Stigmatized & dismissed

[betweendreams]

I went to see my primary last Tuesday to talk to her about my focusing and memory problems. She kept saying "So what do you want to do about it!" as though she weren't the doctor. She insisted that since I graduated college and am about to start graduate school, that there is no way I could have AD/HD. She told me that I definitely should not go on medications, because of the bad side effects (as though there is a medication without side effects...), and that if I really want help I should get a life coach. I told her I wanted to see a psychiatrist for further evaluation, and she said that there was no reason for that, but she would make an appointment for me to see the psychologist. I called them back the next day to see if my appointment had been made yet, and it hadn't. I still haven't heard anything from them. I suspect I'm getting the run around She made me feel awful about myself; I had already put off going to the doctor for years about having possible AD/HD because I was afraid of this very thing happening--the doctor judging and not believing me. (I should also mention that I'm female so I already felt like she wouldn't believe me just since males are diagnosed more.)

I have read in places that it is possible to do well in school even with untreated AD/HD, so it is disheartening that she jumped down my throat since I've graduated college. I have done well in school, but mostly because I am intelligent, well-behaved, and I don't allow myself to have any hobbies or much of a social life during the academic year. Even so, I still manage to waste a ton of time on the computer and find myself staying up really late and getting up really early (lots of 4 am's) to finish papers and study for exams. Even with lots of procrastination, coming to classes late, missing classes in an attempt to get caught up on work, losing syllabi and assignment sheets, I still graduated at the top of my class.

Therefore, I am not seeking medications to help with school, but with other areas of life. I cannot focus on a conversation for the life of me--especially in a group of people. However, I can get hyperfocused on a videogame and lose hours into it, before I become bored with it. I never finish a video game or any other kind of project that I'm really into. Often, I'll interrupt people, either to change the subject because something else pops into my head or to finish their sentence, because I can't wait for them to finish slowly. I miss directions and instructions at school and work, and since I can't pay attention, I have constant miscommunications that I have to clear up with close friends and colleagues alike. I am constantly losing things and my car, desk space, house, etc. are in constant disarray. I can hardly remember a book or movie I've just watched, because I'll zone out while reading/watching. I have to read/watch over and over if I want to retain any of the even basic information. People ask how I always read so fast, and it's because I skip over passages that are seemingly "too long" or uninteresting, but can't admit that I'm always skim reading and can't remember a darn thing. I can't slow myself down while reading either. I am always late for appointments/social events/school/work, and I am always speeding while driving and drive recklessly/impulsively without realizing it. I just got another speeding ticket (almost $200 out with that...) and have tried so hard to focus on driving the speed limit, but being able to seems beyond me. It takes a LOT of concentration.

All of these things, to me, point toward ADD. I think I'm primarily inattentive since I can't stay focused, my thoughts are drifting/day dreaming, etc. However, the whole school thing apparently is the "be all and end all" to my doctor and she seems to be avoiding giving me the recommendation to a psychologist or psychiatrist who could help. I need that recommendation for insurance reasons. What do I do now? Am I totally off base in thinking I may have AD/HD?

[CheekyMonkey]

This happens a lot. Just ignorance, really. There are tons of us here who did well in school and grad school, but still suffer from other consequences of ADHD.

You need to see someone who specialized in adult ADHD. Don't get disheartened, and trust yourself!

[Greg1982]

She made me feel awful about myself

#1 reason to get a second opinion. YOU are the patient paying for the providers services. If you aren't comfortable with your provider move on to the next, especially for something such as this. It's one thing if you need emergency surgery and the best doc has no people skills. It's another to trust your personal life to someone you're not comfortable with.

[ToneTone]

Can I ask:

Why are you wasting time with a primary doctor?

A primary doctor knows as much about ADHD as that little pidgeon on the corner.

Go to a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists read journals on this. They go to conferences. They have a nuanced understanding of the brain--way better than primary care doctors.

Primary care doctors are often uncomfortable prescribing stimulants. Psychiatrists do it all the time.

Plus, ADHD is complicated. You're going to get mediocre to fully inadequate treatment by going to a primary.

There's also the issue that many ADHDers have other conditions, such as anxiety and depression. And we're vulnerable to addictions of all kinds. There is a huge bit of territory that you want to be able to cover, and you'll never get there with a primary doctor. Or if you do, you've gotten lucky.

Is there a reason you're not going to a psychiatrist?

Tone

[betweendreams]

Thanks all for your responses.

If I understand my insurance coverage correctly, I need to have my primary's referral to specialists in order to insure that I get full insurance coverage. But I could be wrong. That was the reason I went to my primary--so she could refer me to someone who could help.

Of course, she is refusing to do that.

