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  #1  
Old 10-01-12, 12:49 AM
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Insecure - is this related to ADHD?

Weird question - I am really insecure in a lot of ways - my intelligence, the amount of interesting things I have to say, my appearance, being social... I was just wondering, is there a correlation between various insecurities and ADHD? Are a lot of you insecure?
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Old 10-01-12, 02:17 AM
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Re: Insecure - is this related to ADHD?

I think most people are insecure in some way or other to a certain extent. It might be kind of hard to nail down ADHD-specific insecurity.
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Old 10-01-12, 11:28 AM
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Re: Insecure - is this related to ADHD?

I was under the impression that ADHD was pretty well known for causing low self-esteem and insecurities over intelligence and socializing among other things. I could be wrong, though, as I'm still one of the newbies who doesn't know as much as they might like.

I haven't been officially diagnosed yet, but for what it's worth, I do get where you're coming from. I've been very positive lately but when I was younger I spent a good deal of time beating myself up. I think it's largely due to environmental factors, though I could be totally wrong. My parents were not terribly supportive, especially when I went to university. My wife is extremely supportive, even when I do really stupid things.

I still take the time to kick myself around occasionally. I think everyone does that from time to time, though.
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Old 10-01-12, 11:52 AM
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Re: Insecure - is this related to ADHD?

Wondering what "normal " is causes a great deal of insecurity.
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Old 10-01-12, 02:32 PM
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Re: Insecure - is this related to ADHD?

I spent most of my teen years lashing out against anyone and everyone... so, I was never really all that insecure at the time. I didn't care what anyone thought. I just did my thing without second-guessing myself.

Over the last decade, that fire has gone out. I'm not inherently insecure. My reaction really depends on the connection that I have with someone. If I feel like I'm in a submissive role, I do tend to be insecure. If I feel that I am among peers, I can start a friendship with a stranger that makes us look like old friends.

Sometimes, it just varies from day to day.
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Old 10-01-12, 08:15 PM
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Re: Insecure - is this related to ADHD?

sadly i think insecurity is a problem of adhd. the issue is that we put ourselves out there and are often reprimanded for doing things that are natural to us. for example in social settings it would be things like interrupting, changing topics rapidly, domninating conversations. in a work setting it might be making decisions without thinking them through, forgetting things, disagreeing with co-workers etc. after years and years of negative feedback we become hesitant to engage in any action out of fear that we may be reprimanded and so theres a bit of mental dissonance. i know im good at science and math and english yet i received terrible grades which indicate that i am bad at those subjects. this dissonance inherently comes with insecurity. i understand social rules and im attractive and likeable yet its hard for me to remember to text people back or invite them to things so people think i dont care to be friends with them.

constant negative feedback in multiple areas of your life will cause you to believe you are less capable than you really are. this is why i believe people with adhd are generally more insecure on average.
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Old 10-01-12, 08:53 PM
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Re: Insecure - is this related to ADHD?

It depends on the context and what's going on.

I know I'm good at art, so in situations where I have to draw in front of people, or show my designs, I'm pretty confident and secure. If someone asks me questions, I know how to answer them. I can give instructions and teach people how to draw/use programs confidently.

When I'm outside my comfort zone I can be a little insecure and timid though. I'm shy, so I can be insecure when meeting new people, because I never know how to strike up a conversation, and I scramble up my sentences/syllables when I'm nervous. I don't talk much in new situations or with new people. But generally once a conversation starts going, I don't know when to shut up.

But I'm not insecure enough to be non-confrontational or let people push me around either. I can be assertive when I need to be. I don't seek out confrontations, but I don't avoid them either. When I was younger, I was a bit fiery with my temper when I was irritated or upset. Now I'm much more chill, and tend to breath before opening my mouth. I've also gotten better at telling people they're irritating me by presenting it as a joke. I tell my father in law he's a grumpy old man as a joke, whenever he's being irrational. It diffuses the tension, and they get it without feeling bad about it or feeling resentful.
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Old 10-01-12, 11:19 PM
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Re: Insecure - is this related to ADHD?

Not that weird a question. You have a disorder that sets you apart from most people and not in a terribly pleasing way. It's perfectably reasonable to feel insecure.
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Old 10-01-12, 11:27 PM
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Re: Insecure - is this related to ADHD?

Mine is insecurity topped with occasional paranoia
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Old 10-02-12, 12:46 AM
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Re: Insecure - is this related to ADHD?

Without a doubt...

I went through my whole life thinking "what's wrong with me?" I was so socially awkward mainly because I couldn't talk because my mind was going 1000 miles per hour when I was talking to someone new. And during teenage years, when EVERYHING is magnified, forget it.

I was always so hard on myself, put so much pressure on myself, etc. Now I think I know why
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