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General Parenting Issues The purpose of this forum is to discuss general parenting issues related to children with AD/HD(ADD & ADHD)

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  #1  
Old 09-18-12, 04:39 PM
turtle86 turtle86 is offline
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I don't know what to do.

I found out a little less than 3 weeks ago that my 3 1/2 year old son is ADHD. They put him on Foclain first and it worked for about 5 days then it just stopped. At his 2 week med check the doctor put him on Adderall. It seems to be working better but once he comes home from school he is whiny, hateful, refuses to eat and when he does it is very little , can not calm down to go to sleep at his bed time. His teachers say his meds seem to work until 10:30 then he is back to his old self. We are called most everyday to come and get him because of his behavior. There is more but I just can't gather my thoughts to put it all in words. I feel like I am losing my little boy. I just want him to be happy and to be able to sit in school for a day without us having to go and get him half way though the day. Does anyone have any suggestions on what else I can try and do. We have taken anything from him that has red die in it or is high in sugars out of his diet. I am just about at the end of my rope. I feel that I am letting him down by not being able to get him the right help. Any suggestions would be awesome.
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Old 09-18-12, 05:26 PM
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Re: I don't know what to do.

I'm no expert on this, but it doesn't sound like its working, you are under a lot of stress. Maybe you should take him back to the dr and see if there is a better medication for him to try?
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Old 09-18-12, 06:07 PM
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Re: I don't know what to do.

Woah woah woah. 3 weeks isn't a drop in the bucket. It isn't the sugar, but limiting it is a good idea.

He's to young for real education school. Are we talking about daycare or some sort of pre-k? Are the teachers making them sit do long boring tasks. Expecting him to actually participate in quiet time; yeah right. I had to be allowed to get up and walk around, without disturbing others, to burn that energy. Really if there is a problem going on you should see about going to watch two or three days or seeing if you can drop by at times and look in. It could be just awful teachers or a lack of consideration for his adhd.

It took almost two months for me to start eating right without having to force it. Sleep about a month or so to normalize. It is definitely going to take a some real time to adjust.

Get some sensory entertainment going on at home. Avoid the tv, but music can do wonders for adhd by calming the symptoms. My son and I have been dancing since he could walk to what he wants to listen to. Perhaps some nifty advanced toys are in order to put that brain to good use. Find what he really like and reinforce it.

Don't expect a miracle from a 4 year old. It is going to take a lifetime of adapting with adhd. Just being diagnosed 3 1/2 weeks ago you should still be waiting for the medication to start causing more permanent behavior. Just try finding what one of the problems is and work on them one at a time. Use time-out or something but don't make them last a long time and drop it when time-out is done. Keep working with positive reinforcement for good behaviors (instant gratification) and over time you will see change.

Sounds like you're stressed out though. Too much work and having to deal with applying a fix to the answer you were given of what the 'problem' is. Do you or the mom have adhd as well? Would be relative to what kind of advice you may need or are looking for. ADHD treated early and with understanding can be a lot more wonderful than it is inhibiting. Einstein and Socrates >_>

The medicine doesn't just stop working most of the time. Its takes an adjustment at first and then that 'buzz' is going to wear off and the clutter and ruminating may be gone some, but he will still be a ball full of energy; just more constant than up and down.

The right help is you and his other parent if they are around. It is not in a book, or through a doctor. Love, patients, understanding, investment, and making sure that you take a humanistic approach. Sure there are lots of advice in books and online but lots of us have adhd and still just as different as apples and oranges. If you take the special care to speak and educate a certain way, use proper short term punishment/instant gratification reward and reinforcement, and work with the condition instead of against it over time it will get easier. I don't understand to much why really young kids are getting doped up and needing special education. I have always had severe combination and I did quite well until puberty came.

If you are stressed your child knows and it affects him too. Don't just throw all you got at him make sure you take control of yourself as well. It is all really a guessing game. I have it though and could see it my youngin when he got to walking and playing. Sure we walk a lot, take daily trips to the park or store, and listen to music more then half the day. He also got numbers to 50, his alphabet, how to use a cell phone (calling, pictures, audio, video) and many other things down pat by 1 1/2 and xbox (to zune) search and how to work it by two. Not for a comparison but it just shows that even if he doesn't want to sit and color a specific picture for twenty minutes doesn't mean its a bad thing. Find the strengths. Find your strength. Love unconditionally.
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Old 09-18-12, 06:09 PM
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Re: I don't know what to do.

Motivational pep talk

I have two little ones. Only the male shows ADHD traits. I won't consider treatment till (he) either shows learning disabilities developing or he starts to struggle with himself.
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Old 09-19-12, 09:01 AM
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Re: I don't know what to do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by turtle86 View Post
Does anyone have any suggestions on what else I can try and do. We have taken anything from him that has red die in it or is high in sugars out of his diet. I am just about at the end of my rope. I feel that I am letting him down by not being able to get him the right help. Any suggestions would be awesome.
If your child is sensitive to chemical additives (and many who show symptoms of adhd are), then you need to eliminate all the additives from his diet in order to see any results. Yellow dye, blue dye, etc. are all made from the same petro-chemicals as red dye and so are artificial flavors and some preservatives. Sugar (in moderation) is not usually a problem, it is the artificial stuff and the High Fructose corn syrup that most kids react to.

My ds was asked to leave 3 day cares/nursery schools by the time he was 3 1/2. We started following the Feingold diet at that time and it made a definite difference.

Check out the articles posted below my signature and if you would like more information on the program we follow, please feel free to send me a private message.
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Natural Alternatives are worth investigating. They can and do work for some people. Dietary intervention (especially the elimination of chemical additives such as artificial colors, artificial flavors, and certain preservatives) has been very effective in helping to control adhd symptoms in my child.


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Old 09-20-12, 02:36 AM
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Re: I don't know what to do.

I wonder if the doctor is taking a "low and slow" approach with the meds? If so, it may be that he has started with the lowest dose, and a higher one will make more of a difference. With my DS6, we saw very little difference at 10mg of Aderall XR. At 15mg, there was a lot of improvement, but the teacher could practically set her clock by when the first part wore off and the next one kicked in. At 20mg, the change was dramatic. Things are a bit more complicated for us because he also has Aspergers with violent meltdowns - it actually took 9 months of tweaking to find the right combination for him.
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I highly recommend:
Essential Ideas for Parents by Russell Barkley (video on youtube)
Parenting Children with ADHD: 10 Lessons That Medicine Cannot Teach by Vincent J. Monastra
Smart but Scattered: The Revolutionary "Executive Skills" Approach by Peg Dawson
Parenting Your Asperger Child by Alan Sohn
Wrightslaw: From Emotions to Advocacy: The Special Education Survival Guide by Peter Wright
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Old 10-04-12, 10:26 PM
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Re: I don't know what to do.

I'm actually surprised that he was diagnosed so young. My understanding is that they typically will not diagnose a child until the age of at least five. Something that was changed from the age of six not long ago. Mainly because kids that would be of a toddler/preschool age are defiant anyway and go through mood changes and such. Maybe it's about different policies from each state? Wonder if that's the difference?
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