Conflicted... any support please??

[PsychicRachel]

Hey all.... My name is Rachel... I am new to the forum... I was diagnosed with ADD back in 1992 when it was the popular thing for schools to do... lol... I know over the years that yes indeedy I do have it.... So, here I am now 31 and wanting to just have a change in my life... I have not taken Dextroamphetamine now for about 3 years... I did go to my doctor recently and got a script..

I currently take Welbutrin XL 150 daily... I have had the script for dex for a while...

Here is my issue... I just want a life where I don't have to take medications to function... but my house is a pig stye (no joke) my work is suffering due to my lack of motivation... My business went down the tubes a year ago... I mean I need to get things together... I hate staring at this pill bottle and thinking "a couple pills a day will give me what I need".

I know I will take it... I either need to get comfortable with the idea that I need it.... if I don't... I will just feel like a failure even if I have the motivation!

Does anyone else go through this?

Do you just give in and learn to love your medication?

What else is there to do?

I can't live in crap... and just feel bad about myself all the time

Help new friends!

[Hatiki]

Hey Rachel
Im new (ish) too.

I don't know really how it is in the US, but in Oz there's a real "attitude" about stimulant meds. Like we are somehow all scamming a legal high, or drugging children to make them behave, or some equally nasty thing.

.....and, to an extent, the meds only roughly do what we need them to. For a few hours, most days, I'm approximately functional.... (less lately - thats another story)

Thing is, a few hours of functional is a thousand times better than what i had before (diagnosed at 41 I think)

...and I have learned some skills around getting myself going in spite of myself because I know what functional feels like. So even when they aren't in my system, meds have allowed me to learn more about how to live....... taught me i can achieve some things......

Don't get me wrong... still struggling like crazy..... but the misery my ADHD was causing me before treatment could have killed me

The other thing is: If the doctor told you to take insulin to treat diabetes, would you feel the same conflict (sorry, that sounds harsh... defo don't mean it to be)

Anyway, In my humble opinion, nothing wrong with taking the appropriate medicine for your condition. If anyone says otherwise, well, they can swap heads with me for a week. They'll be on their knees crying for dex.....

[CheekyMonkey]

Does having to take a pill everyday in order function suck?

Yes.


The alternative is even worse though. Not the best choices, but it is what it is.

I hope you can become comfortable enough that you take the meds, feel better, and know you are making the best choices with the options that you have.

[sarahsweets]

i would prefer to be dependent on a med than the shambles my life could be without it.

[Hatiki]

lol... thats what I was trying to say.... had a lot of trouble getting to the point!

[T-Rex65]

Do you function better on your meds? Then you need to take them.

If you needed glasses to see better, would you resist wearing them?

[ginniebean]

Eventually you have to choose to take your adhd seriously or to continue to deny it. I strongly recommend learning more about adhd because it will hurt you, it already is.

Just because it's not physical pain and it roblems that stem from that does not make it any less real or any easier to deal with.

Time to look at this new.

[ToneTone]

The truth:

• I feel no shame or embarrassment about having to take meds each day in order to function at the absolutely highest level I can.
  
• I feel no shame or embarrassment about having a mother and father that were the most educated people in the neighborhood I grew up in. (I didn't earn this background--it was as out of my control as my ADHD condition is.)
  
• I have absolutely no shame or embarrassment about the fact that my father had a great job and could afford to send me to a great private school.
  
• I have absolutely no shame that sometimes my shoulder arthritis acts up so badly that I have to take ibuprofen in order to get through the day.
  
• I have absolutely no shame or embarrassment that I function best when I have some good friends who give me encouragement and love and support.
  
• The truth is I feel incredibly proud of myself for looking honestly at my God-given gifts and God-given limitations and trying to make the most of what I have by taking a medicine that helps me overcome my limitations.

I am willing to say you that you have a point about not wanting to take meds,

But in order for me to say that, I also need you to agree that people who need eyeglasses ought not wear them. They are, after all, dependent on something outside of themselves. In the old days, they would just live with not being able to see well. They are getting an advantage based on medical technology, the same medical knowledge that provides insight into the way the brain functions and which comes up with stimulants.

