Handing out ultimatums

[EnergizerJen]

So 90% of the time I let people walk all over me because I hate speaking out. However, lately I've been struggling really hard with depression and other related bs. So---

I am dern tired of getting kicked in the teeth while everyone runs around getting blue ribbons and door prizes for behaving like a monster.

So-I'm getting sassy.

And handing out ultimatums.

I don't think I'll like whichever they choose, but just to be handing them out feels super nice.

Booo-yea.

Maybe it will make some of them rethink themselves.

Perhaps it will stay the same.

We. Shall. See.

[CheekyMonkey]

*hides*




Let me know how that works out. I care too much about the outcome. If you don't care either way, I suppose it would have its uses.

[EnergizerJen]

I think I've gotten to that point.

The end of a very long rope.

I do care about the outcome, but I care more about my happiness.

I'd rather cry and know the truth, then smile and be lied too.


**Maybe secretly I'm hoping that they just realize I won't tolerate it and quit.
If they don't quit...

That's when I will have to follow through.

It's about dang time I did.

[dragokatzov]

Good! Go get em! you deserve better anyways!

[salleh]

Sometimes ...ya just gotta get rid of the deadwood in your life .....

the people in your life should make your life better and more interesting ....they should be people who inspire you .....they should be interesting people ....

if you hang out with bottom feeders, you will get muddy .....


and no matter if they are interesting ...if they walk all over you ...they are users...and vampires....they'll suck the life right out of you....there are those folks who lift themselves up by stepping on other folks ....and unfortunatley, they are often fascinating people.....just deadly to get close to ...it's an illusion anyway, no one truely gets close to those kind of people


if that's the case here ...RUN LIKE HELL !! get out, get out now .....

sometimes we stay with people cause we've known them forever ..and we haven't stopped to notice that they are a drag and we have outgrown them.....or that they are causing actual harm to us ....

they're just a habit .......


I'm not talking about a "I am wonderful and everyone else is a jerk" kind of mentality .....I'm talking about sometimes ....it's just time to move on ....

[EnergizerJen]

That is exactly it salleh.

I've been crying for months over ridiculous conundrums in my head and people/things in my life running buck wild.

Sometimes I live in this little fantasy world where I allow other people to get away with crappy behaviours and even allow myself to get away with crappy behaviours.

I should have done more to clarify my post. Maybe it was dumb all together-

I just think it's high past time to get motivated enough to try and start some boundaries. I have a kind of unique situation going on lately, and I've lost most of my family and my friends.

Some of it is due to my inability to return phone calls or maintain the little aspects of a relationship, but the others....

I have to push them out. I have to get past them so I can get past myself. Since I've lost so many relationships (platonic) or otherwise; I find myself holding on long past time.

I think my thread for something for me to come and get motivated too.




May I ask a more appropriate question?

How do you all handle the people in your lives who maybe aren't worth kicking out the door completely, but you need to stand some ground with?


My parents divorced young, dad moved away and my mother drank. Heavily.

A lot of those skills that a parent passes down (life/people skills) I missed.
Undiagnosed until an adult has left it's mark also.

I wish I could retitle my thread and it would say:

what are your suggestions?

What do you do when there aren't that many people in your life and you can't afford to pick up, move on, and never look back?

Thanks everyone.

[sarahsweets]

Ultimatums remind me of the mafia...not a fan.

[TheChemicals]

*off topic- wow you have an amazing smile. You look like a better version of starbuck from battlestar galactica . I'm always impressed at how many physically attractive people are in this community. Dios te hiso con gana.


*topic- I unfortunatly handle people(family,friends,coworkers) as expendables. Yeah its ugly, but I rather be by myself most times and when people get out of control with me I remove them from my world entirely. The benefit to this is that you recollect a lot of your personal energy and get a powerful sense of relief. The bad side is that you have to go back to them, otherwise anxiety and depression return because we all need human connections.

I haven't spoke/seen my mother since new years for her atrocities against my heart. My brothers did equally terrible things, but I have reintroduced them to my life back 3 months ago. They know I have a low threshold for toxic behavior so when I reappear they try harder to not walk over my emotions.

You know what... This thread has motivated me to calll my other brother today as well and let him know that.... "Its all good". We all need eachothers comfort even if it feels like your hugging a cactus sometimes.

Thank you- ill be signing autographs till 6pm est. Buh bye.

[EnergizerJen]

*off topic-Thank you for the ego boost

I appreciate it.

*on topic-I don't speak to any of my family except my gma, gpa, and my two younger siblings. The younger siblings are tentative relationships at best. We don't talk much.

Some days I'm really lonely and I'll reach out...

It's like I'm gun shy...

How many times do you allow yourself to get hit in the face with a brick before you duck?

How many times before you pick one up and throw it back?

Two wrongs don't make a right.... or do they?

vent vent vent vent vent vent vent vent vent vent vent vent vent vent vent vent vent

-----
sarahsweets-not a fan of ultimatums?
You don't strike me as the type of person who would let anything go on long enough to find it necessary to hand one out...

[TheChemicals]

I love to dissapear sometimes. Just get away from people that are creating too much strain on me.

[Geno]

They feel good to give out, but 95% of the time they don't work in my favor

[Rebelyell]

Thats the attitude girl,that'll teach em,I hate being smiled too and lied too only to find out the person had a problem w me and too make matters worse they told every one else but didnt tell me in the 1st place...WHY?!

[TheChemicals]

Its your world, everyone else is just living in it. That is unless i show up....then its my world and you are my guest.