I just sit and look at the computer all day

[Oilspill]

Hey

I just sit and look at the computer all day, maybe play a game of battleships, check email, check facebook, but mainly I just sits. Pity really because I really got lots of work to do, and then there is other stuff I really want to do, but until someone comes along and expects me to do something now...I just sit and look at the computer. So bored with what I have to do, yet some how cannot do what I want to do....Oh well thats life I suppose.

Really would just love to show middle finger to all these stupid people that have all these stupid expectations. Work, wife, kids...admin, tax, would just love to get on the motorbike and head off into the wilderness. Pity normal people cannot accept that I see things differently, that its what I need to do, that doing this sort of thing is who I am, that its not because I don't love you or don't want to be with you, but I just need to escape from this hell they call modern society, the noise, the pointless selfishness. Why should we work, why do we need money...this is hell, people don't actually "love" you, they just want to own you.


Noise and that they would take this as this stupid planet is controlled by bunch of Nanny politians, hen picked

Think maybe I will might get on the bike and dissapear for a while...the wife is going to be ******.

[SquarePeg]

Couldn´t agree more, well said.

[NateDEEzy]

I can definitely relate. I wonder how many of us feel this way or have felt this way at one point. I consider myself a thinker, and I often contemplate why life has to be lived a certain way.. it's like people can't see outside the blinders of modern society and they think there's only one way to live, everybody strives for success, but what is success?

[SquarePeg]

I had a similar post once. I am 47 years old and have thought about this often in my twenties. At one point I really wanted to opt out of society and all it´s unwritten rules. I just needed a break for a few years.

I often look at homeless people and my heart goes out to them. I always think, that could have been or could be me. These people have dropped out of mainstream society for one reason or another, maybe it was only meant to be for a short while whilst things were a bit rough. But for many people, especially if they don´t have support, society doesn´t let you back in, once you opt out its bye bye.

Often wonder what it´s like to live in one of the remote tribes where food, warmth and shelter main things that matter. Where survival is the goal not "happiness or success".

[demonlord990]

wow!exactly like me!but 1 diff!i test many medicines on myself(as my dr said)and still always ask myself why i am alive?what is my goal in life?i spend 19 h/d behind pc,and do nothing!i feel all people around me are some idiots that dont know what is the real life means....even at hardest moments i always said nvm it!always think im in a prison but will be free one day....that day will show others they are idiots
hope my bulls...show y that u are not alone here!(28th hour im behind pc and wanna drink smt but nvm!)

[SquarePeg]

oh demonlord you should just like me as well. I often ask myself "why am I still here?" It´s not what I want to die or anything (been through the suicide stuff years ago) it´s just that it seems that I am just on this earth just hanging around doing nothing waiting to die. I´ve spent my whole life aimlessly drifting, although I´ve had good stuff happen.

[Oilspill]

Thanks all, its brilliant to know others out there also experience the world as you do. I think one of the problems is that while "normal' people are quite able to just funtion in a self centred way, we see the big picture which makes that almost impossible. Hence we see them as "stupid" and wonder why everyone is running around like ants, pointless and they all think they are so magnificant. Down side it that this noise makes it impossible for me to clear the decks and focus on one thing that I really think is important, or that I know will give me great joy. It is also difficult when i have to overcome the black hole just to function sort of normally. What I taught myself is that when I no longer have a reason to get up in the morning, I say well its ok to get up for someone else, the wife, kids, friends, the less fortunate and that gets me going and strangely content again. The fight is to become self motivated rather than motivated by others or the big picture. Think its a case of extremes, all or nothing which makes it so difficult. The big challenge for me is electronic stuff, computers, the internet, smartphones, etc. Really suck me into dong nothing, like the best drug ever. Going to switch the internet off except for 1 hour a day, replace the smartphone with just a normal phone, and take all games off my computer. See if that helps.

[mayza1]

I'm sorry to hear many of you are down. I too have felt like this. I don't now, I feel ambitious and hopeful!I can't suggest much to help you all feel a little better but I will try by telling you what helps me When I was feeling down, I started just looking on youtube and motivational stuff. Mainly just stuff from movies and a bit from Muhammed Ali, they make me feel better and ready to go out and take life head on. Try these two:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqpQzT1Kbuk

&

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cFL80PN3wA

I also like what Richard Branson says: 'The first step is always the hardest'

All I think now is, why not? Really what is the worst that can happen.