Frankly, I wonder if you're depressed. This is typical depression thinking (I know I've been there many times.) I need a car to get to work, but when someone offers me a car as a gift, I think I shouldn't take it because having the car will give me some kind of unfair advantage that others don't have. That is depression logic.

So consider this: if you aren't willing to take an ADHD med, how about going in for an evaluation for depression?

People stuck in the rut of depression (I was there and I know that depression really doesn't help our judgment), come up with hesitations like this.

We ADHDers have impaired thinking and impaired brain control. It's not a fantasy. It's real, and it is hugely crippling to many of us. We can't control the original condition, but we can control how we respond to it, and when there is a possibility of a helpful response and we ignore it, then we lose some basic self respect and a lot of respect from others.

Tone

[FreewayFlyer04]

I do need to take my stuff. Adderall XR to be functional with people, (my standards of behavior are not socially compatable, not evil, just very random.) I need Ibuprofen, or I can't work. I need glasses, or I can't drive. It is depressing, and I do get frustrated, tired, and apathetic. Hard to put one foot in front of the other sometimes, but open up the toolbox, and use what works. Do something to reward yourself, if that sort of thing works for you, and then have at it.

[amiegrace]

The social stigma of having an illness that other people can't "see" has lead to the common sense that there is something innately wrong with us. Depending on your schooling, parents, learning disabilities, etc. a sense of shame can run pretty deep. It's very common and normal for people with ADD to feel this way.

I no longer feel a deep sense of shame about meds -- I'm so glad they exist! I think of taking my meds not really as something I do for myself, but for my family, my students, my coworkers, etc. I'm less dependable, less happy, less easy to get along with, less patient, etc etc, w/o meds, and this affects the people who are important to me.

That being said, with age comes a sense that I don't really give a crap what people think too much anymore. So my car is a rolling dump -- I didn't ask you to get in (which you couldn't on the passenger side anyway because of the mess and my kids are stuffing up the back seat). I don't ask you to come to my house (meds haven't really solved that problem), and I don't ask for your opinion.

The people that love you will accept you regardless, and the other people have no right to sit in the judgment seat over you. Believe me, they have problems of their own or they wouldn't need to judge you.

Don't suffer needlessly. Not taking the meds doesn't make you a better person. You're okay already!

[Kelseyeliz]

Hello =]

I was just diagnosed with adhd and prescribed medication about 2 1/2 weeks ago, and originally I had gone into the psychiatrist to talk about alternative ways of coping. I already knew I had adhd, but I hate taking drugs- Advil isn't even an option until the pain gets past the point of functioning. I struggled with the idea for about the first week. The idea of having to rely on a drug to "fix" you is a very depressing thought. If there's one thing adhd-ers can all understand, it's the need to want to be able to control ourselves and our minds, not need a pill to help us through life.

So I know I'm very new to this, and that you've been struggling for a long time, but I've learned a few things recently that I am hoping will also benefit you. The first came when I finally decided to confide in one of my friends about my decision. I had been expecting something negative- ridicule, dislike, disapproval- but instead, all she said was, "I'm proud of you". She went on to say that it takes courage to recognize that there's something I need help with and to do what it takes to get that assistance. It's not something to be ashamed of, just the opposite. Sometimes, getting help means that you're even stronger than you thought.

The second thing I learned is that medication is not something to "rely" upon. We don't need it, we are all beautiful, intelligent people who could get through life just fine without the medication, we would just have a lot more suffering. The medication does not turn us into the people we think we need to be, it allows us to be the happy and healthy people we *are* without most of the frustration and other negativity adhd can cause.

Popping a pill has always seemed like the enemy. The mantra, "I don't NEED it" is overused by some people (me, and it sounds like you, included). And the truth is, we don't need it. But it is also true that the pills are NOT our enemy. The pills are there when we are able to recognize that something can be done to make us happier and healthier, and be STRONG enough to go after that better lifestyle. Denying ourselves that extra assistance is just cruel sometimes.

Being able to celebrate the wonderful person you are is one of the most beautiful things in the world. The pills aren't something that you're going to have to live with, the pills are that something that are going to help you live with yourself, and to reinforce your happiness with yourself and the world around you.

