Is it possible for somebody to be unaware of just how badly they swear?

[spunkysmum]

I don't mean the kind of involuntary swearing that occurs with Tourette's and such, but a person who uses an inordinate amount of swear words in otherwise ordinary conversation, more than the average person uses, but is in every other way generally kind, sensitive to other people, mannerly and decent?

[crystal8080]

I swear like a sailor!!! Maybe I do it to give myself an extra millisecond to say the next word in my thought sequence?

But usually I do it, and someone has to tell me I'm doing it. If I'm excited about something it happens too. My mom and sister used to say "FLUSH!!!!" to me as a kid when I would start swearing in excitement.

[ana futura]

Oh, I swear so much too! In front of kids, the elderly, at fancy gatherings, I've probably even sworn in a church.

I hate how much I do it. I frequently make a grand effort of stopping, but I give up after an hour or so. I also like to think that I am kind, mannerly, and decent (most of the time...)

[Verile]

Do swear words really have any correlation with sensitivity, kindness, or decency?

I'd liken it to people who "um" or "like" too often. They often don't notice it themselves. Some people have just gotten used to swearing as gap closers or to fill in the blanks while speaking. Maybe they watch too much Comedy Central or BET.

[ana futura]

Originally Posted by Verile

I'd liken it to people who "um" or "like" too often. They often don't notice it themselves. Some people have just gotten used to swearing as gap closers or to fill in the blanks while speaking. Maybe they watch too much Comedy Central or BET.

I do watch too much south park, and I say "um" and "like" a lot as well. After I watched the first season of Deadwood my swearing was taken to new heights.

If I'm around kids I think I say "like" more, probably because I'm trying so hard not to swear.

[Zevispaz]

If I'm excited about something I'll swear without realizing it. But I'm pretty good about catching myself for the most part.

[spunkysmum]

Originally Posted by Verile

Do swear words really have any correlation with sensitivity, kindness, or decency?

Yes. Some people are very offended by swear words, so it does seem somewhat incongruous for somebody who is normally sensitive to the feelings of others to be unaware of how uncomfortable their language can make other people. (Not including the folks here who have admitted they have a tendency to swear, since they have indicated that they do catch themselves when they are going overboard with it.)

[pooka]

I swear a lot, but I was kinda raised that way - my parents didn't really have a problem using curse words around me when I was younger. They definitely slip into my vocabulary a lot more when I'm excited or upset.

[Kasi]

Oh yes. I was absolutely horrible about it when I was in high school. I've calmed down with the swearing incredibly since then, but I still do it quite a bit. I was actually sort of piqued when I first started on this forum because I would submit a reply to a thread and there would be so MANY asterisks throughout my reply. I can 'alter' my response patterns in a certain situation, like here, but it won't happen anywhere else and it takes a few times for me to get 'used' to it and for it to become unconscious.

TBH, I've never seen why swearing is considered uncouth, it depends on the situation. If they're used for insults, yes. I can see why that would be a problem, but for emphasis or humor? Not so much. I do try to keep in mind that there are people who take issue with that and try to keep it at a minimum for situations like those.

[fracturedstory]

Yes it is possible. She goes by many names, one of them being mum.

I have to really let her know that the subject of conversation doesn't call for such language, with children present. She has no control. I suspect she has ADHD. And if you've seen my other posts about her you'd know it's not just in that area.

I think I had to hush her before she let off a whole range of obscenities in church, the church she introduced me to.

[Verile]

Originally Posted by spunkysmum

Yes. Some people are very offended by swear words, so it does seem somewhat incongruous for somebody who is normally sensitive to the feelings of others to be unaware of how uncomfortable their language can make other people. (Not including the folks here who have admitted they have a tendency to swear, since they have indicated that they do catch themselves when they are going overboard with it.)

I have to disagree. Having went through the military it wasn't uncommon to find a person with a heart of gold but a mouth of waste. What's offensive is subjective so being offended by swear words may be a personal problem.

Some people are very offended by Christmas trees, for example.

[Abi]

Originally Posted by spunkysmum

I don't mean the kind of involuntary swearing that occurs with Tourette's and such, but a person who uses an inordinate amount of swear words in otherwise ordinary conversation, more than the average person uses, but is in every other way generally kind, sensitive to other people, mannerly and decent?

I do this.

But I don't think I qualify a "mannerly and decent" either, so do what you will with this

[fracturedstory]

Originally Posted by Kasi

TBH, I've never seen why swearing is considered uncouth, it depends on the situation. If they're used for insults, yes. I can see why that would be a problem, but for emphasis or humor? Not so much. I do try to keep in mind that there are people who take issue with that and try to keep it at a minimum for situations like those.

Would you swear in a professional setting, in front of children, in the house of parliament?
It's uncivilised, and besides, it limits the vocabulary.

Think of the meaning behind those words. I have little respect for people who use those words in everyday conversation. If it's expressed in anger, especially when a hammer comes down on your thumb, it's tolerated.

However, as a child I love Tim Roth's portrayal of Dutch Schultz in Hoodlum because he swore so much. Then again, I was an immature 13 year old. Swearing was forbidden, as was many of the themes in Hoodlum.

All swear words are very sharp one syllable words. I get a unsettling sensory experience from them.

[Drewbacca]

I cuss like a sailor... but then, I was a sailor.

I'm good about watching my mouth around children. If I slip up, I will apologize to the child first and then the parent. Most likely, such a self-inflicted punishment will send a stronger message to the child than if I never opened my mouth in the first place.

[Kasi]

Originally Posted by fracturedstory

Would you swear in a professional setting, in front of children, in the house of parliament?
It's uncivilised, and besides, it limits the vocabulary.

Yes, I would swear in a professional setting with fellow associates of mine. No, I don't swear in front of children, it's often more trouble than it's worth. And yes, I would swear in our version of Parliament (I'm in the US) given what they absurdly seem to think are swears.

My proclivity for swears has never limited me from being able to be coherent in a 'proper' way when it's necessary.

I believe our definition of 'swearing' may differ highly from each other. I don't tend to simply use the oh-so-popular four letter words and DO find them quite boring and annoying when it's all someone uses. It helps I often use swears in other languages.