How to talk to family about Adult ADHD

[sunny15]

Hi. I'm in my twenties, and just had a late diagnosis of ADHD. The signs were there for a long time, but I only sought treatment just recently. I was wondering if anyone had advice on how to talk to family members about this.

I have to talk to my parents since I'm on their insurance for a few more years, and there's certain insurance paperwork I can't get around/they'll find out anyway. Aside from insurance, I still want to talk to them about this.

I'm kinda dragging my feet on this, because my parents have always been against ADHD medication, and are generally skeptical of ADD/ADHD and think it's just a matter of people willing themselves to be more attentive and focused. I used to agree with that, until after I started getting medication that helped a lot. So any advice on how to approach this?

[Assumption]

People with ADHD are ALREADY willing themselves to be more focused. There are neuroimaging studies that show this - certain parts of the brain associated with effort are actually overactive compared with neurotypical controls. It's just that this effort doesn't translate very will into action for people with ADHD.

[sunny15]

Originally Posted by Assumption

People with ADHD are ALREADY willing themselves to be more focused. There are neuroimaging studies that show this - certain parts of the brain associated with effort are actually overactive compared with neurotypical controls. It's just that this effort doesn't translate very will into action for people with ADHD.

I agree with this.
But I understand that people can have their different perceptions.
Unfortunately my family is one of those people who perceive it differently than I do. I'm not sure what to expect or how to even bring this up first

[sarahsweets]

Its hard to figure out when and how to talk about adhd. For me it was..."hey, did you know I was evaluated for adhd? Please pass the mashed potatos". Once the shock value was over i was able to explain what i knew. There are so many ignorant people out there that know nothing of adhd beyond what they think hyper little boys do. If it becomes an issue of convincing non believers, when you have your facts and they shun medical science, tell them to f**k off.

[crystal8080]

I think it will be easier for you since you already have a diagnosis and are getting treatment. Its not like you are coming to them saying you *think* you may have it. I think that would be harder for sceptics to rally behind. Other people are doing just that and feel alone in trying to get help. You are past that hurdle already. Not so bad, right?

I like how Sarahsweets dropped it. that's cute.

All you can do is just say it. Just blurt it out. I would expect some resistance at first. First step is just to say it. Then let them take it in. They might say a few things you don't like. Just say you understand how they feel. Be patient. When they are ready to learn more about it they will let you know.

I recommend Barkely videos on youtube. I sent my husband to watch them and it was a total turnaround. I like them because they talk about the biology of ADHD, and for many its more understandable as a concrete medical illness. So much more convincing for sceptics and the misinformed.

Good luck!

[splinter]

I can't work my folks out as I have told them that I have ADD and am taking medication for it which is helping me, and they have said nothing just let me babble on. They even filled in a questionaire for the Doctor about my childhood to see what I was like when young. But still don't refer to how it went or how I am coping with it.
I wonder if:
1. they think I blame them for not noticing and doing something about it.
2. they don't believe in such things and think I am attention seeking.
3. they may recognise some of the symptoms in them selves and consider there is nothing wrong with them and they made it through life, so get on with it.
They are both in their 80's and I want to speak to them about it before it is too late, but I don't want to have an arguement with them and fall out. I could just leave it and they would leave this life happy they did the right thing as parents or I could try to find out why they don't talk to me about it.
So I am sorry I don't have any answers only more questions.