So I don't know if anyone has told you this yet but I, for one, and SO proud of you for taking this step. I hope that you are able to recognize that you do not need to rely on the drugs to really live, you are just strong enough to use the assistance available to you in order to better exhibit (mostly to yourself) how wonderful you truly are =]

Take your life back into your own hands. And keep us informed on how you are doing!

Hope this helped a little~

~Kels

[beechlover]

I can so relate to what you are feeling! Over the years I have felt this way about depression meds and ADD meds. I think part of it is being around my husband who is so different from me, and has a very anti-med stance. BUT, at this point he doesn't really need it.

So, perhaps it would help to have a supportive person telling you it's OK.......we are here, but I mean someone in person.

My way of thinking is that I was born with some of my circuits out of whack, through no fault of my own. It's a physical reality that my brain is different that those without ADD. If the world wasn't such a superr-busy, highly structured place, we wouldn't need the drugs. But, in today's work world, the typical day is a challenge for my brain.

So, I take the drugs because it levels the playing field. It allows my brain to screen out the distractions that other people's brains screen out without any help. To NOT take the drugs leads you to another possible reality...one of continuing to live below your abilities, and suffer the mental repercussions of that. Not that everyone has to take the drugs to be productive. If you have the right job, you may not need it.

The other thing is, taking the drug lets you know what you are missing. That is enough of a personal epiphany to motivate you to use all the other ways to organize your life to deal with your issues. It's all about routines and external reminder systems, and managing stress.

So, remember that though others can't see it, ADD is a physical issue for which there is a medical treatment. Why that becomes such a issue of apparent character is because there are lots of people out there who are incapable of understanding how very REAL ADD is.

Good luck with your decision. Know that in addition to the meds you can take fish oil and Vitamin D to halp memory and mood.

[doiadhd]

Wish i had a bottle of the proper medication needed to sort my head out. . .

[TheChemicals]

pop meds, continue life.

[sarahsweets]

Originally Posted by Kelseyeliz

Hello =]

I was just diagnosed with adhd and prescribed medication about 2 1/2 weeks ago, and originally I had gone into the psychiatrist to talk about alternative ways of coping. I already knew I had adhd, but I hate taking drugs- Advil isn't even an option until the pain gets past the point of functioning. I struggled with the idea for about the first week. The idea of having to rely on a drug to "fix" you is a very depressing thought. If there's one thing adhd-ers can all understand, it's the need to want to be able to control ourselves and our minds, not need a pill to help us through life.

So I know I'm very new to this, and that you've been struggling for a long time, but I've learned a few things recently that I am hoping will also benefit you. The first came when I finally decided to confide in one of my friends about my decision. I had been expecting something negative- ridicule, dislike, disapproval- but instead, all she said was, "I'm proud of you". She went on to say that it takes courage to recognize that there's something I need help with and to do what it takes to get that assistance. It's not something to be ashamed of, just the opposite. Sometimes, getting help means that you're even stronger than you thought.

The second thing I learned is that medication is not something to "rely" upon. We don't need it, we are all beautiful, intelligent people who could get through life just fine without the medication, we would just have a lot more suffering. The medication does not turn us into the people we think we need to be, it allows us to be the happy and healthy people we *are* without most of the frustration and other negativity adhd can cause.

Popping a pill has always seemed like the enemy. The mantra, "I don't NEED it" is overused by some people (me, and it sounds like you, included). And the truth is, we don't need it. But it is also true that the pills are NOT our enemy. The pills are there when we are able to recognize that something can be done to make us happier and healthier, and be STRONG enough to go after that better lifestyle. Denying ourselves that extra assistance is just cruel sometimes.

Being able to celebrate the wonderful person you are is one of the most beautiful things in the world. The pills aren't something that you're going to have to live with, the pills are that something that are going to help you live with yourself, and to reinforce your happiness with yourself and the world around you.

So I don't know if anyone has told you this yet but I, for one, and SO proud of you for taking this step. I hope that you are able to recognize that you do not need to rely on the drugs to really live, you are just strong enough to use the assistance available to you in order to better exhibit (mostly to yourself) how wonderful you truly are =]

Take your life back into your own hands. And keep us informed on how you are doing!

Hope this helped a little~

~Kels

I am confused.....are yousaying no one needs medication, or medication is ok?