[Flory]

watching zeitgeist and zeitgeist moving forward (though some of the opinion is flawed) really made me re-consider this money driven environment we live in.....

[Flory]

this video would probably offend other users...sorry...took it down

deep ****..

[SquarePeg]

Oilspill - didn´t have internet for nearly 2 days, wow what a difference, I got so much done. I´m going to limit myself to use it only for my studies (well I am going to try)

[Oilspill]

Thanks for the video links. Flory that stuff is so interesting and exactly how I think. Already half way through the first one. Squarepeg, glad to hear you tried it and it worked for you. Seems to work for me too, I took all the games off my computer and locked it down through windows essentials to only a few hours a day. Got the wife to put in a password I don't know. It is working, managed to do a lot around the house this weekend, even finished some art I had been putting off for years. Its difficult but worth it. Gave my fancy smart phone to one of my kids and dug out an old phone. Even went for a little walk today. Think this might work.

[Flory]

you are most welcome...

[Flory]

re zeitgeist...(yes i know some of it is cult-esque) but i watched it a few years ago...and it has literally changed the way i think about everything...

[SlowRunner]

Hello OilSpill,

I am Slow Runner, nice meeting you. Everything in my life is damn slow except my bloody brain, which races like a winning horse, with out of context thoughts, out of nowhere, out of control. I feel like you 99%. Below is my story. I am not perfect just trying to express something after reading what you have written. It is for everyone. Thank you.

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My main gripe is I feel like imprisoned in this modern world. All I want in this world is a small piece of land, where I can fish, hunt and survive on my own with my ancestral knowledge and ingenuity. Self sustain in harmony with others and their way of life, as long as it is not generally condemned. I don't want or wish to be part of this rapid progress and, am not able to evolve so rapidly with today's society. I feel like we are in a bubble and this is unnatural progression(today's high-tech world). I have no problem with anybody and love everybody except the one that tries to hurt me. I feel like, with today's technology, we can live way better and naturally closer to nature than we are now.

I want to be left Alone. I am different, I know this because, out of almost 2000 people, family, friends and acquaintances that I personally know till now(late 30's), I am the only odd one. How lucky I am I hit the lottery for all wrong things in life WTF! It hurts.

I not only suffer from ADHD, but suffer from 2 birth effects, 3 chronic illnesses plus other related abnormalities and complications. My relation with illness is a life long affair. I look normal from outside, fit and fine, but internally shattered and faulty.

Most people at work, family and friends judged me. They made me aware of my disabilities. If people bother me less, I will be happy. Not everyone in this world is perfect, normal people should have bit more patience than they do, to deal with inefficient and ill fated people, you know. We have to live as well and need to earn enough to make ends meet.

Normal people should understand that they have normal problems, we have those and more to deal with. Please let us live, God didn't made us bad, but made us inefficient and imperfect, give us a chance, we are also humans and we deserve to live.

I am a dreamer, feeling accomplished and able to remain sane and survive without being a burden or headache to the society, having ADHD doesn't mean we are useless and good for nothing. There are very few things that are impossible to do in real world, if we have right frame of mind. I have used my ADHD to my advantage, did what I thought was right given my condition, work where attention, focus & concentration are not needed. It worked for me. ADHD sufferers needing help should seek help or think and come up with their own solutions. I am not rich, but have accomplished feeling as I have come to terms with life.

When everything in life is random and you are trying to make sense of the chaos, nothing seems or comes easy. ADHD itself is a problem that leads to more problems, mainly major depression in my case. I have expectations on myself, I wish to meet some minimum expectations of the society, inability and disability both are preventing fulfilment. I care for the society, because I live in it, I use its infrastructure to carry on with my life at present. When self expectations are Zero and when I ignore social responsibility, minding my own business in my own little world, I am less depressed but depressed, because society taught me what is good and bad, how to work and make money, live happily, make your dreams comes true etc. and I am not even close to what society taught me, living almost like a Vegetable while mentally sound and aware.

Survival of the Fittest, Darwin is damn Right I am trying, honest & optimistic continuing to live on until I loose awareness or when my biological clock stops.

Slow Runner.

PS: It's nice to become a member of this forum. Happy to read thought of others like me. Thank you.