For married folks, esp. ladies - how does an ADHDer manage to put together a wedding?

[spunkysmum]

How did you do it? Was it as seriously challenging as I would assume it must be? How did it turn out?

[amberwillow]

It was fine, but my tastes are simple and my Dh is the same.
I freaked everyone out by buying bridal shoes the day before our wedding.
I cut a few corners and kept things pretty basic but meaningful.

Everyone still comments how comfortable and low pressure our wedding felt.

[spunkysmum]

Originally Posted by amberwillow

It was fine, but my tastes are simple and my Dh is the same.
I freaked everyone out by buying bridal shoes the day before our wedding.
I cut a few corners and kept things pretty basic but meaningful.

Everyone still comments how comfortable and low pressure our wedding felt.

That sounds great. How long did you plan?

[amberwillow]

I just decided on the place: at home

The celebrant was probably the biggest decision. We looked at a few.

We went for Afternoon Tea instead of a sit down dinner.

One of my friends is an ace photographer, so she did our pictures as our gift.
We asked for money towards the honeymoon as our gifts since we couldn't afford much of one otherwise.

I guess the whole thing took 3 months to set up. It was fairly easy.

[ADHDTigger]

Spunkies, I made a living planning weddings.

What do you need to know???

[Fuzzy12]

spunky are you getting married? my parents and in laws organised most of the wedding as is common in my country. We wanted it simple and cosy they wanTed a state affair. Anyway i still recommend simple and cosy and don't stress too much abt it.

[SquarePeg]

Originally Posted by ADHDTigger

Spunkies, I made a living planning weddings.

What do you need to know???

I envy you. I would rather poke my eyes out with a sharp stick than attempt to organise a wedding, I think the stress would kill me. How is it that you can be so organised? I can´t even organise the kids´lunchboxes

[spunkysmum]

Originally Posted by Fuzzy12

spunky are you getting married? my parents and in laws organised most of the wedding as is common in my country. We wanted it simple and cosy they wanTed a state affair. Anyway i still recommend simple and cosy and don't stress too much abt it.

LOL, no concrete plans at this time. I just started thinking about how on earth a person would start planning a wedding if the issue came up and you weren't one of those gals that started planning your wedding when you were 6 years old.

I attended my boyfriend's brother's wedding on the weekend and as they are the only two kids in their family the question "so when are you going to get the other one married off" was raised a few times to his dad, along with "are you next" to my boyfriend. I was scolded by his brother the groom for not being more aggressive about going for the bouquet. And I noticed that through all of this my boyfriend had no negative reaction whatsoever. He didn't even pretend to recoil from the idea or make any jokes about what a bad idea marriage is - which is highly unlike him, I can assure you. I found this to be significant, and it started me thinking that maybe it wouldn't hurt to have some idea of what kind of wedding I'd like so that I wouldn't be totally at a loss if it came up some time in the future.

[Lisa_Mac]

The way my wedding turned out was magical. Because I'm a fashion designer I made my own dress. Reception was held at my parents home. My work colleagues' husband designed the invitations, I only had to take the possies to the printers and collect. A family friend whose a florist volunteered to do the flowers. All I had to do was go with her to the flower wholesalers to choose the flowers and pay for them and then collect them on the day after I'd had my hair done. Church service was at the village church. My parents, being caterers, did the buffet dinner. My husband-to-be bought the booze and a friend of ours' daughter and her boyfriend manned the bar. Her sister played DJ. My very good friend, whose a make up artist came to my house and did my make up. BEST wedding present EVER. Getting little gifts for our guests to take home was easy. I just contacted a promotions company who made little boxes with heart shape chocolates inside, with our colourscheme ribbons and a sticker with our names on it and the date. Cars were my Dads and my brother in laws' sports car. My staff at work made me the most gorgeous custom made garter with blue ribbons. (something blue). Something old was my shoes that were just the right height and worn in so comfortable and because they were silk fabric I sprayed them gold. Something new was my dress and something borrowed was my Mom's beautiful pearl necklace.

My bridesmaids organized their own dresses. I just gave them the fabric and the patterns. Only 3 bridesmaids (my sister and two nieces)

Because everyone chipped in it was a team effort. Very little stress. I felt relaxed even though I was sitting up till late the night before fixing my veil. This was 17 years ago and I remember it so well as if it were just a couple of years ago.

I loved my wedding. It wasn't a high society type of wedding and we only invited the people we knew well and definitely no business connections unless they were also friends. Kept the numbers to just over 100 due to it being at home.

The secret to a good adhd wedding is a) keep it simple and b) get everyone involved. Make it a team effort. Don't try and do too much on your own or you will just freak out.

Lx

[Amtram]

We paid for it ourselves, which naturally made it a much simpler affair. Found a place that provided the cake and centerpieces so we didn't have to deal with that, ditched the wedding favors, didn't have a limo, got a DJ instead of a band. The most complicated part was dealing with one of my bridesmaids!

[Zevispaz]

I hate planning. My mom loves planning, and she was all excited about the wedding.

It was a natural fit.