My insurance changes in a few weeks so I guess I'll just have to wait. I'll be covered by my school's insurance policy instead. To utilize their mental health facilities, I have to go see a regular doctor at the University Health Services first to be able to make an appointment with a psychiatrist. So here again I go through the anxiety of dealing with another doctor before I can go see the psych.

[CheekyMonkey]

Originally Posted by betweendreams

Thanks all for your responses.

If I understand my insurance coverage correctly, I need to have my primary's referral to specialists in order to insure that I get full insurance coverage. But I could be wrong. That was the reason I went to my primary--so she could refer me to someone who could help.

Of course, she is refusing to do that.

My insurance changes in a few weeks so I guess I'll just have to wait. I'll be covered by my school's insurance policy instead. To utilize their mental health facilities, I have to go see a regular doctor at the University Health Services first to be able to make an appointment with a psychiatrist. So here again I go through the anxiety of dealing with another doctor before I can go see the psych.

Very frustrating, but perhaps in the long run this will be a much better option! Hang in there! Keep us updated!

[sarahsweets]

If your primary doctor won't refer you then switch. She is a moron. Find a new doc and tell her to f**k off.

[Plognark]

Your doctor is woefully out of date on the condition. Forget her and go see a psychiatrist to get a proper evaluation.

[ToneTone]

Sorry to hear about the frustrations with the crazy primary doctor.

I have NEVER heard of a primary care doctor refusing to refer someone who is requesting a visit to a psychiatrist.

But there is some good news here, it seems. If this psychologist is decent, then she/he can refer you to a psychiatrist or send a note to the primary saying it is their opinion that you must go to a psychiatrist.

Hang in there. All doctors are not idiots like this one.

So maybe just see what the psychologist says. I was ultimately diagnosed by a psychologist, and then my psychiatrist (who'd been treating me for depression) confirmed the diagnosis after I told him about him and showed him a copy of the evaluation sheet the psychologist had on me.

Hang in there.

Tone

[phantasm]

betweendreams - I saw my primary care doc just like you and he wouldn't refer me to a psychiatrist either. However he did refer me to a psychologist whom I requested testing for ADHD, the psychologist then got me to see a pshychiatrist for the treatment plan of ADHD. Maybe research the new insurance right now for psychologists/psychiatrist that specialize in ADHD so you are ready to pounce when you get your new insurance.

And be sure that you have to go through a referal first or not. Because you may be able to skip the primary doc and go straight to the right ologist/iatrist directly.

hang in there!

[T-Rex65]

I am one of those ADHDers who did well in school, but is having a hard time managing the rest of my life. Don't give up.

[betweendreams]

Originally Posted by ToneTone

But there is some good news here, it seems. If this psychologist is decent, then she/he can refer you to a psychiatrist or send a note to the primary saying it is their opinion that you must go to a psychiatrist.

True, but the doctor's office still hasn't made the appointment for me. They know that my insurance is changing so I asked them if they could try to make the appointment ASAP, but they still haven't done it. I've called them twice about it and haven't been given the information about the psychologist so that I can just arrange it myself. So, I've effectively been given the run around, and am now just resigned to wait to see a new doctor/psychiatrist when I start my graduate program/insurance.

Alas, I procrastinated on calling University Health Services today and will call tomorrow..I'll definitely take phantasm's suggestion of finding out whether I can see a psychologist/psychiatrist right off the bat. Thanks!

[betweendreams]

So, my primary may not have been as useless/dismissive as I thought.

I ended up getting contacted by their offices on the 14th saying that they have been trying really hard to get me in with a psychologist but most psychs would want to see me multiple times, and since my insurance is changing soon, it'd be difficult to arrange for that.

So my doctor went ahead and wrote me a prescription for adderall anyway. I'm totally shocked. Wasn't she just entirely opposed to writing me a prescription for it a few weeks ago?

Anyway, I went ahead and made an appointment for Monday to have an ADHD evaluation done at the university I'll be starting school at in a week because I figure I need a psychiatrist to fully diagnose me and see how I am doing, etc.

[salleh]

well if you wrote your symptoms down the way you did in your opening post ....and she read it , then looked up ADHD in adults,,,, she probably realized that she was wrong .....

your's sound like classic symptoms to me .....

good luck .....

[CheekyMonkey]

Originally Posted by betweendreams

So, my primary may not have been as useless/dismissive as I thought.

I ended up getting contacted by their offices on the 14th saying that they have been trying really hard to get me in with a psychologist but most psychs would want to see me multiple times, and since my insurance is changing soon, it'd be difficult to arrange for that.

So my doctor went ahead and wrote me a prescription for adderall anyway. I'm totally shocked. Wasn't she just entirely opposed to writing me a prescription for it a few weeks ago?

Anyway, I went ahead and made an appointment for Monday to have an ADHD evaluation done at the university I'll be starting school at in a week because I figure I need a psychiatrist to fully diagnose me and see how I am doing, etc.

Glad you were able to find some help.