this I don't think we would have got our diagnosis.

In fact I think it was the fact that the two questionairres from us and the school when filled out independently were almost identical that confirmed the diagnosis for the consultant

It's tough to get a diagnosis here I'm afraid you have to push and push and chase up all the time with the relevant authorities. Definitely go back to the GP, unfortunately ours was no help to us at all it was mainly the school especially the SENCO and school nurse.

You're not being crazy or over sensitive, the symptoms you describe in some cases are typical with our sons and in the case of the odd/gross things as you put it even more severe as our son doesn't exhibit any of those.

Stick with it, push the school, ask to speak to the SENCO if there is one and ask them to observe your daughter in class. The last 9 months for us have been tough but the improvements in school and general after diagnosis and medication have been worth it.

Good luck