Actually, I picked out the place, and my mom took care of all the details by finding the caterer setting up appointments,finding the photographer, dj, etc... The only thing I wanted was my color scheme and a chocolate fountain.

Then my dad stepped in and reigned her in from going too crazy. She still went off the budget.

I also know a bunch of artsy type people, so I used them to help get the wedding off the ground. So I designed my invitations and "save the dates", but someone printed them all for me as a wedding gift. My cousin is a professional model, so she did make up, a friend is a hair stylist, so she did all the hair for me and the bridesmaids.

It was a really fun and stress free wedding.

[Beekeeper]

Short answer: Plan? Heck no, that's too overwhelming!

We actually eloped, didn't tell anyone, and had the "wedding" later. Long story, but it worked out nicely because we weren't stressed out at all.

We commandeered the deck and patio of a local restaurant that was owned by a friend, I wore a very simple white dress (Macy's, it was a prom dress I think! I had found it literally the day before, LOL), we stopped by our jeweler and picked out our rings on the way over, and we had asked everyone to bring a bucket of sand. My sister in law went to Fresh Market and got all our favorite desserts, so no cake either. Mom insisted on flowers, so I had a bouquet. She picked out nasturtiums for me, they were simple and beautiful.

The sand was so we could get married on the "beach". The restaurant was on a canal, half a mile from the beach, so we had everyone dump their sand (our guests had fun and gotten it from all over, and had stories to go with) on the deck and we did the "barefoot on the beach" thing during the ceremony. That was about the most planned part of the whole thing, the sand. Our friend who is a notary did the ceremony, which was Adam and Eve's ceremony from Northern Exposure, so all we had to do was say "yeah".

We fed everyone (choice of salmon or filet), and encouraged people to bring their cameras but we got disposables and put one or two on every table. There were some amazing photos taken. Guests were allowed to stay and party with us at the bar or head out after dinner. Very simple, and about 50 people.

People still tell me it was one of the most fun weddings they've been to, mostly because it was so much fun, and felt more like a party than a wedding. It was perfect for us.

[crystal8080]

Originally Posted by Beekeeper

Short answer: Plan? Heck no, that's too overwhelming!

We actually eloped, didn't tell anyone, and had the "wedding" later. Long story, but it worked out nicely because we weren't stressed out at all.

We commandeered the deck and patio of a local restaurant that was owned by a friend, I wore a very simple white dress (Macy's, it was a prom dress I think! I had found it literally the day before, LOL), we stopped by our jeweler and picked out our rings on the way over, and we had asked everyone to bring a bucket of sand. My sister in law went to Fresh Market and got all our favorite desserts, so no cake either. Mom insisted on flowers, so I had a bouquet. She picked out nasturtiums for me, they were simple and beautiful.

The sand was so we could get married on the "beach". The restaurant was on a canal, half a mile from the beach, so we had everyone dump their sand (our guests had fun and gotten it from all over, and had stories to go with) on the deck and we did the "barefoot on the beach" thing during the ceremony. That was about the most planned part of the whole thing, the sand. Our friend who is a notary did the ceremony, which was Adam and Eve's ceremony from Northern Exposure, so all we had to do was say "yeah".

We fed everyone (choice of salmon or filet), and encouraged people to bring their cameras but we got disposables and put one or two on every table. There were some amazing photos taken. Guests were allowed to stay and party with us at the bar or head out after dinner. Very simple, and about 50 people.

People still tell me it was one of the most fun weddings they've been to, mostly because it was so much fun, and felt more like a party than a wedding. It was perfect for us.

Wow you did a lot more planning than us!

One summer our friends got married and they didn't enjoy any of it, families fighting over where they were seated blah blah blah...so we decided to elope. We were in Ontario for his cousin's big wedding, only told his grandma so we wouldn't steal their thunder. They did a lot of planning after all.

Bought some nice rings Boxing Day sale, got a license, bought a dress at a used store, went to Niagara Falls after their wedding on New Years Eve. Got a nice hotel, found a chapel, ate at a nice restaurant, stayed a few days. Had a very chilly ride on a horse drawn wagon. Did the tourist thing.

Our witnesses were our photographer and someone at the chapel. I would not change a thing it was a great stress free wedding!

[Spacemaster]

I've always wanted to plan the wedding, and be queen for a day, but then not have to get married.

I like choosing colors, flowers, LOVE dresses, all that. I just seriously do NOT ever want to get married. I'd probably talk half the girls out of marriage.

I really should be a wedding planner. I don't think I could deal with the brides and their mothers though.

[spunkysmum]

Originally Posted by Spacemaster

I've always wanted to plan the wedding, and be queen for a day, but then not have to get married.

I like choosing colors, flowers, LOVE dresses, all that. I just seriously do NOT ever want to get married. I'd probably talk half the girls out of marriage.

I really should be a wedding planner. I don't think I could deal with the brides and their mothers though.

LOL! I went with my sister and my mom when she (my sister) was picking out her wedding dress and I bet that was the easiest day those salespeople ever had. My sister picked the first dress she tried on and my mom was so laid-back. Even when she gets uptight about something she would never think of ripping on a saleslady in a bridal store. Must be where I get my own laid-back nature from.