Could I have ADHD?

[SquarePeg]

Hi, I am new to this site and really wanted information for my son who has been recently diagnosed. But the more I am trawling through the posts the more I recognise myself.

I can´t get tested for myself at the moment, too expensive and it´s taking all my energy to try and get both my kids sorted out at the moment.

Anyway I suppose I really noticed things when I stopped working full time and began working three days a week.

On my days not at work, I felt so overwhelmed by all the stuff I had to do (in actual fact was only normal stuff like food shopping, cleaning etc) that I ended up doing nothing but staring out the window, smoking and wandering around the house.

I find it hard to start anything or I start one thing, which leads to another half and hour later, then another thing blah blah and end up not finishing anything.

My three days at work I was ok because my work days were very structured, I´m fine when I have somebody telling me exactly what to do and when. I´m not good with free time. I would go to lunch and not be able to decide what to eat, so come back hungry.

My brain is like a sieve or a big black hole. I understand what people are saying or what I am reading but then it doesn´t register, it just falls into a big hole.

I constantly miss important appointments. I can wake up, see the words on a calender "dentist today 2.00" and still miss it, because it just didn´t register that I actually had to go.

My thoughts are constantly changing, every time I try to follow a thread, it changes, lots of random stuff but loads of really interesting "epiphanies" as I connect stuff together. I have actually always quite liked this. I´m probably not making much sense here.

I tend to get a little pieces of information and jump to conclusions, connecting it to other stuff.

I really shouldn´t be driving because my mind is always on something else.

My thoughts tend not to be about my everyday real life, stuff happening etc but rather my own theories about life, evolution, society and stuff like that.

When dealing with real life, I get so overwhelmed I´m pretty good at ignoring everything which has had serious consquences. I don´t mind for myself but stuff I haven´t dealt with and should have has affected my kids and that is not good. I´ve run out of space now so have to stop rambling

[rockydaydreamer]

Yeah, I get that overwhelming feeling all the time, whether I'm in college or not. The irony about it is how I can't wait to take a summer break, but then by August I'm already so bored that I want to get back to college because I actually miss being in a hurry to get in time for class and having assignments to do. Then When I begin college, I suddenly get overwhelmed again with the dread of all the papers I have to do sometimes it even gives me nightmares.

I don't have as many responsibilities as you, so during the summer I have a lot of free time to waste it online.
On the internet I tend to randomly hyperfocus on random topics like philosophy, religion, science, etc and then when I'm bored with that, I watch silly youtube videos.

[SquarePeg]

rockydaydreamer Exactly

[rockydaydreamer]

What was life for you growing up possibly with ADD (I think you may have it too)?

[SquarePeg]

Originally Posted by rockydaydreamer

What was life for you growing up possibly with ADD (I think you may have it too)?

far too long a story but for a varying reasons I left school at 14 and missed a lot of school before that. However I was very bright and passed exams without studying during the early years.


as school life got academically harder I found that I wasn´t able to study.

I can remember during primary school how I just used to zone out completely, it was like I was actually on another planet, physically and mentally floating above everyone.

I never fit in, I always knew I was different and that something wasn´t quite right with me but I never knew what it was, just felt that I wasn´t meant for this earth.

I used to go to bed early just so I could lay in bed thinking my random thoughts in peace. I have always had imaginary conversations in my head for as long as I can remember.

weird child wasn´t I

[rockydaydreamer]

I can relate to completely zoning out and having imaginary internal dialogues in my head. I always thought it was normal, then I learned it really wasn't when I heard about ADD.

Sounds like your case of ADD is worse than mine, did your school think of putting you in special classes?

[SquarePeg]

Originally Posted by rockydaydreamer

I can relate to completely zoning out and having imaginary internal dialogues in my head. I always thought it was normal, then I learned it really wasn't when I heard about ADD.

Sounds like your case of ADD is worse than mine, did your school think of putting you in special classes?

I started to suspect this year that my internal dialogues may not be normal, I just thought everyone did it and that everyone had all these random thoughts constantly going through their heads.

I mean, what is going on in the heads of normal people then?

WHen I did go to school I was very bright. I was able to look at half a question then answer it. I remember once during chemistry instead of copying the homework from the board, I wrote the answers in my book and the teacher called me a liar when I told him I´d done the homework. Then he saw it for himself.

But I can´t actually study, more than 10 minutes and I´m getting up making coffee, checking my emails, doing a bit more studying, it´s an effort, my mind just drifts.

[rockydaydreamer]

From what I heard, kids usually have internal dialogues, but when they grow up they only have it when under stress. I heard it stays suppressed in the subconscious mind so that one can consciously focus on on thing at a time.

However the ADHD mind is overloaded and has trouble storing everything away in the subconscious mind.

Hopefully you can get help with meds, so far meds have helped me, but sometimes I have problems urinating when taking it. It's different for everyone.

[ConcertaParent]

My child with ADHD has audible conversations with herself, including in bed before sleeping. When she gets in trouble at school, she would describe to the principal that she has a thought or voice that tells her that she should not do a bad thing, but another voice tells her to go ahead and do it.

Non-ADHD people like me are easily able to focus on the task at hand with negligible internal dialogues.

Originally Posted by LindaGreen

I started to suspect this year that my internal dialogues may not be normal, I just thought everyone did it and that everyone had all these random thoughts constantly going through their heads.

I mean, what is going on in the heads of normal people then?